TheBigQuestion Posted May 8, 2012 Posted May 8, 2012 LOL @ verhrzn calling herself an "older woman" in this thread.
LittlePrince Posted May 8, 2012 Posted May 8, 2012 And how do you know that? I've heard of men doing it. I'm pretty sure you can enter some kind of contracts with the mother where the child be legally yours after. The surrogate mother contract doesn't hold up in court. A judge can easily tear it to shreds like it never existed. They believe you can't remove a woman's maternal rights even if she agrees to it but a man's paternal rights are seen as a special case deserving no protection. In any case, this is RARELY an issue for men. They are rarely worried about their age and there is no lack of women wanting to have kids with them. I've never seen a man posting a thread about his dream to be a father and how he can't find a woman for it and how he is extremely worried about it.I'm glad I don't exist. My pain feels like less of a burden now. Thank you.
Feelsgoodman Posted May 8, 2012 Posted May 8, 2012 What you listed were his job, education, and material possessions (house, car) not a bit on if he was attractive, interesting, fun to be around, or sexually compatible to the gals he pursued. It's quite interesting how guys often expect job, car, house = gal rather than if the gal finds you attractive, interesting, fun to be around, and sexually compatible. I highly doubt he couldn't get a gal seems it was more likely that he couldn't get a gal who fit his preferences or gals he figured he should be able to get easily as they didn't fit his preferences. It's true that he became more relaxed, easy going and carefree. Not having the stress of a job (one that you'd care about keeping anyway) and not being burdened with financial responsibility certainly helped with establishing that frame of mind (as did pot and other recreational drugs). The carefree attitude of a "loser" is a big part of what's considered "charm". Problem is, you can't have it both ways. You can't be successful and financially responsible while living a carefree and stress free lifestyle and maintaining an "I don't give a f*ck" attitude. This is why many so-called "losers" (and I use that term without the negative connotation) are literally swimming in p*ssy while guys who are good on paper can't get any. We live in a society where women make their own money, so it is not totally unexpected that many of them are preferring "fun" underachievers over successful but stressed out professionals. Incidentally, this explains why so many men are underachieving these days.
mesmerized Posted May 8, 2012 Posted May 8, 2012 The surrogate mother contract doesn't hold up in court. A judge can easily tear it to shreds like it never existed. They believe you can't remove a woman's maternal rights even if she agrees to it but a man's paternal rights are seen as a special case deserving no protection. Many celebs have done this. If this was such a big issue they wouldn't have done it considering how they are more in risk for being high profile. I'm glad I don't exist. My pain feels like less of a burden now. Thank you. So what are you suggesting? Women not having kids on their own cause men can't? Unless you're in your late fifties or something you still have hope to find a woman to have kids with you.
Woggle Posted May 8, 2012 Posted May 8, 2012 Pardon me if I offend anybody but I think that many of these women want to be single and are lying to themselves about actually wanting a man. I just don't see how hard it is for a good women to find a good man. If she has the qualities that decent men look are I just can't see it being that hard if they don't actually want to be single.
GardenDiva Posted May 8, 2012 Posted May 8, 2012 Pardon me if I offend anybody but I think that many of these women want to be single and are lying to themselves about actually wanting a man. I just don't see how hard it is for a good women to find a good man. If she has the qualities that decent men look are I just can't see it being that hard if they don't actually want to be single. That's because you have no idea how hard it is to find a good and NORMAL man out there! Luckily, I found one but it isn't easy. I think I had the qualities, as you say but finding one worthy of my qualities was another matter entirely! 3
udolipixie Posted May 8, 2012 Posted May 8, 2012 It's true that he became more relaxed, easy going and carefree. Not having the stress of a job (one that you'd care about keeping anyway) and not being burdened with financial responsibility certainly helped with establishing that frame of mind (as did pot and other recreational drugs). The carefree attitude of a "loser" is a big part of what's considered "charm". Problem is, you can't have it both ways. You can't be successful and financially responsible while living a carefree and stress free lifestyle and maintaining an "I don't give a f*ck" attitude. This is why many so-called "losers" (and I use that term without the negative connotation) are literally swimming in p*ssy while guys who are good on paper can't get any. We live in a society where women make their own money, so it is not totally unexpected that many of them are preferring "fun" underachievers over successful but stressed out professionals. Incidentally, this explains why so many men are underachieving these days. I thought the guy was the sterotypical middle class guy as in my experiences most guys/gals can be financially responsible and have a borderline carefree and minimal stress lifestyle. It seems thte upper middle class and upper class have issues with simultaneously having a carefree and no to low stress lifestyle. Was the guy middle class or upper middle class? I think what explains why so many guys are underachieving these days is because many realize job, car, house doesn't equal gal especially when many gals have their own job, car, and house. That it's more of who you are as a person thus they put little effort into such tasks. As well as it seems many have the mindset you can't be financially responsible and not have a stressful lifestyle.
mesmerized Posted May 8, 2012 Posted May 8, 2012 That's because you have no idea how hard it is to find a good and NORMAL man out there! Luckily, I found one but it isn't easy. I think I had the qualities, as you say but finding one worthy of my qualities was another matter entirely! He is a guy. It's much easier for men to find a good woman who is also attractive than the other way around.
udolipixie Posted May 8, 2012 Posted May 8, 2012 Pardon me if I offend anybody but I think that many of these women want to be single and are lying to themselves about actually wanting a man. I just don't see how hard it is for a good women to find a good man. If she has the qualities that decent men look are I just can't see it being that hard if they don't actually want to be single. The way I see it is: It's not hard to find a good gal/guy. It's hard to find a good guy/gal that is attractive, interesting, fun to be around, sexually compatible, and a contributor not a liability/burden. It's even harder to find a good guy/gal that is attractive, interesting, fun to be around, sexually compatible, and a contributor not a liability/burden who reciprocates.
LittlePrince Posted May 8, 2012 Posted May 8, 2012 Many celebs have done this. If this was such a big issue they wouldn't have done it considering how they are more in risk for being high profile.But they have had problems though you'll find if you throw enough money at a problem it eventually goes away. So what are you suggesting? Women not having kids on their own cause men can't? Unless you're in your late fifties or something you still have hope to find a woman to have kids with you.Hope is a fantasy and not a reality. Still let's go along with your pipe dream. If a man can find a woman to have kids with him that doesn't guarantee he will be able to retain his parental rights and be a true father unless you see being a father as no more than a sperm donation and that's all it should be.
Woggle Posted May 8, 2012 Posted May 8, 2012 If it is so hard then why do I know so many good guys that have no luck with women and get dumped for complete scumbags? Women can date who they want but all this complaining about there being no good men just makes men roll their eyes when women turn their nose up at the good ones so often. Do you honestly think it is so much easier for a man to find a good woman? There are a lot of single women out there with man hating issues who are just a ton of drama.
verhrzn Posted May 8, 2012 Posted May 8, 2012 If it is so hard then why do I know so many good guys that have no luck with women and get dumped for complete scumbags? Women can date who they want but all this complaining about there being no good men just makes men roll their eyes when women turn their nose up at the good ones so often. Do you honestly think it is so much easier for a man to find a good woman? There are a lot of single women out there with man hating issues who are just a ton of drama. I don't turn up my nose at any guy. I've only become "man hating" (I am still confused how in the world I am a man hater) in the last two years or so. I go to all the places you say you should to find "good" men, and there are none there (or they're in a couple. I have sworn off cooking classes because I was sick of being surrounded by cooing newly weds.) So how do you explain me?
FitChick Posted May 8, 2012 Posted May 8, 2012 What are you hoping to accomplish by this? If you think the opinions of anonymous strangers are completely invalid and to be dismissed (which is the impression I'm getting here), why are you even posting? Because she keeps getting attention from people like you (and a few others I won't mention). Do you really think she will change if you just talk long and loud enough? You validate her attention seeking. Ignore her and maybe she will go away.
LittlePrince Posted May 8, 2012 Posted May 8, 2012 The only single woman I know is an attention whore. She hops from one guy to the next. I don't know if she is hopping from one bed to the next as well. The rest are mostly married or in some sort of relationship.
GardenDiva Posted May 8, 2012 Posted May 8, 2012 He is a guy. It's much easier for men to find a good woman who is also attractive than the other way around. Well, I'm not sure I completely agree with that. I think it's just as tough for good guys to find a good gal.
Woggle Posted May 8, 2012 Posted May 8, 2012 I don't turn up my nose at any guy. I've only become "man hating" (I am still confused how in the world I am a man hater) in the last two years or so. I go to all the places you say you should to find "good" men, and there are none there (or they're in a couple. I have sworn off cooking classes because I was sick of being surrounded by cooing newly weds.) So how do you explain me? I don't think you are a full fledged misandrist but I have heard you express views that make most men pause.
verhrzn Posted May 8, 2012 Posted May 8, 2012 Because she keeps getting attention from people like you (and a few others I won't mention). Do you really think she will change if you just talk long and loud enough? You validate her attention seeking. Ignore her and maybe she will go away. What is it with you?? Do you get off on kicking me while I'm down? You seem to find your way into the threads I frequent (and no, I DON'T thread-hijack anymore, go ahead and check my history; only my threads, threads like this in which I am agreeing and supporting the OP's point, or ones where I stay on topic) just to insult me. If you're such an enlightened person, why is it that necessary? I don't think you are a full fledged misandrist but I have heard you express views that make most men pause. Such as?....
Woggle Posted May 8, 2012 Posted May 8, 2012 Such as?.... I remember you saying once that you found it refreshing when a woman cheats on a man. That kind of mentality most men just want no part of.
verhrzn Posted May 8, 2012 Posted May 8, 2012 I remember you saying once that you found it refreshing when a woman cheats on a man. That kind of mentality most men just want no part of. .... I have never said that. 1
mesmerized Posted May 8, 2012 Posted May 8, 2012 If it is so hard then why do I know so many good guys that have no luck with women and get dumped for complete scumbags? Women can date who they want but all this complaining about there being no good men just makes men roll their eyes when women turn their nose up at the good ones so often. Do you honestly think it is so much easier for a man to find a good woman? There are a lot of single women out there with man hating issues who are just a ton of drama. Well, let's just say YOU, who seem to have a bad view of women are already married twice at the age of 33. If finding a woman was so hard, this probably would not happen to you.
Woggle Posted May 8, 2012 Posted May 8, 2012 .... I have never said that. Maybe it was somebody. I apologize if I am wrong. That being said your problem has nothing to do with looks or anything except for this bitter attitude. That is the only thing holding you back.
Anela Posted May 8, 2012 Posted May 8, 2012 Because she keeps getting attention from people like you (and a few others I won't mention). Do you really think she will change if you just talk long and loud enough? You validate her attention seeking. Ignore her and maybe she will go away. I don't think she's attention-seeking, and I don't want her to go away.
Feelsgoodman Posted May 8, 2012 Posted May 8, 2012 Was the guy middle class or upper middle class? I'm guessing he was making around $70-80K. Not my idea of "upper" middle class but that's a bit of a vague term in any event. I don't know where you are getting the idea that the average middle class person can lead a carefree lifestyle. People these days worker loner hours than ever (even those making modest salaries), decent jobs are hard to come by and everyone is scared sh*tless of being laid of and having their job outsourced to India and people are burdened with all sorts of debt (student loans, credit cards, mortgages). That's your idea of a 'carefree' lifestyle? I think what explains why so many guys are underachieving these days is because many realize job, car, house doesn't equal gal especially when many gals have their own job, car, and house. That it's more of who you are as a person thus they put little effort into such tasks. As well as it seems many have the mindset you can't be financially responsible and not have a stressful lifestyle. I agree. Being an achiever is not rewarded nowadays.
verhrzn Posted May 8, 2012 Posted May 8, 2012 I don't think she's attention-seeking, and I don't want her to go away. I already asked the mods to ban me, since I'm apparently a drama-seeking, bitter old b*tch who the entire forum hates. I came here to share and to express what I couldn't in real life, but apparently that isn't what this place is for.
RiverRunning Posted May 8, 2012 Posted May 8, 2012 Guy who have no options tend to be the unattractive or have no to low confidence, self-esteem, social/conversational skills, and/or experience by circumstance. Offsetting this and several other things is their niceness which is a default expectation of most adults as well as often really passive aggressive or a pushover. Guys who have low options tend to think most of their options are below them in leagues which is a toss up as studies have shown that guys tend to overrate themselves and gals tend to underrate themselves. Yep. Most of the guys I see complaining on here about how they're single are the ones posting 9 million threads about one feature about a woman that they're obsessed with (like the guys constantly posting about how women are gold-diggers, all women are out to get ugly guys, etc.). That, or they're playing up how hot and how smoking their bodies are, and how they have to 'settle' for women with big noses or women who are slightly over or underweight, etc. Some guys just are handed a deck of bad cards. But I'm willing to bet that MOST of the problem is that they're not willing to pursue other women. I have a good friend who, in his late 40s, was constantly griping about how he couldn't meet women. He blabbed and blabbed about how he had tried everything, including signing up for ballroom dancing, to meet women. I asked him if he ever approached any of the women or started a conversation with them. You can guess the answer. And he's not a stellar-looking guy - even for his age. I'd say he's actually kind of...ugly. He's not rich (I'd be shocked if he makes much more than $25k a year). He's a very kind, loving, gregarious person. Very religious. At the end of the day, for men, I think being decent-looking matters. But personality wins out, time and time again. The "bad boy" who's just waiting to take your virginity is the stuff of legend for girls. And after dating a 'bad boy,' there are plenty of women who are desperately trying to avoid that. A decent, stable, funny, polite guy who's great with kids is the perfect choice. If you can't get a girlfriend, stop blaming the pool of available dates and start looking at yourself for once. The common denominator with all of these women is...well, you. Either your picker's screwed up or you're just not as great of a catch as you think you are.
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