Strange situation post break-up

[firecracker4]

My girlfriend broke up with me about 3 weeks back..we had been living together and I stayed at her place for two more days after the breakup since I tried to mend things (as my silly actions had led to the breakup)..But things could not be mended the way I wanted and she said it was a half-breakup.

 

A half-breakup does not mean a thing and I told her its over for good..I asked her if we could remain friends (bad choice) and she said that we will see how it goes in the future. So we went our original ways and came back to the two different countries we lived in.

 

As soon as I came back home, she started telling me on facebook how her life is now going to be. Obviously, I was pissed off and told her we should not chat. I then decide to delete/block on her fb so she doesnt bother me again (we have a few mutual friends on facebook).

 

I also then decided at the same time to set up a call with her and told her that I dont want her in front of my face and hence, decided to block her.

 

On the same call, I told her that I gave the breakup a thought and thought that things wouldnt have worked out and it was a good decision to breakup. And then we said our goodbyes for good.

 

I have been on no contact for about two weeks now and am going through the healing process. But sometimes I feel guilty about telling her myself that her's was a right decision to breakup. In a way, I feel I justified her decision to breakup which puts her on a higher pedestal. I know she felt a lot of pain to lose me (she even said that) but there is no way I feel like being treated in a fair manner by her.

 

Now, what does bother me is the fact that I justified the breakup when I shouldnt have. It was for me a way to justify the breakup to myself but I should have not told her that. That makes her feel her decision was right and leaves her with less pain than I am going through. That to me is unbearable. As a result, I feel like contacting her and in one way or the other, make her feel how much she should regret the breakup (she mentioned at one point as me being the love of her life).

 

Now, I find myself in a situation where I have been keeping NC and at the same time feeling the need to remind her how bad a decision of her's it was to breakup with me. Need advice on what step to take next.

 

Thanks

[Philosoraptor]

If you really feel like it was the right choice then it matters not how she feels. If you ever cared about her you need to wish her the best in her healing and wish you both the best in finding what you want out of this world.