cflowers32 Posted May 6, 2012 Posted May 6, 2012 This site was helpful for me. I was going through a rough moment and this place was so helpful. I wanted to say though, that I am glad that I listened to me, and how I felt. I appreciate EVERYONE who even told me NC!! "Don't call, don't answer, don't talk to him...", yadda, yadda, yadda... but I really am glad I didn't listen. Every relationship is different, every journey is different for every person, mine was hard, but ended how I wanted, and I am happy. I felt like even if I get a bashing, I still wanted to come back here and say that everything isn't necessarily an end. Maybe it's a lesson and a chance to grow in the relationship. But for me, I am glad that I chose NOT to close the door. My best to all of you, and to the owners of this site, I am keeping you all bookmarked. This site is great.
jennisfora Posted May 6, 2012 Posted May 6, 2012 so what happened, Caitlin? i've been wondering where you have been. *hugs*
Author cflowers32 Posted May 6, 2012 Author Posted May 6, 2012 I moved out, that meant it was over for him, he chose to move on, I went "what?", and then it all just unfolded how it was supposed to. Jenn, he cried every time I talked to him, I cried, I wasn't paying attention, and he didn't talk and communicate. I don't ever want to be without him. He's such a great guy!!! We both had a wake-up call, is the best way to explain it without getting into every detail. While everyone was telling me "NC", there was no way I was shutting that door. I have never met someone who has been more perfect for me, and I MOVED OUT OF OUR HOUSE, what was he to think? It took rethinking, and we are back, smarter, and we both know better now. I couldn't be more happy. I do know that while everyone may think there is a set of rules, they don't apply to everyone. We are all as different as our fingerprints, and so are the relationships we have, and not only with our "lovers" but friends, co-workers, family... How does any one rule fit all? I wish you the best. I always related to you and your story. *HUGS* 1
jennisfora Posted May 6, 2012 Posted May 6, 2012 i'm glad it worked out! i doubt anyone will bash you. he wasn't abusive to you, he just was doing what people try to do when relationships end, move on. and yeah, it makes sense that he would take you moving out as lack of interest, it makes sense now. when we are emotional it makes it harder to see the other person's POV. anyway, i am very happy for you. my ex has not come back, he told me again that he prefers being a lone wolf, is not dating, but does not wish to reconcile, and now does not think we can be friends because of what we had. so, i sent him a simple message saying that i will not be contacting him until i feel ready, that i have some things to think about, and to please not contact me. he flipped out, sent several texts, tried calling me, told me he was "infuriated". i dont know why it got him so upset, and i felt bad that he was so upset, but at the same time, it was an overly emotional reaction to a very short simple message. so, i think he was baiting me to reply, and so he could reply and say he wants NC. so, i think it was a childish last word thing. Days later he texted me "how long?" and that's where we are at, because i really dont know. i guess i will be ready when i no longer feel anxious/nervous everytime he tries to contact, or i wont feel so sad that he doesnt want to reconcile. might be a few months, might be never. i still miss him, and love him very much. but, who knows, i think he may be liking life without me less than he thought he would. but, i could be wrong, beauty of NC is i have no idea what is going on in his life. although i have been getting mystery phone calls, i kinda suspect him, but trying not to be paranoid. i would still be willing to reconcile, if it was something he wanted as well, but i am done trying to convince or sell the idea. 1
sweetheart5381 Posted May 6, 2012 Posted May 6, 2012 This site was helpful for me. I was going through a rough moment and this place was so helpful. I wanted to say though, that I am glad that I listened to me, and how I felt. I appreciate EVERYONE who even told me NC!! "Don't call, don't answer, don't talk to him...", yadda, yadda, yadda... but I really am glad I didn't listen. Every relationship is different, every journey is different for every person, mine was hard, but ended how I wanted, and I am happy. I felt like even if I get a bashing, I still wanted to come back here and say that everything isn't necessarily an end. Maybe it's a lesson and a chance to grow in the relationship. But for me, I am glad that I chose NOT to close the door. My best to all of you, and to the owners of this site, I am keeping you all bookmarked. This site is great. Glad that you are happy And yes, every relationship is different - different people with differing values systems. No 2 people have the same ideas about everything.. and it eventually wears on a relationship. When push comes to shove hopefully the 2 people can see that they are different and yet respect one another and even appreciate the differences. That's growth. I personally have not closed the door on my ex, and he has not closed the door on me. Time, space and caring will determine the end. We choose to be friends, respect one another, be attentive to one another even after all the harsh words. Lots of folks at LS will say that it's wrong to be "friends" but depending on circumstances, sometimes "friends" is right. All depends on circumstances. Don't worry bout "being bashed". There are lots of mature folks out there that understand All the best. T
Author cflowers32 Posted May 6, 2012 Author Posted May 6, 2012 That sounds "normal" in a way, but exactly how someone who cares should be considering that maybe the obvious is that maybe something isn't right???? I bet in some way you would love to know what is going on in his head... I do. Jenn, you're a strong girl, and I have really appreciated your strong dignity. You've carried yourself well girl. Again, my best to you. If it's not him, you deserve a great guy, as I think you're a catch yourself.
fucpcg Posted May 6, 2012 Posted May 6, 2012 It's beyond ridiculous all the people in here that think a breakup is a definitive sign you were in a relationship with the wrong person. NO relationship ever comes without ever having a fight, or times of turbulence. If you think when something goes wrong in a relationship the default response is move on and go NC, and think that the next relationship will be perfection, dream on. I watched a documentary a while back, about a woman who's husband was (imminently) dying from Lou Gehrig's Disease, and in interviewing the wife she said something that always stuck with me. The quote is "I was with my husband for 38 years, and 34 of those years were the best years of my life". Many in here love and use the expression "they call it a breakup because it's broken". My preferred expression is "where a bone breaks, it will heal back stronger". Best wishes to you both. 2
jennisfora Posted May 6, 2012 Posted May 6, 2012 i still wish for reconciliation, i just am no longer betting on it. thanks for stopping by, Caitlin. I always related to you too. *hugs*
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