Men have so many options and I'm sick of it!*

[NYC-BigKat]

No, your problem is not that you had to date a loser boy, because the good men are scarce. Your problem is that you went for the womanizer and that you don't have the self-confidence to manage guys like him.

 

Yea its like girls dont believe a good guy is really good but he is if u just give him a chance to see. Its kinda like girls prefer a guy that is bad cuz she expects it & then tries to change him but it never works out. girls will always have more options than guys cuz u do the choosing not us.

[kaylan]

Then how do you explain my ex? I sent you his picture... does he look like he's in the top 5%?

 

No. It isn't about a "good personality"... it's about charisma and confidence.

Also realize that some men arent always truthful about their supposed success with women.

[threebyfate]

3. I dont think dating is as bad for men as guys on this forum would lead you to believe. You have to realize why this forum exists and then recognize that this place will attract a lot of negative viewpoints on dating from men and women. Ive had my jaded periods, but Ive been fine lately.

Dating isn't as bad for either gender as people would lead you to believe on this site. It's fear of being hurt through rejection or in the longer term that leads people to self-protect to the degree that many whine about the dating process without putting in the effort to meet people.

 

But...I will say that for the dating challenged, the online medium of dating sites aren't worth the free price of admission.

 

Dating sites appear to be focused on the superficial and numbers games. If you can't get a date outside of this medium, you're not going to have much success in an even greater superficial medium of catalogue shopping for partners.

[gibson]

Why do i then know of bitter,low confidence guy who blow funny, outgoing guys away with getting women?

 

It has all to do with looks!

 

We all know girls are shallow about looks....you don´t need to lie anymore

 

If you choose to be superficial and think everyone else is superficial... enjoy it and quit complaining.

 

In your world, people don't date and are not married unless they are a model with six pack abs.

 

In the real world, when I am out on dates, I see a lot of other people out on dates and a majority of them are not models and do not possess six pack abs. Not to mention, all the married couples out there.

[Stupid Girl]

Why do i then know of bitter,low confidence guy who blow funny, outgoing guys away with getting women?

 

It has all to do with looks!

 

We all know girls are shallow about looks....you don´t need to lie anymore

Uhhhh what? This post doesn't even make sense. Why would a good-looking guy who has success with women be bitter and insecure over not being able to get a woman?

[somedude81]

Honestly the majority of both genders focus on a small percentage of the opposite gender. We all want what is in demand. I get sick of the whole who has it worse. Damn we all got challenges. Instead of complaining about who has most options men and women should be realizing that no one would have options if no one was willing to be their option.

IMO, all types of women are in demand.

 

Party girls, sporty girls, gamers etc.

 

The only ones that aren't really are the man haters

[udolipixie]

IMO, all types of women are in demand.

 

Party girls, sporty girls, gamers etc.

 

The only ones that aren't really are the man haters

 

I think the type of demand that most users of the thread are talking about is attractiveness and what level not what type of person.

 

A similiar thing of all types being in demand applies to guys as well with the ones that aren't really in demand being those that have nothing to little to offer other than niceness. From my experiences misogynists don't seem to have an issue as it seems most gals expect a guy to have some level of hatred towards gals.

[ThaWholigan]

I think the type of demand that most users of the thread are talking about is attractiveness and what level not what type of person.

 

A similiar thing of all types being in demand applies to guys as well with the ones that aren't really in demand being those that have nothing to little to offer other than niceness. From my experiences misogynists don't seem to have an issue as it seems most gals expect a guy to have some level of hatred towards gals.

 

They expect what??

[udolipixie]

They expect what??

From my experiences/observations of gals and gals in my country that's what it seems to be.

 

To me it's not an unsurprising expectation for some gals to have considering how many anti-feminists, MRAs, anti-American gal, and anti-marriage guys tout such hatred and rationalize it as a general truth or fact. To me american gals are trash foreign gals are better, gals are useless, gals are essentially prostitutes, gals are golddigers, gals can't love, gals are users, etc seem pretty common attitudes in many guys. There's even a quite considerable amount of marketing for such mindsets.

[ThaWholigan]

From my experiences/observations of gals and gals in my country that's what it seems to be.

 

To me it's not an unsurprising expectation for some gals to have considering how many anti-feminists, MRAs, anti-American gal, and anti-marriage guys tout such hatred and rationalize it as a general truth or fact. To me american gals are trash foreign gals are better, gals are useless, gals are essentially prostitutes, gals are golddigers, gals can't love, gals are users, etc seem pretty common attitudes in many guys. There's even a quite considerable amount of marketing for such mindsets.

lol "gals" .

 

It's not that common IMO. But I guess that's just down to different experiences and environments. WHere I am from, there are quite a few guys who let women really take the piss out of them. And there are instances of the opposite, but I would say it's pretty equal both ways.

 

I can honestly say that I have never ever met an MRA. I've probably met a few feminists though, and if they actually were, they were all pretty cool to be honest. I don't know a man who has that kind of view with the exception of very few who generally have a poor view of society in general.

[Negative Nancy]

IMO, all types of women are in demand.

 

Party girls, sporty girls, gamers etc.

 

the types of women that are in demand are the attractive ones.

 

let's not pretend that plain jane at the party, fat farrah at the games convention or ugly betty in the gym would be in high demand.

[udolipixie]

lol "gals" .

 

It's not that common IMO. But I guess that's just down to different experiences and environments. WHere I am from, there are quite a few guys who let women really take the piss out of them. And there are instances of the opposite, but I would say it's pretty equal both ways.

 

I can honestly say that I have never ever met an MRA. I've probably met a few feminists though, and if they actually were, they were all pretty cool to be honest. I don't know a man who has that kind of view with the exception of very few who generally have a poor view of society in general.

 

Definitely different experiences and environments. Mine have been that it's pretty equal on mistreatment and taking advantage however there's a huge difference in hateful, bitter, and negative attitudes with guys leading the way.

 

I've met some MRAs though to me even the most radical ones have nothing on what seems to be the average TFL (true forced loneliness), forced celibacy guys, and self proclaimed nice guy view of and attitudes towards gals. I've met many guys who while they do't identify as an MRA, TFL, or forced celibacy guy they agree with all or most of the radical's ideas.

 

I know guys/gals with misgynostic views, guys/gals with misandristic views, and guys/gals with misanthropic views. People tend to entertain and amuse me and I usually have a short attention span so I know and meet a lot.

[somedude81]

I think the type of demand that most users of the thread are talking about is attractiveness and what level not what type of person.

 

A similiar thing of all types being in demand applies to guys as well with the ones that aren't really in demand being those that have nothing to little to offer other than niceness. From my experiences misogynists don't seem to have an issue as it seems most gals expect a guy to have some level of hatred towards gals.

And what do girls actually want offered to them?

 

Based on some descriptions of the guys that do well with women, I don't have a clue what women actually want.

the types of women that are in demand are the attractive ones.

 

let's not pretend that plain jane at the party, fat farrah at the games convention or ugly betty in the gym would be in high demand.

Plain Jane's are fine.

 

Girls want fat and ugly people just as much as guys do. Lets not pretend otherwise OK.

[udolipixie]

And what do girls actually want offered to them?

Generally gals want the same things that most no matter the gender or sexual orientation want- someone who is attractive, interesting, fun to be around, sexually compatible, romatically compatible, and a contributor not a liability/burden.

 

What is attractive, interesting, and etc depends on the gal.

 

Based on some descriptions of the guys that do well with women, I don't have a clue what women actually want.

Different guys do well with gals because not all gals like the same things so those same guys may not do well with different gals.

 

Perhaps..?...you have no clue because you view gals as a hive mind who operate like a pocket pussy who will dole out sex/relationships when this & that is done. So you're clueless when different gals want different things because you're thinking of this & that some set of operations that work on all/most gals.

[MrNate 2.0]

This has got to be one of the most depressing threads of 2012.

[Woggle]

It seems most people these days have at least some level of bitterness towards the opposite sex and that is both genders.

[gibson]

It seems most people these days have at least some level of bitterness towards the opposite sex and that is both genders.

 

1. They take dating way to serious

 

2. They don't date for it intended purposes (for fun or when they are ready to settle down, see if this is somebody they want a future with)

 

3. They are allowed to not be attracted to someone or not want to date someone but nobody else on the planet is allowed to do it too them.

 

4. They think a break up / end of relationship is a bad thing. It's not, it's a success.

 

5. Only they are allowed to break up / end a relationship and nobody should / could / would break up / end a relationship with them unless they have permission.

 

6. Etc, Etc, Etc.

 

Basically a lot of people with low self-esteem who can't handle rejection because they think it's a reflection of who they are, what they have to offer, their self-worth, etc.

[joystickd]

Misogynist misandry feminist MRA get used to loosely around this forum.

[SmileFace]

1. They take dating way to serious

 

2. They don't date for it intended purposes (for fun or when they are ready to settle down, see if this is somebody they want a future with)

 

3. They are allowed to not be attracted to someone or not want to date someone but nobody else on the planet is allowed to do it too them.

 

4. They think a break up / end of relationship is a bad thing. It's not, it's a success.

 

5. Only they are allowed to break up / end a relationship and nobody should / could / would break up / end a relationship with them unless they have permission.

 

6. Etc, Etc, Etc.

 

Basically a lot of people with low self-esteem who can't handle rejection because they think it's a reflection of who they are, what they have to offer, their self-worth, etc.

This should be a pinned post, haha

[NYC-BigKat]

1. They take dating way to serious

 

2. They don't date for it intended purposes (for fun or when they are ready to settle down, see if this is somebody they want a future with)

 

3. They are allowed to not be attracted to someone or not want to date someone but nobody else on the planet is allowed to do it too them.

 

4. They think a break up / end of relationship is a bad thing. It's not, it's a success.

 

5. Only they are allowed to break up / end a relationship and nobody should / could / would break up / end a relationship with them unless they have permission.

 

6. Etc, Etc, Etc.

 

Basically a lot of people with low self-esteem who can't handle rejection because they think it's a reflection of who they are, what they have to offer, their self-worth, etc.

 

Getting rejected does feel like theres something wrong with me 'cause it keeps happening all the time. I'm nice with almost no options. What to do I have no clue.

[iris219]

And this is what my homeless, alcoholic boyfriend who became my fiancé in three months and then my husband that year had going for him.

 

If "nice" guys learned to listen, emote and close the deal, they'd be in more relationships.

 

Seriously, when I was younger I NEVER understood why a man would be single. They didn't need to have "perfect figures" or not be a spaz. They just need to show up and ask a few of the right questions and not be unbelievably ignorant. Then they'd get dates.

 

If they were that one guy at the club, they'd ask every girl to dance, regardless of how she looked, then every girl there would want to dance with them. He'd talk to every girl, just to get to know her and introduce himself a little.

 

Jeez, do what gay men do.... Listen, understand, talk about sex.

 

So many women fall in live with their gay friends.

 

This is important info, guys. Study it.

 

I am far far far away from being some loser who sits on his ass wanking over world of warcraft porn all day long.

 

I am not looking for some 9/10 looking female. i think i am in the gray arena 6-7 looking.

 

So i aim for 6-8 looking girls.

 

But the problem is MOST of them will not give the average guys any time, they are getting pumped and dumped by better looking guys and they wonder why they won't commit.

 

The good looking guys even don´t need to try women flock to them and drop their pants instantly.

 

Ha! This made me laugh because it proved my point. You generally go for girls better looking than you. I'm a solid 8 and consistently go for guys who are 4-6. Looks aren't that important to many women. Being attracted to a man is, and that develops in ways beyond the physical.

[threebyfate]

1. They take dating way to serious

 

2. They don't date for it intended purposes (for fun or when they are ready to settle down, see if this is somebody they want a future with)

 

3. They are allowed to not be attracted to someone or not want to date someone but nobody else on the planet is allowed to do it too them.

 

4. They think a break up / end of relationship is a bad thing. It's not, it's a success.

 

5. Only they are allowed to break up / end a relationship and nobody should / could / would break up / end a relationship with them unless they have permission.

 

6. Etc, Etc, Etc.

 

Basically a lot of people with low self-esteem who can't handle rejection because they think it's a reflection of who they are, what they have to offer, their self-worth, etc.

Pin this to your fridge, everyone who's dating challenged!!

[verhrzn]

No, your problem is not that you had to date a loser boy, because the good men are scarce. Your problem is that you went for the womanizer and that you don't have the self-confidence to manage guys like him.

 

Except womanizers and losers are all that exist for girls like me. Sure, if you're an amazing hot woman who went to Harvard and is pulling down a six figure salary, you don't have to wade around in junk, you can get the man you want.

 

But if you're ugly, with an average personality, the bottom of the barrel is all you're gonna get.

 

Again, please explain how I am supposed to simultaneously catch a "better man" AND "lower my standards" because they're too high.

[iris219]

Again, please explain how I am supposed to simultaneously catch a "better man" AND "lower my standards" because they're too high.

 

I think this means date married men. They're great guys, there's only one little problem.

 

Now that's both lowering your standards and finding better men!

[xxoo]

Except womanizers and losers are all that exist for girls like me. Sure, if you're an amazing hot woman who went to Harvard and is pulling down a six figure salary, you don't have to wade around in junk, you can get the man you want.

 

I know some gorgeous, high earning women who wade in the junk. They could do better, but their personal issues prevent them from identifying a good man (and/or they are just hopelessly attracted to the junk).

 

And there are plenty of average women with great men/marriages.

 

Appearances and professional success say little about relationship skills.