leoc1973 Posted May 5, 2012 Posted May 5, 2012 OK so I have been on LS for a long time now. I will keep this short as I can. A year ago my ex broke up with me I was devistated. About 8 months after the breakup an old female friend(i'm male) said hi to me on facebook. She is married but told me that they are mostly roomates and most of the time he doesn't stay there. She would even go on to say she hopes her husband doesn't come home tonight because she then will have to sleep on the couch. She also talked to me till 3 a.m. at times while he was there sleeping in the bed so I am taking her word for lots of things. So we have always known and been attracted to each other ever since high school. We are mid 30's now. One of us have always been in a relationship and neither of us have been cheaters so we never ended up together. Now we start talking and just fall so in love its crazy I don't even think about my ex that brought me to LS anymore and I thought she was the love of my life. But this girl is far beyond the last. She tells me about her feelings and says she waited her whole life for me. OK so we were seeing each other every day but still sneaking around just till the divorce goes through so he doesn't think she all their problems were due to me. She also has 2 children that she doesn't want to hate me. Which brings me to my problem. She still calls every day but I haven't seen her in weeks. She tells me that she has some things she needs to do because she thinks I deserve the woman she used to be and not what this douchebag turned her into. She mentions going to the gym and tanning just in regular conversation so I don't think that is it. She seems to be avoiding me but I actually never call her first just to see if she is trying to phase me out. She always out of nowhere tells me things like her grandmother used to tell her that you just know when you met that one special man and I am him. So my question is... what could she possibly be working on where she has to avoid me? We have already had sex and her body is absolutely perfect so I don't think she's trying to lose weight or is shy about sex. I just don't know... Any Ideas?
2sunny Posted May 5, 2012 Posted May 5, 2012 All words at this point. Don't see her or even communicate with her until her divorce is FINAL. That "douche" didn't turn her into someone else. She IS that person because of HER CHOICES - because of what SHE allowed. Quit blaming her H - there are two people in every marriage. If she's unwilling to take responsibility for the ways she has participated in her M (including "baiting YOU for attention) - you have bigger problems than just her being married. Don't believe a word she says. Watch actions... That tells you everything. She's still there with him. Has she filed for D?
Leegh Posted May 5, 2012 Posted May 5, 2012 It may be mis-communication. You say you never call her first anymore; the way she sees it may be that you are trying to phase her out. I'm sure she's noticed that you're not calling her first anymore. Another possibly is that she's having second thoughts about the father of her kids, sometimes it's more difficult when there are children involved. Possibly if you start calling her, and reassuring her that will help.
LoveTKO Posted May 5, 2012 Posted May 5, 2012 Come on now.....is it that hard to figure out? You were communicating with her on a daily basis and even had sex, but she's avoiding you now? She either didn't enjoy the romantic encounters with you all that much, or she was communicating with other men on FB as well and she's out there testing the waters. If you're sleeping with a woman and you're "hitting it right" so to speak, she's not all of a sudden going to put a seize and desist on seeing you because she needs to "take care of same things" The rule of common sense states that if someone really enjoys you she's going to want to be with you.....married or not. Don't make excuses for her. She moved on....you just didn't do it for her.
Artie Lang Posted May 5, 2012 Posted May 5, 2012 she's stringing you along. she's not at all looking to get out of her marriage, but looking for some action on the side. it sounds like you're developing feelings for her-- DON'T! she seems to be comforatable in these situations. might be a serial cheater.
LoveTKO Posted May 5, 2012 Posted May 5, 2012 she's stringing you along. she's not at all looking to get out of her marriage, but looking for some action on the side. it sounds like you're developing feelings for her-- DON'T! she seems to be comforatable in these situations. might be a serial cheater. Artie...per my previous post, women who troll on FB for hookups with an old "friend" usually target more than one prospect. I'm telling you, she found some other hot guy to rock her world. Whenever a woman puts you on the back burner because she needs to sort things out, or take care of something.....baloney!! Women are very crafty with their stalling tactics. Great liars.....all of them!
Artie Lang Posted May 5, 2012 Posted May 5, 2012 no doubt, Love. women are just as crafty as men are. he's getting played. i can bet she's screwed a few guys at the gym, already.
LoveTKO Posted May 5, 2012 Posted May 5, 2012 no doubt, Love. women are just as crafty as men are. he's getting played. i can bet she's screwed a few guys at the gym, already. Probably! I can tell you some stories about married women at my gym. The cheating and all the games that go on at the gym...?? It's insane . Hooking up with other members, personal trainers, etc. He said that she has a good body, so you know she's flaunting it trying to get attention because of her unhappy marriage. Guys at the gym will charm her and just tear it up!...Hot sex...DNA everywhere....oh the humanity of it all!
Artie Lang Posted May 5, 2012 Posted May 5, 2012 (edited) couldn't have said it better, myself. i don't know why people tend to romanticize an affair. it is what it is- two people not getting what they want within their current relationships - whatever it may be - and stepping outside of it to fulfill their needs-- THAT'S ALL! this sh*t about love is blown waaay out of proportion. people in affairs throw out the word lurvvve like a frisbee on a sunny afternoon. they don't know what love is.....they only know lust. Edited May 5, 2012 by Artie Lang
thomasb Posted May 5, 2012 Posted May 5, 2012 So when did screwing another mans wife give a person the right to call the betrayed spouse names? Personally I see two people here who are acting like douches. And neither is the betrayed husband.
alexandria35 Posted May 5, 2012 Posted May 5, 2012 OK so I have been on LS for a long time now. I will keep this short as I can. A year ago my ex broke up with me I was devistated. About 8 months after the breakup an old female friend(i'm male) said hi to me on facebook. She is married but told me that they are mostly roomates and most of the time he doesn't stay there. She would even go on to say she hopes her husband doesn't come home tonight because she then will have to sleep on the couch. She also talked to me till 3 a.m. at times while he was there sleeping in the bed so I am taking her word for lots of things. How lame. She was so obviously trolling for an affair. I like how so many chaters like to refer to their spouses as nothing more than roommates. Well roommates don't have marriage licenses and kids together. So we have always known and been attracted to each other ever since high school. We are mid 30's now. One of us have always been in a relationship and neither of us have been cheaters so we never ended up together. Now we start talking and just fall so in love its crazy I don't even think about my ex that brought me to LS anymore and I thought she was the love of my life. But this girl is far beyond the last. She tells me about her feelings and says she waited her whole life for me. So this married cheating woman is far beyond the last gf? I think you're right. I think she is worse and she is going to hurt you on an even bigger scale than the last one did. OK so we were seeing each other every day but still sneaking around just till the divorce goes through so he doesn't think she all their problems were due to me. She also has 2 children that she doesn't want to hate me. Of course. When you are cheating and lying to your spouse, it is always best if can make it look like everything is all the betrayed spouses fault. Your gf is adhering to proper affair protocol. Good for her. So she's filed for divorce right? She's moved out of the marital home right? Which brings me to my problem. She still calls every day but I haven't seen her in weeks. She tells me that she has some things she needs to do because she thinks I deserve the woman she used to be and not what this douchebag turned her into. She mentions going to the gym and tanning just in regular conversation so I don't think that is it. She seems to be avoiding me but I actually never call her first just to see if she is trying to phase me out. Douchebag? How nice is that? Are those your words or her. Oh she needs to work on herself alright and it's not a workout or fake tan that she needs. Gee her husband is a douchebag, yet she spends her days tanning and hanging out at the gym and doing other guys. Yeah life sure sounds rough on her. Does she have a job? She always out of nowhere tells me things like her grandmother used to tell her that you just know when you met that one special man and I am him. So my question is... what could she possibly be working on where she has to avoid me? We have already had sex and her body is absolutely perfect so I don't think she's trying to lose weight or is shy about sex. I just don't know... Any Ideas? People don't just start avoiding the love of their life. She's seeing other guys.
Emme Posted May 5, 2012 Posted May 5, 2012 So my question is... what could she possibly be working on where she has to avoid me? She's working on keeping you out of the picture. The family picture. She might be going through a rough patch in her marriage yes... Is there a divorce pending... NO! When she's with you all she hears is bow chicka wow wow. Testing this theory... End all contact until you see divorce papers and this relationship isn't one sided. Good luck hun.
Author leoc1973 Posted May 6, 2012 Author Posted May 6, 2012 OK let me clarify a little. I would never touch another man's woman. Sure on paper its his wife but I really don't care what a piece of paper says. As far as I knew they were done, as in not his woman anymore. He has a girlfriend for gods sake. He mentally and physically abused her. She doesn't go to the gym at all but I meant she would say things like she needs to go to the gym. She was probably fishing for compliments like the "oh you don't need a gym" thing. The only reason they have the same residency is for the kids sake. I am not a fool so when things don't add up I can see. But in her case I have never caught her in any kind of lie she seems to tell me things even though they are embarrassing at times to her. I know I probably shouldn't have gotten involved till the papers were signed and he was out of the house but come on really do you ever find anyone with no previous relationship baggage? Hardly ever. He has another girlfriend and I have been on the phone with her while he was a room away. She's not even sneaking around anymore she told him she is seeing someone. I was thinking more along the line of does she have a freaking herpes outbreak or something. I wasn't trying to get all freudian or whatever over this.
Emme Posted May 6, 2012 Posted May 6, 2012 If he has a girlfriend... Go ring her doorbell. That should solve any doubts you have.
alexandria35 Posted May 6, 2012 Posted May 6, 2012 Well how the hell are we supposed to know if she's having a herpes outbreak? You came here seriously expecting us to know exactly what's wrong with her? All we can do is speculate just like you do. I still say she's playing up to her husband or doing a new guy.
LoveTKO Posted May 6, 2012 Posted May 6, 2012 she's not necessarily doing a new guy but just one of several guys that she rotates. Believe me, she's starving for attention which is evident by her modus operandi flirting with men on FB. This ain't her first rodeo. Oh, and he's mentally and physically abusive but they share a house for the kids' sake? That doesn't pass the smell either now does it? Have you listened to his side of the story or are you assuming that her version of events is gospel? Come on now......people who are on the receiving of mental and physical abuse don't stay living in the same household....it doesn't make sense, and if it doesn't make sense there's more to the story. 1
Artie Lang Posted May 7, 2012 Posted May 7, 2012 I have never caught her in any kind of lie what are you talkin' about.....she's lying to her husband when she bangs you. that's a lie in itself-- you're whole relationship is based on a lie!
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