Men have so many options and I'm sick of it!*

[verhrzn]

Because good guys actually listen to women when they say they don't like street harassment. The jerks ignore it and still approach women and I guess women actually like it despite what men have been told for the last couple of decades.

 

... Really, guys confuse "approaching women" and "street harassment"? They are really, really not the same thing.

[udolipixie]

Because good guys actually listen to women when they say they don't like street harassment. The jerks ignore it and still approach women and I guess women actually like it despite what men have been told for the last couple of decades.

 

Quite unsure of how listening to what gals say about not liking street harassment equate to not approaching gals. You can ignore or listen to gals disliking street harassment and approach gals. To me there's quite a different between approaching and street harassment though it's quite telling if the 'good guys' can't differentiate between the two but the 'jerks' can.

[Woggle]

... Really, guys confuse "approaching women" and "street harassment"? They are really, really not the same thing.

 

The lines are very blurred and what one woman considers approaching another will consider harrassment. I have heard women say that a man simply smiling at them is a form of rape.

[udolipixie]

The lines are very blurred and what one woman considers approaching another will consider harrassment. I have heard women say that a man simply smiling at them is a form of rape.

 

The lines are generally pretty clear- no touching unless the person says so. From my experiences 'keep your hands to yourseld' seems to be a basic rule taught to most when they are children. The blur seems to be on talking about sexual matters.

 

As for hearing gals say a guy simply smiling at them is a form of rape not unsurprising as rape is often triviliazed hence why it's so often excused, minimized, and blame shifted. Quite unsure of why a logical person would let a gal equating a smile to a form of rape deter them from approaching as they wouldn't be charged with rape or any form for smiling.

[iris219]

The thing is, these guys don’t seem like scumbags at first. And really they aren’t terrible people—they’re just too screwed up to have relationships.

 

What these guys have going for them is they actually listen and seem interested in what women have to say. They are fun, smart, outgoing, great conversationalists, and they seem concerned about others.

 

It’s only after they suck you in that you realize they have a drug problem, they have no interest in settling down, they live in squalor, they have no job, and/or are really selfish. I’m not talking about abusive men or smelly, toothless homeless guys here. I mean men who are not relationship material, but who seem to have so much potential. Unfortunately, they will never live up to it.

[verhrzn]

The lines are very blurred and what one woman considers approaching another will consider harrassment. I have heard women say that a man simply smiling at them is a form of rape.

 

.... Yeah, so those women are crazy. You complain that women are going for loser guys, but it sure sounds like men are listening only to crazy chicks.

 

Here's a question: how did you and your wife meet? Did you smile at her and she accused you of rape? Did she bust down your door and rip your clothes off while you sat on a forum complaining that you couldn't meet women in your living room?...

 

I'm gonna guess no. I'm gonna guess you two met at some social function, chatted, exchanged numbers, and then got to know each other. Here's a secret: that's all the jerky "loser" guys are doing as well. Talking to a girl in a social situation in a way that doesn't creep her out.

[mesmerized]

The lines are very blurred and what one woman considers approaching another will consider harrassment. I have heard women say that a man simply smiling at them is a form of rape.

 

I actually agree with you on this. A lot of women have a huge guard up so I understand why some men are hesitant to approach.

[TheBigQuestion]

... Really, guys confuse "approaching women" and "street harassment"? They are really, really not the same thing.

 

To many young women, most of whom self-identify as feminists, there really is NO difference between the two. Street harassment is defined however the individual woman wants it to be defined. And yes, the possibility of being accused of street harassment deters many men from approaching women in public locations nowadays.

[Shaun-Dro]

The thing is, these guys don’t seem like scumbags at first. And really they aren’t terrible people—they’re just too screwed up to have relationships.

 

What these guys have going for them is they actually listen and seem interested in what women have to say. They are fun, smart, outgoing, great conversationalists, and they seem concerned about others.

 

It’s only after they suck you in that you realize they have a drug problem, they have no interest in settling down, they live in squalor, they have no job, and/or are really selfish. I’m not talking about abusive men or smelly, toothless homeless guys here. I mean men who are not relationship material, but who seem to have so much potential. Unfortunately, they will never live up to it.

 

The problem with this post is that the men you described land straight in to the friend zone by being "fun, smart, outgoing, and showing concern for others" so understand that. If you said he was acting sleazy, sexy, funny, and smart in one package, then I know silly women will line up.

[coltsfan1]

I am not the best looking guy, I would give myself a solid 7. But I can say beyond a shadow of a doubt that confidence, attitude, style, and grouping/friend circle, goes a long way. I have very little trouble meeting and talking to woman, however finding a QUALITY lady to date is a totally different story.

 

I would send my pic for anyone to judge for themselves.

[Woggle]

.... Yeah, so those women are crazy. You complain that women are going for loser guys, but it sure sounds like men are listening only to crazy chicks.

 

Here's a question: how did you and your wife meet? Did you smile at her and she accused you of rape? Did she bust down your door and rip your clothes off while you sat on a forum complaining that you couldn't meet women in your living room?...

 

I'm gonna guess no. I'm gonna guess you two met at some social function, chatted, exchanged numbers, and then got to know each other. Here's a secret: that's all the jerky "loser" guys are doing as well. Talking to a girl in a social situation in a way that doesn't creep her out.

 

We met on the boardwalk sitting next to each other on a bench after the weekly fireworks display. I have approached many women and while some obviously were not interested I never got a nasty response except for one time when I was not actually trying to talk to her. I was trying to get the bartenders attention to order a drink.

 

I don't agree with this woman but my mother once said that she feels raped simply being in the presence of men and any time a man even tries to smile at her she tells him to drop dead.

[TheBigQuestion]

Also, to OP, "professional women" =/= "administrative assistants." I just hope when you say "professional women" you actually mean it, and aren't referring to secretaries who still work as bartenders at night. What bars said "professional women" from being low quality human beings?

 

Either way, your situation is something relatively unique to your area. There are rarely such imbalances in either direction. Don't take what you experience in your little corner of the world and impute it on the rest of mankind.

[iris219]

The problem with this post is that the men you described land straight in to the friend zone by being "fun, smart, outgoing, and showing concern for others" so understand that. If you said he was acting sleazy, sexy, funny, and smart in one package, then I know silly women will line up.

 

I described the kind of guy women want. That's why these guys do so well with women. I also want to make it clear that these guys are NOWHERE near hot. It's so disappointing when you meet someone who seems to have great qualities only to realize that the bad outweighs the good or that the good was only a facade.

[dasein]

A 6 looking guy will never in a 87654213546575453963425843643832482834232 years have a line of a hot/successful women drolling over him.....unless he´s really famous or rich.

 

Remember, women perceive 80% of men are below average, so a 6 in femspeak decodes into an 8+.

[xxoo]

I can't find a man who wants a commitment because either he's already in a relationship, he has his pick of women, or he's horrible (and that's ok because some woman will want him), or a combination of the three. I'm so frustrated.

 

When you meet and really connect with someone, it won't matter that he has his pick of women. He'll want you.

[verhrzn]

We met on the boardwalk sitting next to each other on a bench after the weekly fireworks display. I have approached many women and while some obviously were not interested I never got a nasty response except for one time when I was not actually trying to talk to her. I was trying to get the bartenders attention to order a drink.

 

I don't agree with this woman but my mother once said that she feels raped simply being in the presence of men and any time a man even tries to smile at her she tells him to drop dead.

 

But your own experiences have demonstrated that your mother, and other women who define "rape" in such ridiculous ways, are CRAZY.

 

You've approached women, and only got a negative response once. You randomly approached your wife. So obviously there are lots of women that DON'T see "approaching" as "street harassment." Why in the world are you arguing for something that is actually contradicted by your own experiences??

[Woggle]

But your own experiences have demonstrated that your mother, and other women who define "rape" in such ridiculous ways, are CRAZY.

 

You've approached women, and only got a negative response once. You randomly approached your wife. So obviously there are lots of women that DON'T see "approaching" as "street harassment." Why in the world are you arguing for something that is actually contradicted by your own experiences??

 

Because many women on the internet seem to agree with my mother. Maybe I need to stop going by what I read online.

[verhrzn]

When you meet and really connect with someone, it won't matter that he has his pick of women. He'll want you.

 

That's really romantic and all.... but that's a little too close to the "if he REALLY loves you, he'll change." It's also a little offensive to the women that came before her... so, what, all the other women were junk and not worth it because he didn't commit to them??

 

If a guy is a chronic commitment-phobe, the only way he'll change is if HE decided to do it, for himself. If a woman is the one compelling him to change it's never gonna stick, because honestly, no one is so special that they will change someone else's nature.

[iris219]

Remember, women perceive 80% of men are below average, so a 6 in femspeak decodes into an 8+.

 

I'm very lenient when it comes to appearance. Crooked teeth? I don't care. Balding? That's fine too. Beady eyes? Whatever. Big nose? Don't mind.

 

I still remember the time someone on here used Serge Gainsbourg, the french singer/songwriter, as an example of an unattractive guy, and I was very surprised. I think he's sexy as hell. Pretty boys are not my type.

 

Verhrzn, I'm thinking of sending you a pic of one of the guys I mentioned so you can give your opinion about his appearance.

[verhrzn]

Because many women on the internet seem to agree with my mother. Maybe I need to stop going by what I read online.

 

And I can find people online who argue that aliens are invading their eardrums. If you believe the Internet, you're gonna be believing some real nutty things.

 

If real life experiences directly conflicts with what the Internet says, you're probably better off going with real life.

[TheBigQuestion]

Why in the world are you arguing for something that is actually contradicted by your own experiences??

 

Probably because it still actually happens. I've never been unjustifiably accused of street harassment, but it happens. A woman doesn't need to go to the extreme of thinking a man's smile is rape, but trust me, many, MANY women have a completely hostile attitude towards being approached in public and consider it all "street harassment." Fortunately for men, these women are usually physically unattractive and have the stereotypical feminist/hyper-leftist look about them, and thus are easy to spot and avoid. A few don't fit the mold, however.

[verhrzn]

Probably because it still actually happens. I've never been unjustifiably accused of street harassment, but it happens. A woman doesn't need to go to the extreme of thinking a man's smile is rape, but trust me, many, MANY women have a completely hostile attitude towards being approached in public and consider it all "street harassment." Fortunately for men, these women are usually physically unattractive and have the stereotypical feminist/hyper-leftist look about them, and thus are easy to spot and avoid. A few don't fit the mold, however.

 

Wow, tons of offensive stereotypes thrown into one paragraph, I'm not sure where to start being offended.

 

Perhaps these women were hostile because they correctly guessed that you labeled them as, ya know, physically unattractive. Or "hyper-leftist," which I guess is something awful in your book. Maybe they got the impression that you saw yourself as above them, were judging them, or hitting on them out of desperation, and reacted in hostility to THAT, not your actual approach.

 

Or maybe you just came off as extra creepy. Here ya go, gentlemen, a bonafide article on how to avoid coming across like skin-lampshade-collector:

Don’t Be A Creeper | Paging Dr. NerdLove

[Million.to.1]

What is the ratio of men to woman in your town?

 

I live in a city where woman out number men by 1.8/1. That's almost 2 women for every 1 man.

I find amazing woman dating losers and great guys just go from relationship to relationship, and many awesome women are perpetually single. It's just a numbers game.

[TheBigQuestion]

Wow, tons of offensive stereotypes thrown into one paragraph, I'm not sure where to start being offended.

 

Perhaps these women were hostile because they correctly guessed that you labeled them as, ya know, physically unattractive. Or "hyper-leftist," which I guess is something awful in your book. Maybe they got the impression that you saw yourself as above them, were judging them, or hitting on them out of desperation, and reacted in hostility to THAT, not your actual approach.

 

Or maybe you just came off as extra creepy. Here ya go, gentlemen, a bonafide article on how to avoid coming across like skin-lampshade-collector:

Don’t Be A Creeper | Paging Dr. NerdLove

 

When you say "you," are you saying "you" in the general sense? Because I made it clear that I've never been accused of street harassment.

[mesmerized]

I'm very lenient when it comes to appearance. Crooked teeth? I don't care. Balding? That's fine too. Beady eyes? Whatever. Big nose? Don't mind.

 

You see why these guys have so many options? because women like you have no problem with their faults.