viktorious11 Posted May 6, 2012 Posted May 6, 2012 Read: "I really think I screwed this one up," my earlier post- if you care for the juicy details. The situation is this: Im still madly in love with my wife- we decided we'd divorce 4 months ago simply because we both wanted each other to change- and it took her finding another man and moving on to realize that I was the one that needed to change. Too late, it seems. That was a week ago- since I found out and started profusely profession my love. She is unresponsive and only wants to be friends. I am depressed and heartbroken. What I'm doing now is showering her with "I'll do whatever it takes/ I love you / I miss you / I need you / we need you etc. she'll reply with a smiley face and that's that. I know she wants her family together- deep down- but I've been too much of a selfish/lazy/fat & happy hubby to convince her that I'm worth sticking around for. So- her new bf moves here at the end of summer and I can tell she is more or less in love with already. he was an ex bf of hers and claims they had "unfinished business." I'm still determined to prove to her that I'm the better man. But How on earth do I do that living apart? I want my family together at all costs- and I'm willing to put up with weeks/months/years of heartache just to get her back. I want to just fall out of live with her- but I can't. she's just too pretty, warm, and loving. I want her forever- but she has lost hope. So... lots of questions here: -How do I SHOW her I love her when we are living apart? -Should I keep reminder her how much I love her everyday or give her space? -I want to text her new man and tell him "plz back off- I want my family back.." bad idea? -Or do I just try falling out of love with her- considering it's gonna KILL me to see her every 3 days as she is happy w new man..?
tojaz Posted May 6, 2012 Posted May 6, 2012 So... lots of questions here: -How do I SHOW her I love her when we are living apart? -Should I keep reminder her how much I love her everyday or give her space? -I want to text her new man and tell him "plz back off- I want my family back.." bad idea? -Or do I just try falling out of love with her- considering it's gonna KILL me to see her every 3 days as she is happy w new man..? -You can't show her anything shes not ready to see, -you can't remind her what she doesn't want to hear. -bad idea! -Love doesn't work that way. Give her space, give her time, and start reading http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/separation-divorce/320488-story-fool TOJAZ 1
Author viktorious11 Posted May 7, 2012 Author Posted May 7, 2012 Thx Tojaz! I've gotta say- a few days have gone by, and I feel great. My best advice to anyone heartbroken reading this- Surround yourself with family and just stay active. Reach out to an old cousin- Uncle- anyone from childhood. it'll be super- comforting. I'm still gonna fight for my wife and for my family- no matter the embarrassment or heartache. But I'm gonna go in with the mentality that I will be perfectly fine if she so chooses not to come back. Sure, I'll always have that void of my first love- but I will find somebody else who will love me for the man I am. Better yet- I will learn to be okay with just myself- which at age 27 I can't say I am just yet. Cheers to all of you out here supporting one another! We all know how much it helps when your in the dumps!!! -Viktorious
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