mtcrsx28 Posted May 4, 2012 Posted May 4, 2012 i have been dating my girlfriend for 5 months, lately i have been feeling differently i cant describe the feeling other than just "different" but i still love her and care about her alot if that makes sense i think she is a great girlfriend im really attracted to her personality and appearance so im not sure whats going on but i know something just isnt right. im 20 years old and this is not my first relationship and she is hands down the nicest most loyal girlfriend that i have had that really seems to care about "me". We have been spending every second with each other since we started dating until last week i was sleeping at her house every night, i try to back away but these feeling are not always there so as soon as i feel happy with her i go right back to hangout with her it sounds stupid but its just a really bad cycle i feel i have myself caught in. has anyone else experienced this? or have any advice i dont want to leave her but this is really bothering me i have been thinking about it constantly...my head tells me that were spending way to much time together and all i need to do is take a serious step back with her, would spending less time together make my feelings for her become stronger and more clear??? im in need of some advice thank you. some times i feel that im in denial and just need to break up with her but other times i truly feel that i will get over this. i have had this same feeling before and it went away previously and i felt huge relief that i didnt break up with her.
jennisfora Posted May 4, 2012 Posted May 4, 2012 (edited) i think a little time away could give you some clarity. if you are spending every second of free time, i feel it will be detrimental to the relationship. it is normal to do that at first while you are getting to know someone, but eventually you start running into problems. you need some time to yourself to recharge and recoup. i would recommend talking to her about it. try to set up at least one day where you each hang with your friends, and not each other, and do something fun. the next day you will each have had an adventure or experience that you can share with each other. it seems backward, but actually having a life outside the relationship will actually bring you closer. because you will bond more over the sharing of your experiences. if you spend all the time together, things like resentment, being taken for granted, boredom tend to pop up. so, i recommend establishing a "date" night for yourself. and for her, she needs to do something fun with her friends too, so that you both will have something to share when you meet again. also, this will break up any stale routine that has been developing. you need to keep that lust for life and adventure, don't settle for monotony. if she is on board with this, you both will be happier. if she feels threatens by spending time away, try to keep in mind, that if you isolate each other, and let friendships and hobbies drift, then if it does end, it will hurt one of you more, the one that is the most isolated will feel like their whole life is destroyed. it really is better for both of you to at least try it. just reassure her that you love her just as much, but that you don't want to lose yourself or your life, that you need to bring new experiences in to make things even better. make it not scary, if you can. women are terrified of men pulling away. so, hopefully she will understand, get her to try it. *hugs* Edited May 4, 2012 by jennisfora
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