Woggle Posted May 8, 2012 Posted May 8, 2012 Well, let's just say YOU, who seem to have a bad view of women are already married twice at the age of 33. If finding a woman was so hard, this probably would not happen to you. I have been told I am attractive and despite it all I am a good partner. I never cheated once and I don't believe in roles for men and roles for women as far as chores. The more I look at things the more I realize society in general is just messed up and that is both genders but it seems that only men get the blame for the current state of relationships and gender relations. There is enough blame to go around.
Anela Posted May 8, 2012 Posted May 8, 2012 Maybe it was somebody. I apologize if I am wrong. That being said your problem has nothing to do with looks or anything except for this bitter attitude. That is the only thing holding you back. If you have enough people telling you negative things, then it can take a long time for the more positive things to get through to you. It would also be really helpful to actually have positive experiences to back up the positive things that are said.
Anela Posted May 8, 2012 Posted May 8, 2012 I already asked the mods to ban me, since I'm apparently a drama-seeking, bitter old b*tch who the entire forum hates. I came here to share and to express what I couldn't in real life, but apparently that isn't what this place is for. That's EXACTLY what this place is for. I saw you post something more positive recently, only for some people to jump in and pee all over it. And you aren't any of those things mentioned. If it is negative thinking, then one day the shift will happen where it all hits you like it did me - otherwise, I think that you've just dealt with some horrible guys (I refuse to call them men). I've dealt with certain things, and thought myself ugly for the longest time - too ugly to be seen, or not good enough to hold onto someone. Great personality, sweet girl, smart in ways, fun, but just not as pretty as my sister or other women. I get it, I've just avoided dating in general, for the most part. You've stuck your neck out and gone for it, rather than hiding. 1
somedude81 Posted May 8, 2012 Posted May 8, 2012 He is a guy. It's much easier for men to find a good woman who is also attractive than the other way around. If you trying to troll, you'll have to work a bit harder.
TheBigQuestion Posted May 8, 2012 Posted May 8, 2012 I already asked the mods to ban me, since I'm apparently a drama-seeking, bitter old b*tch who the entire forum hates. I came here to share and to express what I couldn't in real life, but apparently that isn't what this place is for. Bitter? Sure. I don't think anyone here "hates" you though. That's a tad histrionic. And you're 27. That isn't old. This isn't the 1600s.
Feelsgoodman Posted May 8, 2012 Posted May 8, 2012 If you can't get a girlfriend, stop blaming the pool of available dates and start looking at yourself for once. The common denominator with all of these women is...well, you. Either your picker's screwed up or you're just not as great of a catch as you think you are. This is true to a large extent. At the same time, there is no denying that women pine for "bad boys". Every guy I know who even remotely approaches the romanticized bad boy image is literally accosted by women. This is not necessarily a bad thing. Bad boys have a leg up on the nice guys in one very important way: they don't take women seriously (and women love them for it). When a nice guy meet a woman he finds attractive, he starts imagining what spending the rest of his life with that woman would be like. When a "bad boy" meets an attractive woman, the only thing on his mind is how it would feel to have his d*ck inside her. Nice guys put women on a pedestal and treat them like delicate flowers. Bad boys see women as nothing more than T&A...pieces of meat that are good for one thing and one thing only. And contrary to what society teaches us, women find such attitude attractive and sexy.
LittlePrince Posted May 8, 2012 Posted May 8, 2012 And you're 27. That isn't old. Perhaps from an octogenarian's perspective.
gaius Posted May 8, 2012 Posted May 8, 2012 Maybe these threads turn into "verhzn can't get a date" because everyone loves piling on and telling me how all of my conclusions and absolutely everything about my experiences are wrong. But big nose, selfish, annoying, awful personality, yep, message received loud and clear. How bout y'all sign a petition to ban all of the ugly and annoying posters, like me, or put us on Ignore? Everything I said went in one ear and right out the other.
verhrzn Posted May 8, 2012 Posted May 8, 2012 Everything I said went in one ear and right out the other. No, I got the big nose, annoying, selfish, awful personality part.
mesmerized Posted May 8, 2012 Posted May 8, 2012 If you trying to troll, you'll have to work a bit harder. I'm not trolling. I just don't see as many men complaining around me as I see women.
Woggle Posted May 8, 2012 Posted May 8, 2012 I'm not trolling. I just don't see as many men complaining around me as I see women. Because most men don't complain to women offline.
verhrzn Posted May 8, 2012 Posted May 8, 2012 Because most men don't complain to women offline. Not true, guys complain to me all the freaking time. My single male friends... heck, even strangers in bars. If guys aren't ignoring me, they're complaining to me about how all the hot girls ignore THEM. 1
LittlePrince Posted May 8, 2012 Posted May 8, 2012 Because most men don't complain to women offline. Whiney men irl is a big taboo. Even among a man's own friends he can find it difficult to express legitimate frustrations. Guy culture and culture in general doesn't support such behavior in men.
LittlePrince Posted May 8, 2012 Posted May 8, 2012 Not true, guys complain to me all the freaking time. My single male friends... heck, even strangers in bars. If guys aren't ignoring me, they're complaining to me about how all the hot girls ignore THEM. Perhaps you live in a closed space pocket universe of your own design. Your own personal hell so to say.
mesmerized Posted May 8, 2012 Posted May 8, 2012 Because most men don't complain to women offline. lol, more like why would they complain? All my single girl friends from last year are still single whereas the guys are all paired up with girls who are at least in their own league.
LittlePrince Posted May 8, 2012 Posted May 8, 2012 lol, more like why would they complain? All my single girl friends from last year are still single whereas the guys are all paired up with girls who are at least in their own league. Relationships are a very good source for complaints.
Woggle Posted May 8, 2012 Posted May 8, 2012 lol, more like why would they complain? All my single girl friends from last year are still single whereas the guys are all paired up with girls who are at least in their own league. Maybe your friends choose to be single.
udolipixie Posted May 8, 2012 Posted May 8, 2012 I'm guessing he was making around $70-80K. Not my idea of "upper" middle class but that's a bit of a vague term in any event. So he was slightly above middle class but not upper middle in my opinion. I don't know where you are getting the idea that the average middle class person can lead a carefree lifestyle. People these days worker loner hours than ever (even those making modest salaries), decent jobs are hard to come by and everyone is scared sh*tless of being laid of and having their job outsourced to India and people are burdened with all sorts of debt (student loans, credit cards, mortgages). That's your idea of a 'carefree' lifestyle? I never stated carefree lifestyle perhaps acknowledging keywods would be best suited: I thought the guy was the sterotypical middle class guy as in my experiences most guys/gals can be financially responsible and have a borderline carefree and minimal stress lifestyle. In my experiences most people don't have a ball of unrelenting stress and obligations as if they were the CEO of an international business. I agree. Being an achiever is not rewarded nowadays. Interesting that my statement that job, house, car doesn't equal gal means being an achiever isn't rewarded. To me being an achiever is rewarded in the sense of getting an education and a good job is awarded is awarded with a good job and being financially independent to purchase things such as a house and car not a human being.
udolipixie Posted May 8, 2012 Posted May 8, 2012 This is true to a large extent. At the same time, there is no denying that women pine for "bad boys". Every guy I know who even remotely approaches the romanticized bad boy image is literally accosted by women. Some gals pine for bad guys, some pine for good guys, and some pine for a mix. However often times what the gals consider bad, good, or a mix vary upon the gal. This is not necessarily a bad thing. Bad boys have a leg up on the nice guys in one very important way: they don't take women seriously (and women love them for it). When a nice guy meet a woman he finds attractive, he starts imagining what spending the rest of his life with that woman would be like. When a "bad boy" meets an attractive woman, the only thing on his mind is how it would feel to have his d*ck inside her. To me in this case the bad boy has a healthier view and is taking gals seriously. He meets an attractive gal and is attracted to her and desires to have sex. Which is reasonable and understandable as he doesn't know much else about her to think she would a suitable partner. He does know he finds her attractive and would like to have sex with her. I also highly doubt that the thought of sex isn't on the nice guy's mind that he is thinking of a relationship doesn't make him better or more suitable than the bad guy. The nice guy seems to have a more romanticized image of gals imaging spending the rest of his life solely or mainly based on what she looks like rather than who she is. It suggests he doesn't take gals seriously and that they are like a set of interchangeable body parts who he idolizes and projects his fantasies upon. Nice guys put women on a pedestal and treat them like delicate flowers. Bad boys see women as nothing more than T&A...pieces of meat that are good for one thing and one thing only. Different experiences. From mine the guys who see gals as nothing more than T & A tend to be labeled by 'jerks' by gals. And contrary to what society teaches us, women find such attitude attractive and sexy. Different experiences. From mine most gals find the bad guy attractive and sexy and dislike or hate his attitude hoping to change it. Though it's not to change it to the nice guy's attitude as they find it stifling, suffocating, or placating. They seem to want a happy median of seeing her as a sexual being that they like/love rather than a sexual object (bad guy) or delicate flower (nice guy). 1
motive2002 Posted May 8, 2012 Posted May 8, 2012 Verhrzn: Move up here to Portland OR. I can be your wingman, and you will literally be swimming in eligible bachelors. There are so many single men here it's ridiculous. If you really aren't as fussy as you say, I could probably get you into whatever type of relationship you desire.
verhrzn Posted May 8, 2012 Posted May 8, 2012 Verhrzn: Move up here to Portland OR. I can be your wingman, and you will literally be swimming in eligible bachelors. There are so many single men here it's ridiculous. If you really aren't as fussy as you say, I could probably get you into whatever type of relationship you desire. I wasn't aware hipsters were into fat nerds.
LittlePrince Posted May 8, 2012 Posted May 8, 2012 I wasn't aware hipsters were into fat nerds. Hipsters are always into what's not cool.
motive2002 Posted May 8, 2012 Posted May 8, 2012 I wasn't aware hipsters were into fat nerds. Ouch. Portlandia has really painted us all with a brush. Yeah there are hipsters here, but we're not all like that Assuming you'd want a man your age or older, I wouldn't worry too much about that. The hipster thing is for the kids. *edit* stop calling yourself a fat nerd. If not for my sake than for your own. I saw your pic. You'd have no troubles up here, that's for sure. 1
Leigh 87 Posted May 8, 2012 Posted May 8, 2012 verhrzn - your not ugly. Your not a slender stunner, either, which is what u seam to think men primarily seek out; not ALL men do, ya know. You look petite, with large boobs, and u could serously go far with your cuteness factor. Furthermore, a man who is truly in love with you WILL NOT leave u for someone hotter! It takes MORE than hotter girls, for a guy that is truly into a girl to just LEAVE them... sheesh. You must work with what you have got. You have the " cute " thing going for you - u know, a busty women that is short, with a cute smile. You ARE NOT FAT. You are short, and like most short women, are not bird like, and have great curves. Cmon man - I was anorexic and am somewhat critical, and yet you are definately not fat by any stretch - your just not slender. Your still short and petite - lots of men like short, curvy girls:) Remember - I grew up being hated, with BAD acne and pimples, lazy and over weight, and EVERY ONE hated me in high school. I was very badly bullied. My entire life, I was hated for being ugly, and never well liked. I could have been set in my ways and just accept being hated and single all my life. But, I had such a burning desire to improve myself, that I did. It took anorexia to get there ( which I have since recovered from) but I am a good person now, that some people love to have around them. I am quiet pretty with a good body, but not a stunner to many people, it is my personality that KEEPS men around me. I refused to believe that the way I WAS, was ALL I had to offer. I knew I could be a person that people loved. Really, though. No one on here can help u much, u are so stuck in your way of thinking, that it will take some deap thinking about what u have to do to me a more positive person. It may mean distancing yourself from your negative sounding friends - and starting to smile more, and focus on what will make you a really positive person -a person that loves and appreciates life, and does not think " wow I am stuck being a mediocore, average person, boo hoo".
Eternal Sunshine Posted May 8, 2012 Posted May 8, 2012 V- don't worry about some people on this forum disliking you. Many people strongly dislike me and wish I would go away. They make snarky digs or even direct attacks most of the time. I am sure a lot talk behind my back. I actually know of two people on here who bonded over gossiping about me. In the end, we will be here for as long as we want Nobody is forced to read our threads or reply. 3
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