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An OkCupid surprise -- what do I do?


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Posted

Yesterday I was thinking about this girl I had chatted with on OkCupid. Super cute, super smart, really long, interesting conversation, she was into it ... and then she fell off the Earth. Hasn't logged in in almost a year.

 

So I decided to do a little bit of "research" on Facebook. Turns out, one of my (female) friends from high school knows her! Not only that, but after reading our messages again, I realized that she referred to my friend several times, once even as "one of my good friends"!

 

What do you think about me asking my friend about it super-casually, like "Hey ... just curious, do you know someone named _______? We were talking on a dating website and she said she had a friend who ________." I'd really like to talk to this girl again, and I'm hoping that my friend can hook me up to her. On the other hand, I don't want my "homework" to be obvious.

 

Also, she doesn't appear to have logged into Facebook since last summer. I don't know if that will be important.

Posted
OkCupid. ... and then she fell off the Earth. Hasn't logged in in almost a year.

 

Also, she doesn't appear to have logged into Facebook since last summer. I don't know if that will be important.

 

These two things alone would indicate to me that she is probably involved with someone and social networking is not important to her.

 

I'd leave it alone - you might come across as stalkerish.

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Posted

There's no way to approach it casually? I would think that "oh, I just gave you some thought and realized that you probably knew my friend. So I asked her about you." would be fine, no? I don't have to mention Facebook.

Posted

You will be called "creepy"

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Posted
There's no way to approach it casually? I would think that "oh, I just gave you some thought and realized that you probably knew my friend. So I asked her about you." would be fine, no? I don't have to mention Facebook.

 

No, that's really weird when you haven't spoken to her in like a year.

 

I agree that she likely has a BF now, so let it go.

Posted

When I drop off the face of the earth it means I don't care too much.

Posted

Every so often you could check your friend's FB page. She might reappear one day and then maybe think about asking your friend to introduce you. I doubt the woman would remember you from so long ago, which might be a good thing.

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