pink_sugar Posted May 5, 2012 Posted May 5, 2012 So for the longest time, several of my H's relatives have been questioning me about when I will get my drivers license and if I'm learning to drive and etc. That question drives me INSANE! I am in my early 20's and got my license last year. My husband and I have always had one car and I haven't had much need to drive for several years until recently, when both of us got full time jobs. Practically every time I see these relatives, they ask me if I drive or have my license yet. Even when I finally did get my license, they STILL ask me if I drive or how I'm getting places. It's getting really irritating. I'm sure there are more interesting topics to discuss than my mean of transportation. Several of my friends don't have a car or license, they use public transit out of preference, but I can see just having a license for emergency situations. My husband also likes to drive and I don't. I don't see really why it matters so much to them--they don't drive me around. I'm really getting fed up with this now, but don't want to ruin my relationship with the inlaws I do get along with. But one of his relatives continues to ask me facetiously and it's really pissing me off. How do I get them the message to stop asking me without being rude?
CC12 Posted May 5, 2012 Posted May 5, 2012 That doesn't really sound like harassment. Sure you're not being overly sensitive? Asking others in social settings about non-invasive details about their lives (such as "How's the driving going?") is a nice way to make small-talk and show an interest you. It's nice that your in-laws remember things about you. Even if their intentions are to take you down a peg or whatever, making this an issue will make you look loony. Just brush it off.
Author pink_sugar Posted May 5, 2012 Author Posted May 5, 2012 (edited) Well it wouldn't bother me so much if it weren't asked every single time they see me and then try to justify why I absolutely need to drive and get a license. I think when I get my license and how I get certain places is my own business. I already get that from my own family on a weekly basis, so it gets rather annoying to have in-laws doing it too. I know plenty of people who don't drive, but aren't hounded on around the clock about it. Same goes for my own family. They already know I got my license, so that's that. Why do they need to continue to be like "How did you get here, did you drive?" "are you driving yet?" It almost seems like they are stuck in the habit. I've actually told certain relatives I got my license and a few months later, they still say "Are you driving yet, do you have your license?" Well, isn't that what I said a few months ago? LOL Edited May 5, 2012 by pink_sugar
TaraMaiden Posted May 5, 2012 Posted May 5, 2012 Get a t-shirt printed - yellow on black: "No, I do not have my licence yet - no I don't know when I will be getting it - No I don't drive myself anywhere." (yellow on black is the most optically opposite combination, and is a common 'warning - do not approach' colour combo; look at wasps and hornets.... yellow lines on black roads, they're all warning signals.) If you get a t-shirt printed black/yellow with all the answers to the usual questions - maybe they'll see that they need to leave well alone..... 1
CC12 Posted May 5, 2012 Posted May 5, 2012 It almost seems like they are stuck in the habit. That probably has a lot to do with it, actually. Maybe this is one of the few things they really know about you, so they just automatically go there when trying to make conversation with you. Annoying for you, but not so bad in the grand scheme of things. Are you close with the in-laws? I've actually told certain relatives I got my license and a few months later, they still say "Are you driving yet, do you have your license?" Then you can be great and charming and say something silly like, "Oh, haha, Great-aunt Lois, I got my license months ago, remember? I almost hit a tree when I first started learning, but I'm much better at driving now! Thanks for asking. When are you going to let me drive your car?" Maybe there is some derision in the way they ask, but then again, maybe this is a sore spot for you and you just plain don't like being asked about it. If it's the latter, then this is your problem to get over.
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