waiting4u Posted May 4, 2012 Posted May 4, 2012 I'd post this on the breakup forum but it seems filled with sad dumpees and I'm just not that person right now. I broke up with my boyfriend Monday night - we'd known each other a while and we are still on speaking terms (although I'm just trying to be amiable and he wants to get back together), but we literally only dated maybe 3 months. He pushed it really fast - wanted to be "in a relationship" on Facebook, wanted to stay with me, went public with all his friends, wined and dined me, sent me poems, etc. I knew something was off from the beginning. I later find out he's a compulsive liar and has some huge issues. I broke it off because it wasn't right and frankly I'm disgusted with myself that I got into the whole thing in the first place. Thing is - most weekends I hang out at what I call my "corner pub" although it's not really a pub, but a trendy restaurant / bar. He is a manager there (that's how we first met), but he has taken a "leave of absence." I know he's really upset (although I find the leave of absence a bit melodramatic) and I'm trying to help him by being his friend. I've talked with a cocktail waitress there who I'm friends with as well as another friend who is a regular, and they both say I'm totally welcome to come up there and drink and it's no big deal. Nobody is angry at me. I'd like to go out tonight - I'm a little down and need a pick me up. Do you think it's bad, rude or whatever to go up there and have a few drinks tonight? I know he won't be there, but I'm afraid of how I will be treated - like I'm the evil witch who broke his heart or something. Is it bad form or whatever? Thoughts? Another thing that's crossed my mind is that this "leave of absence" is a lie and he will be working if I show up. He is a huge liar and has lied about several things AFTER the breakup to try and get me to feel sorry about him. I won't go into all that - it's just nuts. Aren't I entitled to go to my favorite place and have a drink? Or have I screwed it up forever?
veggirl Posted May 4, 2012 Posted May 4, 2012 He's the one who started dating a customer. He shouldn't have. It's not your fault. I say go out. OMG a leave of absense for a 3 mo relationship. Is it wrong that I laughed at that? He def could've made that up, but so what, just go and enjoy yourself. Every adult has had Rs end, I don't think they will think you are evil.
TaraMaiden Posted May 4, 2012 Posted May 4, 2012 Don't try to be his friend. Big mistake. Big. HUGE. This is the one thing dumpees really don't need. By all means keep frequenting the place - don't change your lifestyle over this - but absolutely, completely, totally ignore him, don't give him the time of day, don't speak to him, don't deal with him and don't give him false hope. just carry on as if nothing had happened - but whatever you do, do not be his friend.
Author waiting4u Posted May 4, 2012 Author Posted May 4, 2012 Yeah, he's such a drama queen. He's making a spectacle on Facebook too. I'm so freaking embarrassed about the whole thing. At first I was impressed that he seemed to like me so much - I'm so used to emotionally unavailable men - but this guy is so emotional it's ridiculous.
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