Why am I feeling this way?

[Grizzkid]

This is my first post to this forum. I usually don't go to other people for life advice but i'm so down right now that i don't know where else to turn.

 

Btw, I know my grammar is not the best here so just bear with me haha

 

Why we broke up

A few months ago I basically destroyed a relationship with the most amazing girl i've ever met. It all went downhill when I started applying for the Marine Officer candidate school. The requirements to get accepted are really high and I felt like I needed to put everything I had into the application phase to make the cut. After watching the "How bad do you want it" video I decided that I had to give up everything to get in; hanging out with friends, drinking, partying, facebook, bodybuilding, rugby and eventually her to. I changed my whole life in an instant and it just made me really irritable and stressed. I turned every conversation into an argument and started pushing her away each day. We decided to take a break and tbh I felt so much better. Idk why either because I loved being with her. I think i was just so preoccupied with school and the marines that I couldn't feel the pain of losing her. After the break I didn't contact her for awhile and without a facebook I didn't know much about how her life was going.

 

What my problem is

I recently activated my fb account upon completing the application phase for officer candidate school and found out that sometime between these past 2 and half months that me n her were supposedly on a break she had started dating some other guy. Seeing that completely destroyed me inside. I had to delete her as a friend right away because seeing all the xoxo, miss you, see you tonight kinda posts from him were killing me. I just couldn't believe that she found someone else so quickly and had completely forgotten about me. I mean she was writing me little love letters just a few months ago and now its like I never existed. It just hurts I guess and I can't get her out of my mind. It's been about two weeks since I found out and it's still tearing me apart. I have 5 finals to study for this week and all i can do is think about her and feel sorry for myself like a loser. I don't get why i'm so hung up on her either. I can go out and find so many other girls but when I do that I find myself comparing and wishing i was with her instead. And I've had plenty of other splits before but i think its the way we ended which is really bothering me. What sucks the most is realizing that this whole situation is all my fault and now there is nothing I can do about it. She's completely happy with her new guy and I'm pretty sure we're over for good.

 

I just want to know why I'm feeling this way. I mean when we broke off 2 and a half months ago I didn't feel any emotions at all. Now that i'm not busy anymore and knowing that she is taken I have become a mess. Depressed to be honest. I want to get over her and move on but at the same time I wish i could get her back and pick up where we left off. Life sucks right now my friends

[BewitchedandBothered]

This is my first post to this forum. I usually don't go to other people for life advice but i'm so down right now that i don't know where else to turn.

 

Btw, I know my grammar is not the best here so just bear with me haha

 

Why we broke up

A few months ago I basically destroyed a relationship with the most amazing girl i've ever met. It all went downhill when I started applying for the Marine Officer candidate school. The requirements to get accepted are really high and I felt like I needed to put everything I had into the application phase to make the cut. After watching the "How bad do you want it" video I decided that I had to give up everything to get in; hanging out with friends, drinking, partying, facebook, bodybuilding, rugby and eventually her to. I changed my whole life in an instant and it just made me really irritable and stressed. I turned every conversation into an argument and started pushing her away each day. We decided to take a break and tbh I felt so much better. Idk why either because I loved being with her. I think i was just so preoccupied with school and the marines that I couldn't feel the pain of losing her. After the break I didn't contact her for awhile and without a facebook I didn't know much about how her life was going.

 

What my problem is

I recently activated my fb account upon completing the application phase for officer candidate school and found out that sometime between these past 2 and half months that me n her were supposedly on a break she had started dating some other guy. Seeing that completely destroyed me inside. I had to delete her as a friend right away because seeing all the xoxo, miss you, see you tonight kinda posts from him were killing me. I just couldn't believe that she found someone else so quickly and had completely forgotten about me. I mean she was writing me little love letters just a few months ago and now its like I never existed. It just hurts I guess and I can't get her out of my mind. It's been about two weeks since I found out and it's still tearing me apart. I have 5 finals to study for this week and all i can do is think about her and feel sorry for myself like a loser. I don't get why i'm so hung up on her either. I can go out and find so many other girls but when I do that I find myself comparing and wishing i was with her instead. And I've had plenty of other splits before but i think its the way we ended which is really bothering me. What sucks the most is realizing that this whole situation is all my fault and now there is nothing I can do about it. She's completely happy with her new guy and I'm pretty sure we're over for good.

 

I just want to know why I'm feeling this way. I mean when we broke off 2 and a half months ago I didn't feel any emotions at all. Now that i'm not busy anymore and knowing that she is taken I have become a mess. Depressed to be honest. I want to get over her and move on but at the same time I wish i could get her back and pick up where we left off. Life sucks right now my friends

She found someone who makes her a priority. You swatted her away like an annoying fly. Maybe deep down, you were hoping she would be waiting for you when you were done. You are feeling this way because you no longer have other things to keep you busy and occupied.

[spiderowl]

I don't think in your mind you dumped her so much as put her 'on hold' but of course she didn't see it like that and it sounds like you were cold towards her. She's moved on from an unhappy situation and now it's dawning on you that she hasn't waited for you. Whatever advice you were following to make you cut off like that, it was bad advice. I think you're upset now because you miss her and because you don't feel it was your choice that she's gone. All you can do now is to learn from this and realise that relationships mean relating, not cutting people out of your life.

 

Assuming that you had some vague idea she'd wait for you, I guess you want to know now why she didn't. You could ask her but don't expect to get a pleasant answer. It might resolve things in your mind though and give you some peace later.

[Grizzkid]

Thanks for the reply guys

 

I need a little help explaining this

 

Tonight I got a really random text from her saying "But you didn't have to cut me off! Now your just somebody that I used to know!.. Totally just came on the radio and I thought of you haha"

 

I made her listen to this song once and she couldn't believe that I'd listen to music like that. Other than that there's no reason to text me that. Is she just bringing back that memory or saying this because those lyrics pretty much sum up what happened between us?