Woggle Posted May 4, 2012 Posted May 4, 2012 I laugh at anyone who uses this place as a real life example of how men and women are to each other. It is a good example. I am not going to lay all the blame on either gender but it is clear that gender relations these days are not good. Go to any board and there is tons of animosity. I am just telling it like it is.
Pyro Posted May 4, 2012 Posted May 4, 2012 It is a good example. I am not going to lay all the blame on either gender but it is clear that gender relations these days are not good. Go to any board and there is tons of animosity. I am just telling it like it is. and what about the millions of couples out there who don't even bother with online message boards? They are out there living and enjoying each others company. Believe what you want but this place (or online in general) is not a representation of real life. 2
Woggle Posted May 4, 2012 Posted May 4, 2012 and what about the millions of couples out there who don't even bother with online message boards? They are out there living and enjoying each others company. Believe what you want but this place (or online in general) is not a representation of real life. There are plenty of happy couples but it is clear that there are serious issues in male/female relationships these days. Why is this so hard for people to admit? Some of you just seem to have your head in the sand. Look at any relationship board or any article relating to gender. People can keep on pretending things are just fine and dandy in relationships though. When we ignore tensions like this things just explode and the gender situation in our society is coming to that point.
Pyro Posted May 4, 2012 Posted May 4, 2012 There are plenty of happy couples but it is clear that there are serious issues in male/female relationships these days. Why is this so hard for people to admit? Some of you just seem to have your head in the sand. Look at any relationship board or any article relating to gender. People can keep on pretending things are just fine and dandy in relationships though. When we ignore tensions like this things just explode and the gender situation in our society is coming to that point. I could sit here, just like you and spend countless hours searching the web for articles and other message boards that have to do with men and women hating each other but instead I will choose to focus my energy and emotions on MY relationship and keep that as amazing as it has been. Is it possible Woggle that you being cynical and pessimistic (for the most part) has to do with all the time and energy you focus on the negatives of OTHER people and their relationships? In all honesty I am surprised that your marriage is still going strong (according to you)
Woggle Posted May 4, 2012 Posted May 4, 2012 My marriage is going great but my point about society still stands. I am sure there were close black and white friendships during the time of Rodney King and the LA Riots but that doesn't make the tension that existed any less real. When you ignore polarization like that you end up with those kinds of explosions though I think with male/female relationships it is more of an implosion. Every year there fewer and fewer happy couples.
Pyro Posted May 4, 2012 Posted May 4, 2012 My marriage is going great but my point about society still stands. I am sure there were close black and white friendships during the time of Rodney King and the LA Riots but that doesn't make the tension that existed any less real. When you ignore polarization like that you end up with those kinds of explosions though I think with male/female relationships it is more of an implosion. Every year there fewer and fewer happy couples. and again I wonder why you focus so much of your attention to other couples instead of your own. To stay on topic of this thread.....do you remember just how happy you felt when you let your guard down a bit and talked to your wife about your trust issues? Go from there and focus on YOUR relationship.
Woggle Posted May 4, 2012 Posted May 4, 2012 and again I wonder why you focus so much of your attention to other couples instead of your own. To stay on topic of this thread.....do you remember just how happy you felt when you let your guard down a bit and talked to your wife about your trust issues? Go from there and focus on YOUR relationship. I was and am very happy but our happy relationship does not negate what is happening with the rest of society. It's not that I obsess over it but this thread is about people with walls up and I am trying to give an example of why.
threebyfate Posted May 4, 2012 Posted May 4, 2012 I was and am very happy but our happy relationship does not negate what is happening with the rest of society. It's not that I obsess over it but this thread is about people with walls up and I am trying to give an example of why.Rationally, your perspective defies logic. If you're capable of being in a happy relationship considering all your baggage which even you have to admit is ginormous, why can't the average person who hasn't experienced as much as you, be in a happy relationship? You're projecting your internal insecurities onto the rest of society.
Pyro Posted May 4, 2012 Posted May 4, 2012 I was and am very happy but our happy relationship does not negate what is happening with the rest of society. It's not that I obsess over it but this thread is about people with walls up and I am trying to give an example of why. I can almost guarantee that most people with 'walls' up are not sitting there and thinking about the current state of gender relations in society.
Woggle Posted May 4, 2012 Posted May 4, 2012 Rationally, your perspective defies logic. If you're capable of being in a happy relationship considering all your baggage which even you have to admit is ginormous, why can't the average person who hasn't experienced as much as you, be in a happy relationship? You're projecting your internal insecurities onto the rest of society. Some people are not as strong as I am I guess. I think many people would benefit from giving up their bitterness but the fact still stands that men and women are becoming increasingly polarized and at odds with each other.
Woggle Posted May 4, 2012 Posted May 4, 2012 I can almost guarantee that most people with 'walls' up are not sitting there and thinking about the current state of gender relations in society. They might not think about it but those walls are still a product of it.
threebyfate Posted May 4, 2012 Posted May 4, 2012 Some people are not as strong as I am I guess. I think many people would benefit from giving up their bitterness but the fact still stands that men and women are becoming increasingly polarized and at odds with each other.Do you realize what you're doing Woggle? You're attempting to vampire self-esteem through belief that you're one of the few who's lifted yourself above the rest. Unfortunately, it's not a true reflection of reality.
Woggle Posted May 4, 2012 Posted May 4, 2012 Do you realize what you're doing Woggle? You're attempting to vampire self-esteem through belief that you're one of the few who's lifted yourself above the rest. Unfortunately, it's not a true reflection of reality. I don't mean it that way but I do notice that I am one of the few who can rise above it and have a happy and committed relationship with a woman when that concept seems to be dying.
Pyro Posted May 4, 2012 Posted May 4, 2012 They might not think about it but those walls are still a product of it. if that is what you choose to believe then so be it. Bottom line is that if you believe that an online message board such is this place is a representation of real life then that explains your trust issues. Most people here have trust issues of some sort and if you believe that to be the norm then you are one of them.
threebyfate Posted May 4, 2012 Posted May 4, 2012 I don't mean it that way but I do notice that I am one of the few who can rise above it and have a happy and committed relationship with a woman when that concept seems to be dying.Bolded for emphasis.
Woggle Posted May 5, 2012 Posted May 5, 2012 Bolded for emphasis. Well explain why I am able to have a successful and lasting relationship in a society where couples can barely stay together for a couple of years? I am not saying I am the only one but most people these days seem incapable of having healthy relationships.
threebyfate Posted May 5, 2012 Posted May 5, 2012 Well explain why I am able to have a successful and lasting relationship in a society where couples can barely stay together for a couple of years? I am not saying I am the only one but most people these days seem incapable of having healthy relationships.Because this is a break up/divorce/affair/what's wrong with me/can't date relationship site. It's much like going to a Roman Catholic site and announcing the world is RC and why am I the only atheist? Come on Woggle, you know better than that.
Woggle Posted May 5, 2012 Posted May 5, 2012 Because this is a break up/divorce/affair/what's wrong with me/can't date relationship site. It's much like going to a Roman Catholic site and announcing the world is RC and why am I the only atheist? Come on Woggle, you know better than that. It is not only on this forum. Just look around you and ask yourself how many happy couples you know.
threebyfate Posted May 5, 2012 Posted May 5, 2012 It is not only on this forum. Just look around you and ask yourself how many happy couples you know.Since I'm surrounded by happy couples in much longer marriages than you and I, what does that say?
Woggle Posted May 5, 2012 Posted May 5, 2012 Since I'm surrounded by happy couples in much longer marriages than you and I, what does that say? You happen to be lucky enough to surrounded by that. Most of my life I have seen the opposite.
threebyfate Posted May 5, 2012 Posted May 5, 2012 You happen to be lucky enough to surrounded by that. Most of my life I have seen the opposite.Or maybe it's the difference in our attitudes since most of my life, I've been surrounded by happy couples. Is it possible that you focus on the negatives within relationships where I focus on the positives and the negatives? Let's say that someone else's wife makes one critical remark about men or her husband. Do you deem her as a misandrist in an unhappy marriage?
ON MY OWN Posted May 5, 2012 Posted May 5, 2012 (edited) Some people choose not to play the game anymore. Others I think need time and to really see not every person, sex or situation is identical. It has to do with getting an open mind again. Nothing in this life is a guarentee and love is a risk and you have to learn to put faith in someone. Sometimes people will get into something that is not right for them and respectfully get out of it, its called dating. =) We have to sometimes go through a few situations to know what is right for us. Edited May 5, 2012 by ON MY OWN
Anela Posted May 5, 2012 Posted May 5, 2012 I am one of these people, but I do see it. The walls go up and down, depending on what I feel I can handle at any given time. 2
Woggle Posted May 5, 2012 Posted May 5, 2012 Or maybe it's the difference in our attitudes since most of my life, I've been surrounded by happy couples. Is it possible that you focus on the negatives within relationships where I focus on the positives and the negatives? Let's say that someone else's wife makes one critical remark about men or her husband. Do you deem her as a misandrist in an unhappy marriage? Probably. If you heard one of your friend's husbands trashing women wouldn't you call him a misogynist?
threebyfate Posted May 5, 2012 Posted May 5, 2012 Probably. If you heard one of your friend's husbands trashing women wouldn't you call him a misogynist?No, most of my male friends make critical remarks about women here and there where most often, they're kidding around. As long as it's not a consistent pattern of serious criticism against women or their wives, I shrug it off. My parents are always zinging and teasing each other but their love is palpable. If it weren't a gross thought, their teasing sometimes gets to the level of near foreplay.
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