dandan89 Posted May 4, 2012 Posted May 4, 2012 Basically I'm always fighting my heart as when I see something I know she likes I always want to get it for her. Not to try and win her back by buying her stuff but because I love her with all my heart even 3 months after the break up. I pretty much never give in to buying her stuff but last month I asked if we could hang out for the day and she didn't think it would be a good idea but agreed and ended up surprising/shocking her and taking her to London to see the Lion King which she loved. This only gave me great satisfaction (how sad is that!) but at the same time it was hard as I couldn't hold her like I could when we were together. But anyway I failed again today but on a very small scale. I bought her a little Cockatoo soft toy (we got a Cockatoo when we were together and she misses him so much). So yeah, give me your opinions and experiences! And yes I know it isn't healthy! 1
without Posted May 4, 2012 Posted May 4, 2012 how sweet is that...and unhealthy...if you keep doing these you'll only hurt yourself and you'll postpone the healing.
BewitchedandBothered Posted May 4, 2012 Posted May 4, 2012 Basically I'm always fighting my heart as when I see something I know she likes I always want to get it for her. Not to try and win her back by buying her stuff but because I love her with all my heart even 3 months after the break up. I pretty much never give in to buying her stuff but last month I asked if we could hang out for the day and she didn't think it would be a good idea but agreed and ended up surprising/shocking her and taking her to London to see the Lion King which she loved. This only gave me great satisfaction (how sad is that!) but at the same time it was hard as I couldn't hold her like I could when we were together. But anyway I failed again today but on a very small scale. I bought her a little Cockatoo soft toy (we got a Cockatoo when we were together and she misses him so much). So yeah, give me your opinions and experiences! And yes I know it isn't healthy! I get what you are saying; you have a good and kind heart--don't waste on this person any longer. It will prolong your healing. 2
Author dandan89 Posted May 5, 2012 Author Posted May 5, 2012 Thanks guys -don't waste on this person any longer. It will prolong your healing. I know you're right but I can't help it! Like I said I never generally give in to the things I want to give or do for her. Logic tells me she does not deserve my love and attention but the heart says different:love: 1
BewitchedandBothered Posted May 5, 2012 Posted May 5, 2012 Thanks guys I know you're right but I can't help it! Like I said I never generally give in to the things I want to give or do for her. Logic tells me she does not deserve my love and attention but the heart says different:love: Listen to logic and reason:) I went through the same feelings as you; the difference is my ex is borderline personality; he was very hurtful and verbally/mentally abusive. There were some sweet times and once, when I was lost in thinking of the nice times, I came across a kaleidoscope that reminded me of him. Once when we were window shopping, he saw one and was mesmerized by it. I thought I would get it to surprise him...I didn't, LOL!!!! Another time, I thought I would send him flowers as a peace offering,but quickly realized that he owed me those things. He had given me pain and most was intentional...he wouldn't deserve gum from the bottom of my shoe---THAT logic saved me , LOL:)
Author dandan89 Posted May 5, 2012 Author Posted May 5, 2012 Yeah I spose when you look at it like that it makes sense. It's different in my case as she was really nice and caring other than dropping me like a stone when she didn't feel it anymore. But I can't argue with her feelings unfortunately. In a horrible way I think it would be easier if she wasn't nice to me.
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