Faith93 Posted May 5, 2012 Posted May 5, 2012 I heard about this forum from a friend, and thought I'd give it a go. It all started last year, when a friend that I went to school with contacted me, asking how I was going, was I single and stuff like that. It was all fairly innocent, until I was asked if I wanted to sleep with him. I was shocked at first, after thinking he was in a relationship, and happy at that! After swearing black and blue that he was indeed single, I decided to go with it. From then on, we would talk infrequently, always flirting. After a while, things started to get suspicious on facebook, where posts would go up about his girlfriend, but he'd continue telling me his was single, someone has hacked his account. I didn't know what to believe, so I started making up excuses about why we couldn't hook up again. I was too tired, I had work to do, it was that time-of-the-month. A few weeks later, his sister put up a status saying how much she loved spending the day with the happy couple. I saw red. I was so angry that he would lie about it. Why put your relationship in jeopardy? I confronted him about his girlfriend late last year, and he came clean. The whole story. He found it OK to cheat, considering she had cheating on him twice in their relationship. I was just happy he was finally honest with me. A few months passed before we spoke again. In that time, I had a dream that his girlfriend found out. Low and behold, he text me a few nights later. By this time i had come to the conclusion that we could no longer go on with this, even though we had only been together once during this whole time, we were still flirting with each other, and being quite close. I told him that I could no longer go on with feeling guilty, knowing that he probably has this amazing girl he's ruining his relationship with, and I missed us just being friends. He once again told me not to feel guilty, as she had cheated, but also confessed he missed us being friends. This left me torn. I was thrilled i no longer had to continue this, and he missed being friends, but angry i was being used as a revenge mechanism. The next morning, i received two texts from two different numbers. Both saying the same thing. I replied to his number, curious as to what was going on. Instantly i knew it was not him. The person replying from his number had a different way of texting, and i had a feeling it was his girlfriend. After a few more texts, my suspicions were proved correct when my phone rang. Answering, i found a female voice greeting me back. I still can't believe how calm she was, and i remember the conversation word by word. "It stops now" she told me, obviously not knowing about me telling him that the night before. She spoke for a few more minutes, before telling me that she was pregnant with his child, and would not let that go, and hanging up right away. I kind of felt relieved after that. I've realised she doesn't know that we slept together, just that we had been texting, and talking on the phone. If she knew of the physical aspect, I know i'd get my ass handed to me. I'm not sure if she knows who i am, so I dread the day that i see them around. I hope it won't happen. More than anything, I'm afraid of my family finding out. I'm quite ashamed of the whole thing. Knowing that he had a girl, but flirting back because i liked the attention i was getting. Never again will I put myself in such a position. I don't need the guilt, and I can do so much better. I've since ignored texts from him, and that in itself feels great. An achievement. I don't need some infrequent attention to be happy. I'm not here to ask for advice, I just needed a place to vent, get it all out, where i would not (at least i hope so) be judged. -Faith.
woinlove Posted May 5, 2012 Posted May 5, 2012 More than anything, I'm afraid of my family finding out. I'm quite ashamed of the whole thing. Often having those who love us find out, or just talking to them about it, is a positive. Harboring a secret and shame can lower one's self-esteem, while getting it out into the open may help one process the whole event, learn from it, and move on. What's important is what you think of yourself - what do you need to feel good about yourself. That could involve talking to others about your choices.
Artie Lang Posted May 5, 2012 Posted May 5, 2012 you did good in breaking it off. i think the short duration of the this relationship made it easier to detach. Stay NC, at all times. under no circumstances should you engage this person again. ever!
mercy Posted May 5, 2012 Posted May 5, 2012 No judging here lass. It's okay to feel shame for the wrong we do but please don't let it drag on. Forgive yourself - soon. Maybe confiding in a family member will help you. Reach out to someone in your real life that you can trust. You need that, it'll help you to heal. And vent away!
Author Faith93 Posted May 8, 2012 Author Posted May 8, 2012 Thank you do much for the kind words, And support . I had been worried posting on here, About the reaction I would recieve, but I'm thankful now I did . I forgot to mention, my best friend knows about the situation, so I also have support in every day life aswell. She has been amazing throughout the situation, and her unwavering trust and support amazes me. Thank you again for the support, it really has helped me realise what a stupid position I got myself into, and that I never need to subject myself to that again. Forever grateful, and support to everyone, -Faith
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