Men have so many options and I'm sick of it!*

[iris219]

The men I know have women lined up. These women have taken a number and are waiting around, hoping he'll choose them. He has so many options, he never has to settle down because he can get easy sex anytime.

 

The last guy I dated is a drug addict, with a crappy job, who lives like a frat boy at 38. He's a tiny bit above average looking, maybe a 6 in VERY low light. Women love him. And I mean hot, successful women. He told me every time he goes out women are like piranhas. He's beating them off with a stick. One of our mutual friends confirmed how much women love him.

 

I have a friend who's unemployed, a smoker (pot and cigarettes), very average looking (I'm being generous here), married (separated, though not legally), has two kids, and, again, women love him. He just started doing online dating and he hooks up with every woman on the first date or has to turn them down (because he isn't interested). These are attractive, professional women and they all want a relationship with him, but he's not interested.

 

I don't get it. Both guys could be described as charming initially, but they're losers. Maybe the above just pertains to men over 30.

 

I definitely can't relate to the men on LS who can't get dates because I never see this. I see women throwing themselves at the few available men, and these aren't quality guys. Every man I know is doing incredibly well. Dudes with holey t-shirts barely covering their beer bellies are getting cute girls (ok, that might have been hyperbole ). What the heck is going on in my town?

 

I can't find a man who wants a commitment because either he's already in a relationship, he has his pick of women, or he's horrible (and that's ok because some woman will want him), or a combination of the three. I'm so frustrated.

[Woggle]

How is it men's fault if women line up to be with a loser? Also there are many attractive men and loyal men who have many things going for them that can't find love if their life depended on it. Losers like this really seem to appeal to certain women these days.

[zengirl]

How is it men's fault if women line up to be with a loser? Also there are many attractive men and loyal men who have many things going for them that can't find love if their life depended on it. Losers like this really seem to appeal to certain women these days.

 

I don't think Iris is saying it is men's fault (and of course she's wrong if she is). I think she's just sharing her experience, which runs counter to many experiences expressed on LS. She has her own frustrations. I don't see her blaming ALL men for them. The title may come off that way, but I'm assuming that's the purpose of the asterisk (*).

[verhrzn]

My last ex is very similar. Under-employed, frequent pot smoker, biggest hobbies are video games and watching TV, never works out except the occasional bike ride.

 

He's not bad looking (he's got a bit of a gut), but what he really has going for him is charm. He is very gregarious and has tons of friends. Women adore him... he was constantly telling me stories about how he slept with her and she was boring, or slept with her and she was too submissive. In one con weekend, he pulled down at least 2 women. By his stories and my calculations, he's slept with almost every female in his social circle who isn't a girlfriend of one of his friends.

 

I don't understand it either, but that's charisma for you. It's why when I see guys on this forum complaining how they can't get women because they're short, I just laugh and laugh.

[Necromancer]

Strong troll?

 

The only women i have had dying over me are way below my league.

 

A 6 looking guy will never in a 87654213546575453963425843643832482834232 years have a line of a hot/successful women drolling over him.....unless he´s really famous or rich.

[Bob_Funk]

I've only met a handful of guys in my entire life who've had girls throwing themselves at them. Most are forced to spend their teens and twenties in a sexual desert.

 

There's definitely some selection bias with the guys you're dealing with. That much is obvious.

[Necromancer]

My last ex is very similar. Under-employed, frequent pot smoker, biggest hobbies are video games and watching TV, never works out except the occasional bike ride.

 

He's not bad looking (he's got a bit of a gut), but what he really has going for him is charm. He is very gregarious and has tons of friends. Women adore him... he was constantly telling me stories about how he slept with her and she was boring, or slept with her and she was too submissive. In one con weekend, he pulled down at least 2 women. By his stories and my calculations, he's slept with almost every female in his social circle who isn't a girlfriend of one of his friends.

 

I don't understand it either, but that's charisma for you. It's why when I see guys on this forum complaining how they can't get women because they're short, I just laugh and laugh.

 

I have been told i will get girls because of my personality, girls are always complimenting my personality to.......still the girls go for my better looking friends.

 

You women make it always sound like if you have a good personality you are the holy grail that will need to kick women in 10 mile radius of you.

[SarahRose]

OP I have to ask what attracted YOU to loser number 1 that you dated? Why did you date him?

 

For the loser friend, why are you friends with him? what is it about him?

[Necromancer]

I've only met a handful of guys in my entire life who've had girls throwing themselves at them. Most are forced to spend their teens and twenties in a sexual desert.

 

There's definitely some selection bias with the guys you're dealing with. That much is obvious.

 

The only guy i know who has women all over him is my friend who is not in the top 20%.........he´s more in the top 5%.

 

I don´t know where this myth of average looking guys who have women all over them because of their charisma came from....

 

The chances of this happening are the same as winning the lottery.

[verhrzn]

The only guy i know who has women all over him is my friend who is not in the top 20%.........he´s more in the top 5%.

 

I don´t know where this myth of average looking guys who have women all over them because of their charisma came from....

 

The chances of this happening are the same as winning the lottery.

 

Then how do you explain my ex? I sent you his picture... does he look like he's in the top 5%?

 

No. It isn't about a "good personality"... it's about charisma and confidence.

[udolipixie]

From my experiences/observations:

Guys generally have loads of options to chose from and most are more attractive than himself. Their options and the appeal of said options only increasing with age as gals don't tend to be as shallow as guys thinking an older person is only attractive when they don't look their age.

 

Guy who have no options tend to be the unattractive or have no to low confidence, self-esteem, social/conversational skills, and/or experience by circumstance. Offsetting this and several other things is their niceness which is a default expectation of most adults as well as often really passive aggressive or a pushover.

 

Guys who have low options tend to think most of their options are below them in leagues which is a toss up as studies have shown that guys tend to overrate themselves and gals tend to underrate themselves.

 

Rather than focus on your frustation it's probably best suited accept the situation as is and work on your other wants. If that doesn't appeal and having a guy commit to you is that important then take the horrible men or further lower your standards to half-decent as many gals I know/meet do.

[Imajerk17]

Um yeah. Most guys take themselves out of the game so those of us who are still playing are getting better than we deserve. Sorry for party-rocking....

[NYC-BigKat]

The men I know have women lined up. These women have taken a number and are waiting around, hoping he'll choose them. He has so many options, he never has to settle down because he can get easy sex anytime.

 

The last guy I dated is a drug addict, with a crappy job, who lives like a frat boy at 38. He's a tiny bit above average looking, maybe a 6 in VERY low light. Women love him. And I mean hot, successful women. He told me every time he goes out women are like piranhas. He's beating them off with a stick. One of our mutual friends confirmed how much women love him.

 

I have a friend who's unemployed, a smoker (pot and cigarettes), very average looking (I'm being generous here), married (separated, though not legally), has two kids, and, again, women love him. He just started doing online dating and he hooks up with every woman on the first date or has to turn them down (because he isn't interested). These are attractive, professional women and they all want a relationship with him, but he's not interested.

 

I don't get it. Both guys could be described as charming initially, but they're losers. Maybe the above just pertains to men over 30.

 

I definitely can't relate to the men on LS who can't get dates because I never see this. I see women throwing themselves at the few available men, and these aren't quality guys. Every man I know is doing incredibly well. Dudes with holey t-shirts barely covering their beer bellies are getting cute girls (ok, that might have been hyperbole ). What the heck is going on in my town?

 

I can't find a man who wants a commitment because either he's already in a relationship, he has his pick of women, or he's horrible (and that's ok because some woman will want him), or a combination of the three. I'm so frustrated.

 

Gee I wish I was in your town 'cause its the opposite here in NYC .

[Shaun-Dro]

The men I know have women lined up. These women have taken a number and are waiting around, hoping he'll choose them. He has so many options, he never has to settle down because he can get easy sex anytime.

 

The last guy I dated is a drug addict, with a crappy job, who lives like a frat boy at 38. He's a tiny bit above average looking, maybe a 6 in VERY low light. Women love him. And I mean hot, successful women. He told me every time he goes out women are like piranhas. He's beating them off with a stick. One of our mutual friends confirmed how much women love him.

 

I have a friend who's unemployed, a smoker (pot and cigarettes), very average looking (I'm being generous here), married (separated, though not legally), has two kids, and, again, women love him. He just started doing online dating and he hooks up with every woman on the first date or has to turn them down (because he isn't interested). These are attractive, professional women and they all want a relationship with him, but he's not interested.

 

I don't get it. Both guys could be described as charming initially, but they're losers. Maybe the above just pertains to men over 30.

 

I definitely can't relate to the men on LS who can't get dates because I never see this. I see women throwing themselves at the few available men, and these aren't quality guys. Every man I know is doing incredibly well. Dudes with holey t-shirts barely covering their beer bellies are getting cute girls (ok, that might have been hyperbole ). What the heck is going on in my town?

 

I can't find a man who wants a commitment because either he's already in a relationship, he has his pick of women, or he's horrible (and that's ok because some woman will want him), or a combination of the three. I'm so frustrated.

 

You should be ashamed of yourself for trolling on here with these lies. I'm beside myself right now because this post is nonsense just to get a rise out of the male population. So guys, please don't fall for it!

[verhrzn]

You should be ashamed of yourself for trolling on here with these lies. I'm beside myself right now because this post is nonsense just to get a rise out of the male population. So guys, please don't fall for it!

 

She is NOT trolling! I've had the exact same experience. I even sent Necro my ex's picture to prove that me and Iris aren't just chasing after hot male models, or whatever counts as the 5% in your guys' head.

[mesmerized]

I absolutely agree with you. The "women are the chooser" is a huge MYTH. Men definitely have more options, specially for relationships and for some, even for sex. Guys I know, even average looking get into relationships after relationships. I know very few guys that can't get a girl for the life of them and they are very unattractive and never try either. Whereas I know a lot of good looking single women whose dating attempts just doesn't go anywhere.

[mesmerized]

You should be ashamed of yourself for trolling on here with these lies. I'm beside myself right now because this post is nonsense just to get a rise out of the male population. So guys, please don't fall for it!

 

:rolleyes:

 

Just because you're a guy who has trouble getting girls doesn't mean all guys do. Our experience is as valid as yours if not more.

[iris219]

She is NOT trolling! I've had the exact same experience. I even sent Necro my ex's picture to prove that me and Iris aren't just chasing after hot male models, or whatever counts as the 5% in your guys' head.

 

Yep. I’m not a troll. People on here who know me know that I’m genuine, and the women I know IRL have experiences similar to mine and V's.

 

I absolutely agree with you. The "women are the chooser" is a huge MYTH. Men definitely have more options, specially for relationships and for some, even for sex. Guys I know, even average looking get into relationships after relationships. I know very few guys that can't get a girl for the life of them and they are very unattractive and never try either. Whereas I know a lot of good looking single women whose dating attempts just doesn't go anywhere.

 

Exactly.

[Shaun-Dro]

She is NOT trolling! I've had the exact same experience. I even sent Necro my ex's picture to prove that me and Iris aren't just chasing after hot male models, or whatever counts as the 5% in your guys' head.

 

There's no way in hell gorgeous women like Halle Berry or Scarlett Jo are in line waiting for a jump with an average-looking scum lowlife who makes no secret about it unless these women are lowlife sluts themselves and said women will jump on any smelly homeless man walking the strips, period.

 

If you want me to believe this, please prove this to me with hard evidence of some kind for confirmation that the female race is permanently doomed or don't waste my time!

[Woggle]

There's no way in hell gorgeous women like Halle Berry or Scarlett Jo are in line waiting for a jump with an average-looking scum lowlife who makes no secret about it unless these women are lowlife sluts themselves and said women will jump on any smelly homeless man walking the strips, period.

 

If you want me to believe this, please prove this to me with hard evidence of some kind for confirmation that the female race is permanently doomed or don't waste my time!

 

You would be surprised. Salma Hayek married a deadbeat dad who is not very attractive himself and I know a guy in town who lives in an RV plus does more drugs and booze than the human should be able to take yet has women crawling all over him. I think some women just love scum bags no matter what they look like.

[mesmerized]

There's no way in hell gorgeous women like Halle Berry or Scarlett Jo are in line waiting for a jump with an average-looking scum lowlife who makes no secret about it unless these women are lowlife sluts themselves and said women will jump on any smelly homeless man walking the strips, period.

 

If you want me to believe this, please prove this to me with hard evidence of some kind for confirmation that the female race is permanently doomed or don't waste my time!

 

Well, I don't think an average looking guy always has women "throwing themselves at him". Some do, most don't. HOWEVER, if a guy wants a relationship, he often can easily get it with girls that are considered better than him, either in the looks department or something else.

[verhrzn]

You would be surprised. Salma Hayek married a deadbeat dad who is not very attractive himself and I know a guy in town who lives in an RV plus does more drugs and booze than the human should be able to take yet has women crawling all over him. I think some women just love scum bags no matter what they look like.

 

Or maybe the women have no other options. You hear guys complaining on forums like this how women don't like them, but those same guys also barely leave the house, hardly ever interact with women, and absolutely never approach them or ask them out.

 

What exactly are these guys expecting... that women will just knock on their door and rip off their clothes?? Most of the guys I know who don't succeed with women don't really try.

 

Whereas the "loser" guys... they're constantly out there, hitting on women, laying on the charm and playing up their charismatic side.

 

It seems like single women have three choices: sleep with the loser jerks (who are the only guys actually out in the world), knock down the door of loser "nice guys" and hope the guy doesn't reject her for being too fat/ugly (that's usually what happens to me when I try approaching a guy), or be alone.

[MaxNoob]

I think it was Chris Rock who said: if a guy could live in a cardboard box and still get girls, he would. So if a guy has so much game that he can get girls despite being an unemployed drug addict, he'll have no ambition to change his ways and just devolve into a gelatinous blob. So when you see girls falling for a loser, it's actually a cause and effect relationship.

[Shaun-Dro]

You would be surprised. Salma Hayek married a deadbeat dad who is not very attractive himself and I know a guy in town who lives in an RV plus does more drugs and booze than the human should be able to take yet has women crawling all over him. I think some women just love scum bags no matter what they look like.

 

I agree that there are many women who are into scumbags because these same women are garbage themselves with a ton of mental issues you dont even begin to know. But this does not apply to every hottie walking about the streets unless she's high on meth or drunk as a skunk to know what's the difference.

[Woggle]

Or maybe the women have no other options. You hear guys complaining on forums like this how women don't like them, but those same guys also barely leave the house, hardly ever interact with women, and absolutely never approach them or ask them out.

 

What exactly are these guys expecting... that women will just knock on their door and rip off their clothes?? Most of the guys I know who don't succeed with women don't really try.

 

Whereas the "loser" guys... they're constantly out there, hitting on women, laying on the charm and playing up their charismatic side.

 

It seems like single women have three choices: sleep with the loser jerks (who are the only guys actually out in the world), knock down the door of loser "nice guys" and hope the guy doesn't reject her for being too fat/ugly (that's usually what happens to me when I try approaching a guy), or be alone.

 

Because good guys actually listen to women when they say they don't like street harassment. The jerks ignore it and still approach women and I guess women actually like it despite what men have been told for the last couple of decades.