c0nfused88 Posted May 5, 2012 Posted May 5, 2012 I was in a long term relationship for several years with my ex-boyfriend. We were both young when we started dating and virgins. We have been separated for a few months but still get along very well as friends. There is a chance we could get back together (although I need time to be on my own). I am wondering if I get back together with him if I should mention that I had sex with other men when we were apart? I only bring this up since we were only with eachother before (and I'm nearly 100% certain he isn't sleeping with anyone else now). Also, if we get back together and jump back into no-condom sex (I'm on the pill).. I am wondering if I should tell him. I imagine it would hurt him. If he asked I wouldn't want to lie but I'm just not sure if I should volunteer that information. Certainly with any partners I see before I might get back with him I'd be safe-- and would get tested before we were back together. To tell him or not to?
mesmerized Posted May 5, 2012 Posted May 5, 2012 Do you think he would want to know? And how are you sure he is not sleeping with anybody now? I think he most probably is and is just not telling you.
runner Posted May 5, 2012 Posted May 5, 2012 if you're mind is on him and on the possibility of reconciling, it seems a bit douchey that you're out sowing your oats. but whatever. if it's cos your young and just want to see what else is out there, then more power to you. not sure what you should do about telling him or not so i'll leave it at that.
Yookie Posted May 5, 2012 Posted May 5, 2012 Go get tested and leave it at that. No need to talk about that unless he asks. Believe me, if he is smart, he really doesn't want to know.
FitChick Posted May 5, 2012 Posted May 5, 2012 If you both agreed to split up, it is assumed you would both be dating. You don't owe each other any explanations. I'd avoid the topic altogether.
newmoon Posted May 6, 2012 Posted May 6, 2012 i would tell him. especially if this is a second-chance relationship you should do everything you can to set it right immediately and start with honesty. you also run the risk that one of the men you hav ecasually dated could contact you in the presence of the boyfriend/ex and then you'd have some explaining to do anyway. when you're on a break it should be assumed that you can date and be with others and never be so sure he hasn't been ... men (typically) will find a partner very quickly while on a 'break'
Ninjainpajamas Posted May 6, 2012 Posted May 6, 2012 Don't tell him, he's likely going to judge you in a very negative light. Just make sure you didn't catch any cooties and you're good to go. Women should say very little about their sexual past, and a man should automatically anticipate the worst It's easier that way.
TaraMaiden Posted May 6, 2012 Posted May 6, 2012 Well, from my PoV, this depends on a number of factors: Are you on a break - or actually broken up? If you DO anticipate getting back together - given that you've been apart for a 'few months ....but you still need time on your own' - when would you suppose this 'getting back together' would be? Six months? In a year? Two Years? See.... if you are 'broken up' and not 'on a break' - then neither of you can seriously expect the other to be celibate, faithful, forever true, and save yourselves for yourselves alone.... IF (and it's a huge 'if, though I can't see it myself ) you DO get back together - go with the "ask no questions and you'll be told no lies" motto. Keep things close to your chest - and tell him you don't want to know his details either. 1
amantis Posted May 6, 2012 Posted May 6, 2012 if i was going to start dating you AGAIN i would like to know if you had sex with other guys . I would not date you again . I dont know why , maybe im wrong here but if i knew that my ex had sex with other guys and then she wanted to get back again , its a big turn off for me , and no i dont care about the past , im talking here about me and my ex start dating again
phineas Posted May 6, 2012 Posted May 6, 2012 if i was going to start dating you AGAIN i would like to know if you had sex with other guys . I would not date you again . I dont know why , maybe im wrong here but if i knew that my ex had sex with other guys and then she wanted to get back again , its a big turn off for me , and no i dont care about the past , im talking here about me and my ex start dating again Yep. First off I would never agree to a "break" we are together or broken up. Period. If broken up I see no reason to be in contact with you any more. If a woman breaks up with me so she can sleep with another guy she will be nothing more than a FWB if she comes back.
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