Men have so many options and I'm sick of it!*

[somedude81]

After more reading, apparently single women under 40 don't exist.

 

Now I'm just really confused.

[verhrzn]

You just confirmed what I said all along - you date the wrong men and it's not surprising that they don't treat you well. You always make it sound as if you date nice, nerdy guys and it's not understandable why they suddenly turn around and lose interest in you. But any woman who has a little bit of common sense wouldn't have dated a guy like him.

 

Well I didn't realize some of these things about him until I got to know him better.

 

But here's the tricky thing... you say date better men. But as Iris is demonstrating, better men are in very diminishing supply. If there were better men, "loser" men wouldn't have all of these options. They have all of these options because:

 

1) there are far more loser men than there are better men

2) the better men are mostly taken (all of the awesome guys I'm friends with, are engaged/married)

3) women are socializing to "settle" in relationships. I mean, in nearly every thread I start, some poster is telling me the issue is I have "too high of standards" for guys

 

So how can it possibly be that I'm running into this same problem because I am both "settling" for loser men AND having too high of standards??

 

Lastly, loser guys are the only one who would give me a chance. Better men don't want me, because they can have their pick of women. So what then?

 

PS: The problem is not my location. I live in a large Midwest city that supposedly has a plethora of single men. But where the heck are they?? They're not at book stores, or volunteering events, or the grocery store, or bars; whenever I see guys, they are with other women. If you're gonna move, Iris, I don't suggest anywhere in the Midwest. (Chicago is skewed female, Madison is a college-kid town, and Milwaukee is... Milwaukee.)

[RedRobin]

You really don't know, do you? The reason the singles map looks like it favors men is cause they are including the elderly. Old women outnumber old men big time. And if you looked at the young you'd see that there are more men than there are women and this has been going on for the past 20 years. So if you are young odds are you won't be getting that hot chick cause she has way more options than you ever will.

 

Good to know, since I'm a woman and I'm straight.

 

Woo-hoo!! This does explain why those young'ins are going for me. It jokes around about the demographics being cougar-ville.

 

I'm no cougar, but I'm not hatin' the numbers.... at least in some parts of the country.

[verhrzn]

This thread is demonstrating to me that there ARE a plethora of single men my age, they're just all sitting at their computers whining about how they can't get a hot woman to materialize in their living room because she's too busy paying attention to the guy who is actually trying.

 

God this forum is depressing.

[persevere]

This thread is demonstrating to me that there ARE a plethora of single men my age, they're just all sitting at their computers whining about how they can't get a hot woman to materialize in their living room because she's too busy paying attention to the guy who is actually trying.

 

God this forum is depressing.

 

Lol. Well, it's not that bad.

I put on my dating uniform and hit the bars in the past week, solo. I am thinking of transitioning away from OLD. It was nice to talk to women face to face. I figure it'd be better trying to talk to 30 women, one on one, over time rather than send out 30 OLD messages into the void...

[verhrzn]

Simply not true. The majority of hot girls are taken by hot guys or rich guys or douche bags. Cause that's what women want.

 

Yeah... cause they're hot. Hot women = hot men. See how that works?

 

However, there are tons of average/ugly women sitting out here feeling alone and ignored. Our only options are to go for the hot and/or loser guys... because those are the only guys out in public, trying for women.

 

So you continue sitting in your living room bemoaning that a hot girl hasn't banged down your door. I'm sure that will work out great for you. Me, my only option is apparently to continue dating loser guys, or die alone. At least YOU have some power in the situation.

[Stupid Girl]

Women are mala fide creatures compared to men.

With a bigoted and sexist attitude like that, how do you ever expect to get a woman? Especially a hot one like you somehow think you deserve?

[jlola]

Women love "bad boys". Men love "crazy chicks". They give you a good roller coaster ride emotionally which most people mistake for love. Then complain about the "nice ones" because they are too boring.

 

Perhaps we should concentrate on dating people who are emotionally mature. But that only happens when we ourselves grow up and realize we do not need fixer uppers or accept mediocre .

 

Sorry, I have to say the women who talk about not caring how a man looks really need to wonder why that is. Because so many women years later end up cheating on the man. Excuse" I am not attracted to him and never really was". Find a man who is mature and who you find physically attractive. One without the other is a recipe for disaster. Why do so many women do this?

[verhrzn]

That is not the full truth. While I believe most women are set out to harm, I think that fewer than a percentage point are actually good women. And I look hard for them. And yes these good woman are not only nice but hot.

 

You've pretty much just confirmed the original point of this thread that average guys are only interested in a tiny percentage of women, even though they themselves don't have the equivalent to offer. Thus, leaving all the rest of us nice, "unattractive" women out in the cold, or forced to date "loser" men.

 

And yet guys claim the majority of women have high standards. How ridiculous.

[verhrzn]

Women love "bad boys". Men love "crazy chicks". They give you a good roller coaster ride emotionally which most people mistake for love. Then complain about the "nice ones" because they are too boring.

 

Perhaps we should concentrate on dating people who are emotionally mature. But that only happens when we ourselves grow up and realize we do not need fixer uppers or accept mediocre .

 

Sorry, I have to say the women who talk about not caring how a man looks really need to wonder why that is. Because so many women years later end up cheating on the man. Excuse" I am not attracted to him and never really was". Find a man who is mature and who you find physically attractive. One without the other is a recipe for disaster. Why do so many women do this?

 

Because we're told we should settle. Because we're told that women aren't allowed to be shallow and be concerned about a man's looks. Because we're told we don't "deserve" a man we're physically attracted to, because we ourselves aren't hot enough (and even when we're hot enough, we're judged for not being attracted to the "average" man.)

 

Check out how many posts there are on this board from guys INCENSED that women have height or attractiveness standards. Some guys even claim that hot men have "harems." Yep, apparently wanting an attractive man means you're a slut who will only sleep with 5% of men.

 

I'm constantly getting told that my standards are simultaneously too high and that I should stop going for loser guys. It's deeply confusing and frustrating.

[Necromancer]

This thread is demonstrating to me that there ARE a plethora of single men my age, they're just all sitting at their computers whining about how they can't get a hot woman to materialize in their living room because she's too busy paying attention to the guy who is actually trying.

 

God this forum is depressing.

 

I am far far far away from being some loser who sits on his ass wanking over world of warcraft porn all day long.

 

I am not looking for some 9/10 looking female. i think i am in the gray arena 6-7 looking.

 

So i aim for 6-8 looking girls.

 

But the problem is MOST of them will not give the average guys any time, they are getting pumped and dumped by better looking guys and they wonder why they won't commit.

 

The good looking guys even don´t need to try women flock to them and drop their pants instantly.

[verhrzn]

I am far far far away from being some loser who sits on his ass wanking over world of warcraft porn all day long.

 

I am not looking for some 9/10 looking female. i think i am in the gray arena 6-7 looking.

 

So i aim for 6-8 looking girls.

 

But the problem is MOST of them will not give the average guys any time, they are getting pumped and dumped by better looking guys and they wonder why they won't commit.

 

The good looking guys even don´t need to try women flock to them and drop their pants instantly.

 

I sent you a PM with a picture of the ex I mentioned. Does he look like a male model the way you claim? I'd slate him as a 6.5 or 7, and yet he's constantly nailing hot chicks.

 

But I see you've ignored my PM because it would shatter your delusion that in order to get girls, all you need to do is try. My guess is you tell yourself the girls are 6-8, when really they ARE 9-10's. How exactly do you "go" for them? Do you walk up to them, and talk to them as if they're human beings? Are you charming, or creepy?

 

Right there is how you score girls. It has nothing to do with your looks.

[ThaWholigan]

this thread makes me laugh. I am glad I do not have as bleak an outlook on things.

 

The way I see it, people who simply accept their character and their looks regardless of whether they are good or bad, are the ones who have options. It's easy to be charming and charismatic once you do this.

[verhrzn]

this thread makes me laugh. I am glad I do not have as bleak an outlook on things.

 

The way I see it, people who simply accept their character and their looks regardless of whether they are good or bad, are the ones who have options. It's easy to be charming and charismatic once you do this.

 

Accepting my looks and my character would mean accepting that I'm doomed to eternal single-hood. But yeah, I guess you're right that that's a better option than continuing to get dumped by average guys for hotter women.

 

Is it bleak, or it is just realistic?

[Woggle]

Accepting my looks and my character would mean accepting that I'm doomed to eternal single-hood. But yeah, I guess you're right that that's a better option than continuing to get dumped by average guys for hotter women.

 

Is it bleak, or it is just realistic?

 

You are not doomed to enternal single hood. You look good and all you have to change is the anti-male attitude.

[PJKino]

I sent you a PM with a picture of the ex I mentioned. Does he look like a male model the way you claim? I'd slate him as a 6.5 or 7, and yet he's constantly nailing hot chicks.

 

But I see you've ignored my PM because it would shatter your delusion that in order to get girls, all you need to do is try. My guess is you tell yourself the girls are 6-8, when really they ARE 9-10's. How exactly do you "go" for them? Do you walk up to them, and talk to them as if they're human beings? Are you charming, or creepy?

 

Right there is how you score girls. It has nothing to do with your looks.

 

But you claim your ugly or average at best, so a 7 would still be above average and thus above your league in that case no?

[gibson]

While I believe most women are set out to harm

 

So let me get this straight...

 

Women only date men with the sole purpose of causing harm?!?!?!?!

 

1. Dating / being in a relationship is not a marriage.

 

2. If someone doesn't like you or want to be with you any longer they are not evil, cruel, twisted or mean.

 

I think that fewer than a percentage point are actually good women.

 

You can't handle the fact that women are not attracted to you because you are angry, bitter and probably have low self esteem so you have to paint all women "black" so you feel better about yourself?

 

Based on my experience and all the other men I know, your stat is backwards.

 

And I look hard for them.

 

Where do you look hard for these women?

 

Apparently you go looking for women in the wrong places.

 

Try volunteering, church, community service projects, charity events, etc.

 

These type of things attract people that are giving, compassionate, selfless, etc.

 

Get involved and spend your time helping others out, making a difference in someone's life and being surrounded by quality men and women. After you do several of these things, come back and report your findings.

 

And yes these good woman are not only nice but hot.

 

You sound young and if you haven't figured it out most men / women from the ages of 16 - 25 are just "kicking tires" and trying to figure out who they are, what they want and dating around / having fun before they decide they are ready to settle down.

 

I suggest you try doing the same or go meet women at some of the places I suggested above.

 

My friends and I have dated, been in relationships with and some have even married amazing, quality, HOT women.

 

My advice...

 

1. You are the common denominator in your problem. Quit blaming all women.

2. Lose the anger and bitterness.

3. Make yourself a more attractive person (inside and out).

4. Wherever you are meeting women, it isn't working for you. So try the things that I suggested above.

[ThaWholigan]

Accepting my looks and my character would mean accepting that I'm doomed to eternal single-hood. But yeah, I guess you're right that that's a better option than continuing to get dumped by average guys for hotter women.

 

Is it bleak, or it is just realistic?

 

okay......

 

Well, whatever your reason for self-acceptance is, it will probably result in much more serenity, although accepting the belief that you will always be alone alongside it is not very productive. Much worse the fact that spending some time alone = doom.

 

It's very bleak to look at things the way you do. Not realistic at all in my opinion.

[ThaWholigan]

And yet women are only interested in a tiny percentage of men. What is your point? I am not generalizing like women do. I know that that the women I look for are the only women I AM interested in. I don' know about other men or care for them.

What is all this "tiny percentage" talk??

 

Tell that to the butters guys with no money dating the hot girls. Or the fat girls with good looking boyfriends. Or the plain couple who don't stand out. I've seen every combo imaginable, and then some. It's not uncommon either to see. I've seen neither men nor women generalize too much, and the only ones who do are the ones who have socialized themselves to do so.

[Stupid Girl]

You can't handle the fact that women are not attracted to you because you are angry, bitter and probably have low self esteem so you have to paint all women "black" so you feel better about yourself?

Head, hit by nail.

 

dreamerisland, you should probably print this off and frame it on your wall. You'll never become successful until you recognize your problems.

[joystickd]

And yet women are only interested in a tiny percentage of men. What is your point? I am not generalizing like women do. I know that that the women I look for are the only women I AM interested in. I don' know about other men or care for them.

Honestly the majority of both genders focus on a small percentage of the opposite gender. We all want what is in demand. I get sick of the whole who has it worse. Damn we all got challenges. Instead of complaining about who has most options men and women should be realizing that no one would have options if no one was willing to be their option.

[PlumPrincess]

Well I didn't realize some of these things about him until I got to know him better.

 

But here's the tricky thing... you say date better men. But as Iris is demonstrating, better men are in very diminishing supply. If there were better men, "loser" men wouldn't have all of these options. They have all of these options because:

 

1) there are far more loser men than there are better men

2) the better men are mostly taken (all of the awesome guys I'm friends with, are engaged/married)

3) women are socializing to "settle" in relationships. I mean, in nearly every thread I start, some poster is telling me the issue is I have "too high of standards" for guys

 

So how can it possibly be that I'm running into this same problem because I am both "settling" for loser men AND having too high of standards??

 

Lastly, loser guys are the only one who would give me a chance. Better men don't want me, because they can have their pick of women. So what then?

 

PS: The problem is not my location. I live in a large Midwest city that supposedly has a plethora of single men. But where the heck are they?? They're not at book stores, or volunteering events, or the grocery store, or bars; whenever I see guys, they are with other women. If you're gonna move, Iris, I don't suggest anywhere in the Midwest. (Chicago is skewed female, Madison is a college-kid town, and Milwaukee is... Milwaukee.)

No, your problem is not that you had to date a loser boy, because the good men are scarce. Your problem is that you went for the womanizer and that you don't have the self-confidence to manage guys like him.

[Necromancer]

I sent you a PM with a picture of the ex I mentioned. Does he look like a male model the way you claim? I'd slate him as a 6.5 or 7, and yet he's constantly nailing hot chicks.

 

But I see you've ignored my PM because it would shatter your delusion that in order to get girls, all you need to do is try. My guess is you tell yourself the girls are 6-8, when really they ARE 9-10's. How exactly do you "go" for them? Do you walk up to them, and talk to them as if they're human beings? Are you charming, or creepy?

 

Right there is how you score girls. It has nothing to do with your looks.

 

No he doesn't look like a male model, but he would never ever nail hot chicks in my country.

 

I have far from high standards, my male and female friends have some times laugh at me because of it. (the girls i find hot they find average/ugly).

 

I get all the time called funny by girls but few times creepy.

 

Nothing to do with looks? i have been rejected like 12 times in a row now.

 

While all my better looking friends are getting girls i am getting rejected while i am even funnier than them.

[kaylan]

The men I know have women lined up. These women have taken a number and are waiting around, hoping he'll choose them. He has so many options, he never has to settle down because he can get easy sex anytime.

 

The last guy I dated is a drug addict, with a crappy job, who lives like a frat boy at 38. He's a tiny bit above average looking, maybe a 6 in VERY low light. Women love him. And I mean hot, successful women. He told me every time he goes out women are like piranhas. He's beating them off with a stick. One of our mutual friends confirmed how much women love him.

 

I have a friend who's unemployed, a smoker (pot and cigarettes), very average looking (I'm being generous here), married (separated, though not legally), has two kids, and, again, women love him. He just started doing online dating and he hooks up with every woman on the first date or has to turn them down (because he isn't interested). These are attractive, professional women and they all want a relationship with him, but he's not interested.

 

I don't get it. Both guys could be described as charming initially, but they're losers. Maybe the above just pertains to men over 30.

 

I definitely can't relate to the men on LS who can't get dates because I never see this. I see women throwing themselves at the few available men, and these aren't quality guys. Every man I know is doing incredibly well. Dudes with holey t-shirts barely covering their beer bellies are getting cute girls (ok, that might have been hyperbole ). What the heck is going on in my town?

 

I can't find a man who wants a commitment because either he's already in a relationship, he has his pick of women, or he's horrible (and that's ok because some woman will want him), or a combination of the three. I'm so frustrated.

3 things OP.

 

1. In my experience, women are more willing to put up with losers when they are in their teens and 20s. I havent seen older women tolerate it really...so your town is different from what Ive seen and heard women do and say.

 

2. Maybe its possible that there are fewer single men in your area? And because of this maybe women lower their standards in an attempt to make sure they find someone as they get into their settling down years?

 

3. I dont think dating is as bad for men as guys on this forum would lead you to believe. You have to realize why this forum exists and then recognize that this place will attract a lot of negative viewpoints on dating from men and women. Ive had my jaded periods, but Ive been fine lately.

 

Im not actively dating so much, but Ive been going out with my friends and meeting and talking to women. I havent been doing horribly, and Id say im an average looking dude. If anything I make sure to dress very well and to stay fit. But I still acknowledge that I have an average face, albeit one some girls will find cute.

[Necromancer]

Head, hit by nail.

 

dreamerisland, you should probably print this off and frame it on your wall. You'll never become successful until you recognize your problems.

 

Why do i then know of bitter,low confidence guy who blow funny, outgoing guys away with getting women?

 

It has all to do with looks!

 

We all know girls are shallow about looks....you don´t need to lie anymore