carhill Posted May 8, 2012 Posted May 8, 2012 I meet a fair amount of female shooters when my best friend and I go to the range a couple times a month. It's an outdoor range for peace officers and members and is pretty casual. A number of the ladies appear to have been single and there is the shared interest of guns and marksmanship. I think the point is trying interests (not necessarily guns) which could potentially be fun and also are venues to meet similarly situated young single males. When you're bending over a fender asking 'what does this thingamabob do?' you'd be surprised at the response 1
verhrzn Posted May 8, 2012 Posted May 8, 2012 I meet a fair amount of female shooters when my best friend and I go to the range a couple times a month. It's an outdoor range for peace officers and members and is pretty casual. A number of the ladies appear to have been single and there is the shared interest of guns and marksmanship. I think the point is trying interests (not necessarily guns) which could potentially be fun and also are venues to meet similarly situated young single males. When you're bending over a fender asking 'what does this thingamabob do?' you'd be surprised at the response Guess that's the problem, none of my interests line up with any of the interests that similarly situated single males have. (Is late 20's really young? I've made peace with the fact that by 30, I'm old and outta the game.)
Shaun-Dro Posted May 8, 2012 Posted May 8, 2012 Usually I start by talking in general to the group he's a part of. Usually at parties or large social meetings, small social pockets form. If I see a guy I think looks interesting, I insert myself into the group talk somehow. Then when he makes a comment, I try to respond to that or ask him a question. With any luck, it looks like this: Him: <Comment> Me: <Response> <Question> Him: <Response> <Question> Usually it doesn't get that far. The guy either ignores me, or makes a comment and then walks away. Once in a while, it'll lead to a conversation, but those always end in the guy pouring out his heart about how he's still hung up on his ex-gf, and how hot girls just don't pay any attention to him, or could I get my cute friend's number for him. About 5% of the time, the guy reacts in a hostile way to my comment, and we start arguing. Usually it's some variety about how he's better at something than I am, or how I'm not really into something like I claim I am. About 1% of the time they just moo at me. How bout you, Iris? Do you approach at all? I still didn't get any examples of what I asked. Not paying proper attention to what someone says can get annoying at times and cause someone to simply walk away from you. I've done it and will continue to do so. And another easy tip: stop approaching in groups and go at it one-on-one for a change. You may finally heed some success. [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][/FONT]
somedude81 Posted May 8, 2012 Posted May 8, 2012 Yeah, I've done swing and salsa. The class was mostly girls or established couples. I had to dance the guy part a few times because there were too many of us. There are a few "impromptu" salsa clubs in my city where no one speaks any English, but hey, maybe my standards really aren't that low. (New standard: be able to communicate in a common language.) Yeah, I'm not surprised that the classes was mostly women and couples. That's how it is when I take a dance class on campus. Though whenever I went to an actual Salsa club, men outnumbered women at least 3-1. Are any actual established clubs near you and not the impromptu ones?
NYC-BigKat Posted May 8, 2012 Posted May 8, 2012 And I have said this over and over again... where exactly ARE those guys that want relationships? Here are all the places I've looked for guys who want a serious relationship and found nothing: -online (I've tried OKCupid and Match for 6 months each and never been messaged) -bookstores -cooking classes -museum volunteering -soup kitchen volunteering -church (nothing but single women and couples) -book clubs -gaming groups (Pathfinder and Magic, primarily) And why is it so hard to understand that I dated him for BOTH reasons: that I know I can't get any better, AND because I liked him? Why are you obsessed with this idea that I'm only into players? Here's some very simple logic: I am into anyone who is into me. Did u really mean that? I'm a really nice guy & I struggle alot too. I have a few extra pds on me but no one is perfect & I would never cheat 'cause I dont believe in it nor could I 'cause I'm often never considered by girls to do it nope so would u gimme a shot? We can share pics.
Els Posted May 8, 2012 Posted May 8, 2012 Did u really mean that? I'm a really nice guy & I struggle alot too. I have a few extra pds on me but no one is perfect & I would never cheat 'cause I dont believe in it nor could I 'cause I'm often never considered by girls to do it nope so would u gimme a shot? We can share pics. Whoa, this is an interesting twist! 3
Scottdmw Posted May 8, 2012 Posted May 8, 2012 Bizarre, the differences in experiences. I've been to Lutheran and non-denominational ("mega churches") and the break downs are always young couples, families, or at the born-again churches, college kids. Not sure if regional explains it, I'm only a hop-skip state away from you. Maybe you should convert to Catholic! That's where I find all the men. . . . Best of luck with it. Scott
Shaun-Dro Posted May 8, 2012 Posted May 8, 2012 Yeah, I'm not surprised that the classes was mostly women and couples. That's how it is when I take a dance class on campus. Though whenever I went to an actual Salsa club, men outnumbered women at least 3-1. Are any actual established clubs near you and not the impromptu ones? I thought you said something about being in salsa class with a lot of hot and attractive women in there, but you could'nt get anything going, or did you even try as much? I'm curious so enlighten me on it.
somedude81 Posted May 8, 2012 Posted May 8, 2012 I thought you said something about being in salsa class with a lot of hot and attractive women in there, but you could'nt get anything going, or did you even try as much? I'm curious so enlighten me on it. Nope, I couldn't get anything going with them. It's the same story no matter where I go.
NYC-BigKat Posted May 8, 2012 Posted May 8, 2012 Nope, I couldn't get anything going with them. It's the same story no matter where I go. You'r not alone 'cause I'm suffering too. I'm 24 yrs old & still a virgin I'm a little scared to even try 'cause I prob wont be any good at it anyway so I wanna just make-out 'cause its easier but cant find a willing girl yet .
Feelsgoodman Posted May 8, 2012 Posted May 8, 2012 It's different experiences to me and I don't make any attempts to sound or be politically correct. So exactly how are we talking about the same thing but I'm phrasing it in an attempt to sound politically correct: Girls have no problem sleeping with guys they label jerks. Ever notice how girls like to complain about the jerk who is ignoring her after she has slept with him or some jerk who doesn't want to commit and prefers to keep things casual? Well, guess what? Women still sleep with these jerks. And these guys are jerky because women reward their jerky behavior. Becoming a jerk is the quickest route to having sex with many different women. To put it simply, being a jerk = success with women. How is it talking about the same thing when I'm saying generally the gal doesn't like the bad boy's attitude but she doesn't like the nice guy's attitude either but at the bad guy is attractive so she'll change him to be a happy median (or whatever she wants he lacks)? Basically, what you are saying that being a jerk carries no penalty as women will want you anyway and try to change you. I agree. The real question is, what is the rationale for NOT being a jerk towards women?
Feelsgoodman Posted May 8, 2012 Posted May 8, 2012 ... A shooting range?? Uh... what?... A shooting range would actually be a great place for meeting men. 90% of the attendees are male and you would get tons of a attention for being the token female no matter what you look like. 1
udolipixie Posted May 8, 2012 Posted May 8, 2012 (edited) Girls have no problem sleeping with guys they label jerks. How is it talking about the same thing when I'm saying generally the gal doesn't like the bad boy's attitude but she doesn't like the nice guy's attitude either but at the bad guy is attractive so she'll change him to be a happy median (or whatever she wants he lacks)? Basically, what you are saying that being a jerk carries no penalty as women will want you anyway and try to change you. I agree. The real question is, what is the rationale for NOT being a jerk towards women? I was stating for the gals that like bad guys they generally don't like the attitude but the guy so they generally try to change him. I wasn't basically stating that being a jerk carries no penalty as gals will want you anway and try to change you. I wasn't even talking about jerks as my statement was about about bad guys not jerks and again from my experiences most gals don't include jerk in their definition of a bad guy while most guys do. As for your misintrepretation of my statement as 'being a jerk carries no penalty as women will want you anyway and try to change you' sure some gals will want jerks and try change them. Being a jerk generally does carries penalities as people generally have a love/hate relationship with jerks and there are few actions in life that have zero negative consequences. As for you real question- to me the rationale for not being a jerk towards gals is whatever the guy thinks or feels is validating. As the rational for not being a bitch towards guys is whatever the gal thinks or feels is validating. I never stated, suggested, or implied gals have problems with sleeping with guys they label jerks so I'm a bit unsure why that's mentioned in response to how am I talking about the same thing but attempting to sound PC. I do notice gals complain when they are dating a jerk or bad boy with more jerkish qualities than decent ones. I even made a statement about it with there it being common that the gals complain and attempt to change the guy though that was about bad boys not jerks. To me it's a bit reality bending to apply gals sleep with jerks as the general case as some gals sleep with jerks, some sleep with bad boys, some sleep with nice guys, and some sleep with a mix. I highly doubt these guys are jerky because gals reward their jerky behavior. The guys are likely jerky because that's their nature and/or they're getting what they want so the mindset is why change when it's not broke. I know many bitches and most are that way because that's their nature and/or because they get what they want so they see no reason to change. From my experiences if a guy is average looking and has confidence and social skills without changing himself he can get sex with many different gals whether they're all or mostly gals he wants is a toss up. As for the success with gals my experiences show: Being a mix = success with most gals Being a bad guy = success with many gals Being a jerk = success with some gals Being a nice guy = success with few gals Edited May 8, 2012 by udolipixie
Feelsgoodman Posted May 9, 2012 Posted May 9, 2012 As for your misintrepretation of my statement as 'being a jerk carries no penalty as women will want you anyway and try to change you' sure some gals will want jerks and try change them. Being a jerk generally does carries penalities as people generally have a love/hate relationship with jerks and there are few actions in life that have zero negative consequences. Exactly. Guys who are nice and respectful are seen as boring and predictable while jerks are exciting because they take women on an emotional roller coaster ride (what you can a love/hate relationship). Only a jerk can provide a woman with the daily dose of drama that she craves. So it is not only that being a jerk carries no penalty, it's actually a benefit if your goal to sleep with many women. Being a jerk = sex with many women; being nice, polite and respectful = jerking off (no pun intended) in the basement.
udolipixie Posted May 9, 2012 Posted May 9, 2012 Exactly. Guys who are nice and respectful are seen as boring and predictable while jerks are exciting because they take women on an emotional roller coaster ride (what you can a love/hate relationship). Only a jerk can provide a woman with the daily dose of drama that she craves. So it is not only that being a jerk carries no penalty, it's actually a benefit if your goal to sleep with many women. Being a jerk = sex with many women; being nice, polite and respectful = jerking off (no pun intended) in the basement. Not exactly at all. Quite unsure how to you 'some gals will still want jerks and try to change them' equates to 'guys who are nice and respectful are seen as boring and jerks.' I can see how you'd would get that for the gals who will still want jerks or guy but it's quite a logical leap to get that as applying to gals in general. It's like getting 'some guys will still want bitches and try to change them' equates to 'gals who are nice lose and bitches win' rather than for those guys who like bitches the nice gals lose & bitches win. Only a jerk can provide some gals with the daily dose of drama that she craves and it usually does carry a penalty as some gals dislike/hate jerks. From my experiences being nice, polite, and respectful only equals jerking off if the guy is unattractive or average looking with nothing to little to offer beside his niceness, politeness, and respectable. Or if the guy doesn't have qualities attractive to the gals he want such as an average guy pursuing above average gals who want equally attractive guys. Though in my experiences most guys aren't as nice, polite, and respectful as they think they are.
ascendotum Posted May 9, 2012 Posted May 9, 2012 A shooting range would actually be a great place for meeting men. 90% of the attendees are male and you would get tons of a attention for being the token female no matter what you look like. ^Good suggestion. Also V what about any drag racing or car racing or auto show & shine events in your area. What sort of car do you have..if its a little unique you could join a car club. Great ratio of M to F when it comes to revhead pastimes...from the female perspective.
Eternal Sunshine Posted May 9, 2012 Posted May 9, 2012 I was actually thinking of joining a chess club. From what I hear, I would pretty much be the only girl there Plus, I am good at chess.
thatone Posted May 9, 2012 Posted May 9, 2012 ^Plus, you'd be the only attractive female those men would have seen. (10 chars)
verhrzn Posted May 9, 2012 Posted May 9, 2012 ^Good suggestion. Also V what about any drag racing or car racing or auto show & shine events in your area. What sort of car do you have..if its a little unique you could join a car club. Great ratio of M to F when it comes to revhead pastimes...from the female perspective. Um... it has wheels? And it's red?... I am useless with cars. Would an archery range count? I went bow hunting with my dad waaaaay back in middle school, and I've love to pick up archery again. Bows are just so much cooler than guns (no offense to casual gun lovers.)
somedude81 Posted May 9, 2012 Posted May 9, 2012 Um... it has wheels? And it's red?... I am useless with cars. Would an archery range count? I went bow hunting with my dad waaaaay back in middle school, and I've love to pick up archery again. Bows are just so much cooler than guns (no offense to casual gun lovers.) Only if it's a game to end your hunger 1
d'Arthez Posted May 9, 2012 Posted May 9, 2012 I was actually thinking of joining a chess club. Being a reasonable chess player myself, be warned that you will be seen as a curiosity unless there are other female chess players around, or alternatively you are living in a place where the gender stereotypes are not as strong. No matter how good you are, expect to meet a few dolts there as well, who will maintain that you cannot be good at chess even if you'd beat them blindfolded.
xxoo Posted May 9, 2012 Posted May 9, 2012 Um... it has wheels? And it's red?... I am useless with cars. Would an archery range count? I went bow hunting with my dad waaaaay back in middle school, and I've love to pick up archery again. Bows are just so much cooler than guns (no offense to casual gun lovers.) If there are lots of men there, sure. But it will probably be a lot of women, given the recent popularity of hunger games. Why not go where the men are? When in a new relationship--crazy about each other--both people tend to try new things with the other, showing an interest in each other's interests. Just because a guy likes guns, or sports, or beer, doesn't mean you will have nothing in common.
Author iris219 Posted May 9, 2012 Author Posted May 9, 2012 How bout you, Iris? Do you approach at all? Rather than approach, I typically give them the coy look and a smile until they come over to me. This seems to be the most effective method, IME. If they don’t come over, I assume they aren’t interested, aren’t single, or they’re too passive for me anyway. The most recent guy I dated I met randomly during the day. He said, “Hi! How are you,” with a big smile, so I did the same. It flowed from there. I'm a firm believer that guys let you know when they’re interested. If it’s someone I sort of know (like a friend of a friend), I’ll make it clear that I’m single and let them take it from there if they choose. I might do a subtle approach, like end up near a man want to talk to, but leave it up to him to start a conversation. I don't think an aggressive approach benefits women.
joystickd Posted May 9, 2012 Posted May 9, 2012 Rather than approach, I typically give them the coy look and a smile until they come over to me. This seems to be the most effective method, IME. If they don’t come over, I assume they aren’t interested, aren’t single, or they’re too passive for me anyway. The most recent guy I dated I met randomly during the day. He said, “Hi! How are you,” with a big smile, so I did the same. It flowed from there. I'm a firm believer that guys let you know when they’re interested. If it’s someone I sort of know (like a friend of a friend), I’ll make it clear that I’m single and let them take it from there if they choose. I might do a subtle approach, like end up near a man want to talk to, but leave it up to him to start a conversation. I don't think an aggressive approach benefits women. Well honey a closed mouth don't get fed
somedude81 Posted May 9, 2012 Posted May 9, 2012 Rather than approach, I typically give them the coy look and a smile until they come over to me. This seems to be the most effective method, IME. If they don’t come over, I assume they aren’t interested, aren’t single, or they’re too passive for me anyway. The most recent guy I dated I met randomly during the day. He said, “Hi! How are you,” with a big smile, so I did the same. It flowed from there. Do you remember how it flowed? I can imagine us in the same room, you give me a coy look and I approach. I saw, Hi! How are you. You respond "Good. And you." "I'm good." Then Awkward silence. Then I walk away feeling like an idiot.
Recommended Posts