Savaris Posted May 4, 2012 Posted May 4, 2012 (edited) How can I change someones mindset who once saw me as a sexual being(those are her words btw, she told me that she has no clue why bec she thinks im very sexy, handsome, i make her laugh but something sexual is missing) so i guess its because of my behaviour and due to my lack of effort to actually get her into bed and do things with her and talk dirty to her (I was nervous didnt want to rush things) she began to see me more as a friend instead of a lover. We did date for like 4 months(I know, i know stupid me) But we care deeply for eachother, I want more, she just wants to stay friends now. I told her that we have to go our own ways then and broke off contact (like 6 days ago now) I didnt beg or anything, just told her straight of the bat. Would the best thing now just to let her contact me and back off a bit? act like im busy? cuz I want to show her that im indeed a lover like she used to see me, but due to my stupidness and by holding back a lot i coudnt show it to her.. and shes all like I just want to stay friends now:/ Edited May 4, 2012 by Savaris
carhill Posted May 4, 2012 Posted May 4, 2012 Friendship is generally a mutual interest in each other which revolves around shared philosophies, beliefs and interests outside of the friendship. A platonic synergy. If she dated you for four months and now wants to 'be friends', accept it and date other women. If NC is your way of breaking your own emotional bond with her, do that. You won't 'change her mind' by any action or word. You apparently gave it your best shot. I'm sure, as a friend, she will be happy for you and supportive of your dating pursuits. Healthy female friends are. Life goes on.
Emilia Posted May 4, 2012 Posted May 4, 2012 . Would the best thing now just to let her contact me and back off a bit? act like im busy? cuz I want to show her that im indeed a lover like she used to see me, but due to my stupidness and by holding back a lot i coudnt show it to her.. and shes all like I just want to stay friends now:/ So Tara Maiden and I were right, she doesn't want to get back together with you. Savaris please listen. Seriously. This boat has sailed, ok? You HAVE to find another girl. This will never work out. Never
Author Savaris Posted May 15, 2012 Author Posted May 15, 2012 (edited) Yes Emilia, thanks for helping me really appreciate it. I didnt quite understand NC.. but im just ignoring her right now.. we'll see what happens, in the meanwhile im just going to get over her.. You know what made me so defensive? That your saying it's IMPOSSIBLE to get back together, ever. While i believe nothings impossible.. I know a friend that had something similiar happen to him, while everyone said it was impossible they got back together eventually, so that's living proof that nothings impossible in life, anything can happen. Who knows that in like 1-3 months the roles could change and she would want to get back with me.. or we just both move on and thats that.. you never know. So never say never because anything could happen. I know that shes in to me, I know that she thinks im one of a kind.. who says that she woudnt want to try in the future again? In the meanwhile Im not sitting around moping, im living life.. im working out and you know what? if I find something better so be it. And if she's the one i'll definitely will see her again. Edited May 15, 2012 by Savaris
Emilia Posted May 16, 2012 Posted May 16, 2012 'Impossible' isn't always the case no but I think you have tried enough times. You have to know when to throw in the towel. There comes a point when trying is not good for you anymore.
Mrlonelyone Posted May 16, 2012 Posted May 16, 2012 Just let her go and date other people. Remember we are social creatures and value what other people want. Date other women and forget about her she may come back if the other deal (there is always another guy/gal) is a dud. By then you may or may not have moved on. I hate that "friend" has become a way to reject someone. It's a perversion of language.
Author Savaris Posted May 16, 2012 Author Posted May 16, 2012 Yeah, I did try a few times because I found out what was missing even before she admitted it to me. Anyways im not going to try again.. if she wants to come back it'll be her choice
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