Cyberpunk Posted May 5, 2012 Posted May 5, 2012 (edited) My girlfriend and I broke up two months ago after a two year relationship. We'd been fighting a lot and not really getting along, so we ended it. I tried No Contact, but I caved after three days and called her because I felt bad for how easily I brushed her off. She'd said that she wanted to wait a little while and we could work things out, so I gave her space in that regard. It was at this time that I decided not to wait for her and to focus on moving on with my life. It would usually go with no contact for a few days and then she'd reach out to me when she was drunk for sex and what not. Since I knew she still had feelings for me, I kept pressing the issue that maybe we should get back together. Then she would say she didn't want to yet and would cite endlessly all of her problems with me and our relationship. So I said okay, stopped contacting her, and eventually she would contact me and then the same thing would happen: "Are we getting back together?" "No, because you are blank, blank and our relationship was blank." It's been this same cycle for a month. Mostly, she calls me up to inquire about whom I'm hanging out with and what girls I'm talking to, etc. etc. She doesn't want to get back together, probably because, like most girls I've dated, she's trying to date other people. Yet she's obviously still in love with me and interested in me. Knowing this is the reason I kept asking her if we were willing to work things out. She would reply with No not right now, and I would reply that we didn't need to remain friends, or keep seeing each other, and her reluctance to work anything out signals to me that she wants to move on for good. Though she never says it. She never gives me a definite "No" or a definite "Yes," and everytime I say Goodbye to her she tries to prevent me from severing all ties. I know the game she is trying to play, and I'm playing it right back. When she's not reaching out to me and I try to reach out to her, she is very cold, distant, and acts like she couldn't give a **** about me. Then I leave her alone and go out with my friends and that's when her jealousy sets in and she reaches out to me. After not speaking with her for a few days, I came back from the bar around 2 last night to find her in my parking lot. I sat in her car with her and she was clearly drunk, asking who I was out with and she started crying, rehashing our relationship and all of my "Faults." I told her that she didn't need to come over to my house simply to remind me of everything she said to me a dozen times, and I stormed out of her car. Then she pulled around and begged me to come back in the car and finish talking with her. She also pretended to run me over too. I called her crazy and told her I hated her and to leave. She said she wasn't leaving and was coming inside. Since she was obviously drunk I really had no choice but to let her stay the night. We ended up sleeping together, and in the middle of it she's asking me to tell her about all the girls I've been sleeping with because apparently thinking of me with another girl turns her on. She's bi. I asked her the same and she said she had slept with a girl earlier that day. I didn't say anything about it to her, but it pissed me off a great deal. The next morning she was trying to be nice to me, wrap her arms around me, but I wasn't having it. I told her she overstayed her welcome and she started to cry and left. I have no incentive to be nice to her anymore. It was a mean thing to say, but at this point she's only responding to me when I'm being hard in the heart and detached from her. In hindsight, I wonder if it was the right thing to say, to let her leave like that. But I know that if I returned her affections, she would continue playing the same game with me. She believes that she has me wrapped around her finger, and I'm not about to play that game. Edited May 5, 2012 by Cyberpunk
cherries1 Posted May 5, 2012 Posted May 5, 2012 I believe you did the right thing and from now on you should cut all ties with her. I don't think she's still in love with you, if she were, she wouldn't be sleeping around and breaking up with you in the first place. I think the whole situation, if it went on like it has up until now, will only cause pain, pain and more pain in the long run. Better cut off contact and let her live the life she wants now. Don't pick up her calls or answer her texts, she doesn't sound like she's any good for you. And if you broke up because of fighting, believe me, people usually don't change and at least in such a short period of time, things will not work out until both of you have moved on with your lives and gotten over the whole situation. Stay strong!
Author Cyberpunk Posted May 11, 2012 Author Posted May 11, 2012 I went straight N/C and she sent me a text the other day saying, "I wish we could be friends," to which I didn't respond. Then she called me yesterday and was trying to act cute by saying she was wearing my pajamas. I was unenthusiastic about the call, and after we hung up, she sent me two texts saying, "I'm sorry for calling you, I just miss being friends. I'm so sorry." Is she really going through all of this effort just to be my friend, or does she really want to get back together, but is too afraid to say anything?
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