Confusedguy1988 Posted May 6, 2012 Posted May 6, 2012 So we've all heard of breadcrumb text messages. Your ex clinging onto you trying to prevent you from moving on by randomly sending texts from time to time telling you they miss you etc. Do these texts have to be so involved? My boyfriend and I broke up in January and were on and off for a while. We got back together for a couple of weeks towards the end of January and he ended things with me again saying that he just didn't trust me yet. We hooked up a couple times after this and were still sleeping in the same bed even though I had my own bed in the room. About 3 weeks later in early march his friend introduced him to this guy shes friends with. They've now been dating for almost 2 months. Its probably just a rebound as my boyfriend and I dated for over 2 years. I couldn't stand living with him anymore as it was breaking my heart so I finally told him i was moving out. He was pretty upset. I moved out and he also ended up moving out and in with his dad. We barely spoke the next week but he would send me like one txt a day for the next week. We finally agreed to drink and hang out. Bad idea. The new guy hes seeing called him and left him a voicemail. They talked for about 30 minutes and i got upset and cried and he told me that he never meant for any of this to happen. I told him the next day that i thought it would be best if we didnt talk for a while and he was upset and told me he was losing his best friend. He finally dropped things and I left and didn't hear from him the next day. The day after that he text me about something that really wasn't any of his concern and I've gotten at least one text a day just about stupid stuff like a tv show we watch together or that he has a job interview. He also sends the same text to a mutual friend of ours. Would these be considered breadcrumb texts? I told him that we shouldn't talk for a while yet he still texts me almost every single day. Last night he sent both me and our mutual friend a text at like 930 on a friday night about how an actor from a movie was in a show that we both watch. Was that really necessary or are these breadcrumb text messages and hes reaching out to me to prevent me from moving on? I really feel like if he really did love me that he couldn't have moved on so quickly. I'm starting to get to the point where I don't even know if I want him back anyways. What do you guys think?
favoritepills Posted May 6, 2012 Posted May 6, 2012 Breadcrumbs, and lots of them. He's being selfish, wanting to keep you around for emotional support but not willing to commit all the way. I think it's mostly his ego talking, wanting to be sure he can still have your attention if he wants it. I'd recommend ignoring him and going NC, for his and your own sake. Ridding yourself of all these distractions will give you a better idea of how you really feel about him.
Author Confusedguy1988 Posted May 7, 2012 Author Posted May 7, 2012 And what if how I really feel for him is that I'm still in love with him and want him back? Hes been dating this guy for a couple months now. Its not going to be easy to get him back.
Author Confusedguy1988 Posted May 14, 2012 Author Posted May 14, 2012 Minor update. So after "initiating nc" as mentioned in my last post my ex was still texting me almost every day about useless things for about 2 weeks. Finally last week he txt me and ask me if I wanted to meet him at our apartment so we could divide kitchen stuff. (Most of it is his and its pretty obvious what is mine no reason to meet up about it.) We both moved back home but I had a friend visiting the area so I decided to have some over at our old apartment. I told him that I would probably be in the area of our apartment that friday night and that I could do it alone. He said he wanted to clean and so he would be coming as well. I showed up after work and he was already there, napping and woke up shortly after I arrived and we started hanging out. At first everything was going really well and we were getting along great. He wasn't on his phone all night txting his new guy and so I really thought we were gonna have a good night. He kept referring to me as his friend and roommate though which really started to irritate me and after a few drinks i finally snapped at him and said "We aren't friends....". This really upset him and though we still got a long for most of the night he kept bringing it up. Towards the end of the night one of my drunk friends randomly just blurted out "I really think you two could work things out. You guys are so good together". Everyone went silent and we kept playing our card game and shortly some people left and my ex decided to go to sleep too. I didn't want the night to end like this so i followed him to our room. I asked him why he insisted on calling and txting me after i asked him not to. And he made up some BS excuse that he was hoping that we could just be friends and that he doesn't want to lose me as his friend. I told him that I was sorry but that i had explained to him when we dated if we ever broke up I don't think i could handle seeing him with someone else. He reached out to give me a handshake and I was so angry and snapped..."we dated for over 2 years and we're saying a final goodbye and i get a handshake and said "it was nice knowing you"?.." He got up and said that he didn't think i would want one and i said i didn't but he got up and hugged me. Then he sort of broke down and said he was sorry. I asked him for what? He said he thought about what our friend had said earlier about us and he just feels terrible for everything and that he really thought we were gonna get married and have kids together. I broke down immediately in tears and asked him to sleep in a different room. He left. The next day i traded in our coin jar for cash and left it with a short note that basically said "I dunno if you remember last night at all, but I really just need space for a while. I hope this isn't forever but its what i need. I hope you're doing ok and I hope to hear from you sometime in the future. Take Care" Then I felt really terrible and had anxiety so i made a crazy move last night and hacked into his facebook and read their messages. My ex had posted a little meme about a video game coming out with the caption "Hey girls I'm here to steal your boyfriends" He wrote above it minus the girls part. There was also mentioning of them cuddling. They're clearly still going strong but I know i need to stop checking up on him and move on and let him make the next move.
TaraMaiden Posted May 14, 2012 Posted May 14, 2012 God.... so much drama... People protest that everything hurts, and they're in such pain, and they can't bear this.... but in truth, they just deliberately perpetuate the situation because the pain is somehow pleasurable... it keeps a connection, but in reality, it's unhealthy and destructive.... Just delete everything, block everything and just make every day an achievement in moving on.... You have to take this one day at a time, but you have to do it. For goodness' sake.... really....
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