emilywtf Posted May 5, 2012 Posted May 5, 2012 N- We have had a lot of interesting times in the last 10 years. I truly, truly believed you to be the love of my life. In some respects I still believe that- I simply can't imaging not being with you for the next 30 years. Sadly, sometimes things have to end. You've become abusive, you've cheated, you're an alcoholic. I have to try and come to terms with the fact that I can't make you do anything, I can't make you treat me the way I deserve, I can't make you love me if you don't. I am really sad about this. I am also very scared, mostly due to the void you will leave in my heart and the financial impact of our split. I work part time and go to school full time. With out your support (emotionally and financially) how can I make this work? But I will. I have to. I've held on as long as I can. You said last night you had a date you were excited about. And it wasn't with me... It hurt, so much, but I thought about it and realized that if you are excited about dating other people, then we are done. I cannot be the person that holds you back because I want to hold on so badly and make this work. I love you, I can't do that to you. As the saying goes, "it takes two to tango". So I guess it's time to end this. You have said you want to make it work but if you want to date, then you don't want to make it work that badly. I hate that I am doing this, I hate to give up on what I thought was our epic love, but I have to. You may have been the love of my life, but I am clearly not the love of yours, and I deserve more. E
fucpcg Posted May 5, 2012 Posted May 5, 2012 Welcome to Al-Anon Family Groups Find a meeting in your area, and go. Soon. 1
cflowers32 Posted May 6, 2012 Posted May 6, 2012 Agreed. You do deserve better. I can imagine the pain. I'm very sorry.
Green Light Posted May 6, 2012 Posted May 6, 2012 You said last night you had a date you were excited about. And it wasn't with me... Wow! That is awful. And this was your husband saying this to you? :eek::eek:
jaymz Posted May 6, 2012 Posted May 6, 2012 I can totally relate to this. I am so sorry that it has worked out this way and the pain you are going through. Now is the time to take charge of your life and, over time, that pain will go away. 1
Author emilywtf Posted May 6, 2012 Author Posted May 6, 2012 Last night he was intent on talking about "us". I told him, you don't want this to be fixed, you are dating! And that there is nothing wrong with a relationship ending if one person falls out of love with the other. He made a point of saying "I haven't put my dick in anyone" and that he "sabotaged" the date, but also that he doesn't know what he wants. I was so angry at all that. I actually said I hope no one ever does to him what he did to me because it is horrible and hurts. He got defensive and said someone did, and he is still friends with her. I said, then you didn't have the same thing happen to you. I'm a wreck. I can't concentrate, I keep having dreams about him with other women, or him leaving me. I cry and cannot seem to help myself. He'll say things like he doesn't know what he wants, that he starts relationships with these other women but then they just aren't like me and ends it (which I know not to be true, but anyway). And to make matters worse, I cannot leave. I need his stupid financial support to finish school and he knows it. I honest to God considered living in my car (I've done it before) but when I did the math I realized even then I would not be able to afford to finish school. I could drop school but would not be in a much better financial position because I am an addictions counselor, I make squat, even if I work full time. Ugh. What else is there to say? Just... Ugh.
RedDevil66 Posted May 7, 2012 Posted May 7, 2012 You're an addiction counselor? If you were in the ocean, swimming and a shark was about to attack you, but you knew you could get away if you would drop the sack of rocks that was strapped to you, would you do it? Yes you would! Leave school for now, get a job, leave and then go back to school when you're no longer close to the "shark". Also, find an Al Anon group near you. I've been in Al Anon for close to 3 yrs now. Saved my life and my sanity. My ex was a sick liar and cheater and it only took me once to catch him to say "Buh bye" Was the hardest thing I ever did, but I had enough pride and self respect (with the help of Al anon) to say ENOUGH! If you think this will get better, it won't. He's a sick addict and you're a sick codependent (don't mean this is a bad way). They say in AL Anon, the person who stays with an addict is sicker than the addict. You need to get some help.....don't be afraid
BewitchedandBothered Posted May 7, 2012 Posted May 7, 2012 you need to work full time and go to school part time.
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