James1977 Posted May 4, 2012 Posted May 4, 2012 My wife and I are in high credit card debt, she like to spend on nice things (furniture, car, clothes, etc) I am more frugal and would like to live within our means. She now wants me to commit to signing a mortgage to buy a $300,000 house in 2 years (I am the closest one to qualify for a mortgage), I told her I won't sign a mortgage that is going to put us closer to financial calalmity. We've been married 7 years and I've tried to accept her spending habits and go along with the purchases she wants to make. She says I can't commit to this because I don't love her enough. I've explained I'm doing this for our financial security, but she doesn't understand. She has brought up us splitting up, and I said if she thinks she would be happier doing that, I would go along. She won't actually say she definitely wants to get divorced and insteads says I really want the divorce and this is a way of trying to get rid of her, and this is all about me. She also says that she is screwed either way, if she stays with me I won't commit to the nice house in 2 years, and she won't be able to get it on her own if we split. Also she says that she will never find love again and will never have the nice things she wants. Also, I'm a Christian and she won't let me to church. I don't want to get divorced, but I am miserable and I want happiness and security for myself. Any advice is appreciated.
stillafool Posted May 4, 2012 Posted May 4, 2012 Can you hire a financial counselor or something to sit down with the two of you and advise you if this is a good idea or not? 2
Author James1977 Posted May 4, 2012 Author Posted May 4, 2012 We could - I feel like I know what he would say. Right now our spending is so high that we have to use credit cards to get by, and my stance is I won't sign a mortgage that increases our monthly expenses when we can't already meet them in the first place. If we are in a place where we can afford the kind of house she wants in two years, I will do it, but I can't guarantee we'll be there and she wants a guarantee.
quankanne Posted May 4, 2012 Posted May 4, 2012 maybe that's the best scenario right now: Seeing a finance counselor who will lay it out in black and white so that your wife understands what's going on, as told by an uninterested third party. It could be that because there's always been money to fund her spending, she thinks you're just being "mean" by not wanting the $300K house. does she have her own source of income?
threebyfate Posted May 4, 2012 Posted May 4, 2012 This makes no sense. If your credit card debt is so high, you won't qualify for a mortgage.
Leegh Posted May 4, 2012 Posted May 4, 2012 Happiness does not come from buying things, your wife should know better. She sounds totally irresponsible. I could understand if she wanted a new outfit every so often, but it sounds like her spending is out of control, and she's probably not any happier for it. Can you get credit cards in separate names, that way you're not responsible for her debt?
Steen719 Posted May 5, 2012 Posted May 5, 2012 How does one person keep another person from going to church unless she has you locked in the house?
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