Spark1111 Posted May 11, 2012 Posted May 11, 2012 Do you feel like if the parents were former cheaters(in the past), they would be more willing to meet/accept an affair partner of their own child? That certainly could play a part in how they meet and treat an affair partner. I think in my fWS's case, that family adored me. But the whole family are secret keepers and conflict avoiders. The apples do not fall far from the tree. My SIL, for reasons of being both helpful and conflict avoidant, kept his secret mmmmm....crush should we call it? from her siblings and from me. Bad move. My daughter is polite but the relationship is damaged. My children will never trust their dear aunt as they once did. I raised them to be honest and above board and to express their feelings and just get it out there....to not avoid conflict. Bottom line? He minimized, white washed and never even told his sister the truth of his involvment with the OW. And that is learned behavior from childhood, especially when everyone has to be "perfect" and negative behaviors are whitewashed, and true expression of unhappiness is never encouraged or brought out in the open, and children are taught to keep secrets because it may upset mommy, or daddy, or auntie. Bad parenting, even if done to spare pain or avoid conflict, creates conflict avoiding poor comunicators.....mmmm, like many cheaters.... Like I said, apples do not fall far from trees.
Author beenburned Posted May 11, 2012 Author Posted May 11, 2012 My STBXSIL's mother was a serial cheater in the early years of her marriage. It was what eventually caused their divorce. I don't know if STBXSIL ever brought either of his OW to meet any of his family. I kind of doubt it, as all of his entire family adored my D. We all are doing everything possible to ensure my grandaughter's life is as close to normal as possible. We still sit with STBXSIL's family at all of GD's ball games. SB, Good post! Spark, I do agree that conflict avoiders and being passive-agressive are learned behaviors in FOO!
cocorico Posted May 11, 2012 Posted May 11, 2012 . Like I said, apples do not fall far from trees. This is a good thing. His family are lovely and so is he. I am so blessed he chose to share them with me.
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