thatgothicchick Posted May 5, 2012 Posted May 5, 2012 It's finally happened...for my whole life, I have been very very good at respecting the "off limits" zone when it comes to guys who already have a GF...but now, this guy has me absolutely smitten with him...it just kind of happened, without warning...and I can tell, and so can my friends, that he seems to be smitten with me too...but he's taken. Naturally, I am compelled to get him out of my mind as far as becoming a boyfriend goes, but my heart longs for him. I am so, so ready to love, having had my heart broken my whole life, and this man is someone who I could easily see myself falling deeply in love with... And again, he's taken! X( His girlfriend seems nice, and we are nice to each other, though there is much guilt and awkwardness on my part now because of my feelings for him...they have not been together all that long, and I have no clue how well the relationship is going. Maybe they choose to stay low profile, but it just doesn't seem like they are in love, really...I really don't know... Obviously, I am *NOT* going to make a move on him, and not sure what I will do if he makes a move on me...I am aware that perhaps he may a 'record' of doing this to other girls, though I don't know for sure...it's just a possibility... Say he DID break up with her...(which is the only way I am going to pursue this, and I am not going to try to do anything to make this happen either) how long would it be appropriate to wait to get together with him? How would I deal with talking to her afterwords? Am I just doing something horribly wrong in general? Has anyone ever had this happen to them, and CAN it end well? Thanks!
SoMovinOn Posted May 5, 2012 Posted May 5, 2012 In my mind, dating is not "Taken", Married is taken. Dating is the time you spend... shopping. You pick something up in the store, check it out ... you haven't bought it yet. That's what dating is - checking things out, seeing if there is something there.
findingnemo Posted May 5, 2012 Posted May 5, 2012 So the gf is a friend of yours? If not, then I don't really see what the issue is. Obviously you can't make a move on him if he is showing you he is in a R with someone. If he makes a move on you, then it's really your choice whether to see him or not. The one thing I'll caution is to NEVER attempt to hide anything. In fact, if he makes a move, be very open about it. Make it clear to him that you will not play games and expect to date like any normal person. If the gf is your friend, then you have a big problem. What's more important to you? Your friend or some guy who seems attractive right now? I once had to make that choice and I chose my friend. But life worked out in such a way that years later, the guy and I started seeing each other. They were broken up but I still felt guilty. So I did the honest thing and talked to my friend. It turned alright in the end....sort of.
Author thatgothicchick Posted May 5, 2012 Author Posted May 5, 2012 @findingnemo Well, the gf is really more of an acquaintance, I suppose...but it's still very difficult because regardless of whether or not she really is a nice person or not (and she seems to be nice) I don't want to see her get hurt...
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