Eternal Sunshine Posted May 4, 2012 Posted May 4, 2012 Aghhhhhh stupid dating. I met this Italian guy at social table tennis evening. He was a new and within an hour of chatting he asked me for my number and asked me out. I am not sure how interested I am, I barely know anything about him, but he seems cute so I said yes. This went down Weds evening. Thursday - I don't hear from him and I am actually glad (does this mean I shouldn't be dating?). He seemed a bit too keen and I thought he may be one of those guys that text 24/7. But no, he isn't like that. Today - Friday, he texts me with plans for Sat night. He wants me to meet him at a restaurant that's 5 mins from his home. We live 45mins away and I thought that was not cool. Besides not wanting to drive that long, I also don't want to go to his place after (which is the perfect set up given his pick of the restaurant). So I respond a bit bluntly that I don't want to drive that far and suggest a place that's half way between us. He doesn't respond all day. I am thinking meh, a write off (and again instead of feeling rejected I feel kind of glad that I won't be going on a date and will have a day to myself ). But alas, I just get an e-mail from him to ask me why I haven't responded to his text. I did, and double check that the text was sent. Everything looks fine. I respond to his e-mail and re-iterate that I want to meet at the place half-way. Dead silence. I text him "helooooo did this text went through?" Silence. This is just all a turn off. He seems not to be getting my texts (how is that even technologically possible?) or pretending not to. Man, I hate dating.
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted May 4, 2012 Author Posted May 4, 2012 To be honest, what he's looking for isn't dating. He saw an opportunity to make you come to him so he wouldn't have to expend much effort at all. Then, as you suspect, his very next suggestion after dinner would be to go to his place for a nightcap because he's hoping to get lucky. And if he did get lucky, he then gets to fall asleep while you dress, get back in your car, and drive that 45 minutes back home at 2 am. This guy is SO transparent - every time you suggested a restaurant equadistant to the both of you, all you heard was crickets. Haha thank you for confirming that I am not being paranoid! No, I can read guys well, I am not naive anymore.
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted May 4, 2012 Author Posted May 4, 2012 So he called and said how strange it is that he never received my first text. Said no problem to meeting half way and apologized if he was being inconsiderate...
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted May 4, 2012 Author Posted May 4, 2012 I am not dating him, it's just one date. I will see him tomorrow and if I am not feeling it - that will be it.
InJest Posted May 4, 2012 Posted May 4, 2012 I call bull****. You'll probably string the guy along for at least another week or two.
carhill Posted May 4, 2012 Posted May 4, 2012 I have a suggestion for the OP. When one of these 'dating issues' comes up, give it a few days (I'd push for a week but perhaps that's too much) to resolve before posting a thread. This shows confidence in oneself and in the dynamic of human interaction. Things usually do work out.
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted May 4, 2012 Author Posted May 4, 2012 I call bull****. You'll probably string the guy along for at least another week or two. Wonna bet? :rolleyes:
Pierre Posted May 4, 2012 Posted May 4, 2012 Haha thank you for confirming that I am not being paranoid! No, I can read guys well, I am not naive anymore. You pick up guys that are likely players and then complain they are players. You are hanging out at the wrong places.
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted May 4, 2012 Author Posted May 4, 2012 Most guys want casual sex so it's not easy to pick the relationship ones
verhrzn Posted May 4, 2012 Posted May 4, 2012 You pick up guys that are likely players and then complain they are players. You are hanging out at the wrong places. So... where are the RIGHT places to hang out?? I mean, who says to themselves," Man I bet all the guys at this table tennis meeting are players." I mean, really? 5
ThatDudeXO Posted May 4, 2012 Posted May 4, 2012 Did someone just say the social table tennis club is the wrong place to meet someone? Lol
Pierre Posted May 4, 2012 Posted May 4, 2012 Most guys want casual sex so it's not easy to pick the relationship ones You need to change social circles. There are plenty of men that want a relationship and even a family. However, they are not on your radar screen. And you are not in their radar screen.
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted May 4, 2012 Author Posted May 4, 2012 Did someone just say the social table tennis club is the wrong place to meet someone? Lol What's wrong with table tennis club?
verhrzn Posted May 4, 2012 Posted May 4, 2012 You need to change social circles. There are plenty of men that want a relationship and even a family. However, they are not on your radar screen. And you are not in their radar screen. ... So where are they?? She was at a freaking table tennis club. I've been to volunteer groups, book clubs, sporting events (my company has a baseball team), nerd hang-outs (comic book shops, sci-fi cons, DnD groups), and nary a one of them had single men present.
KathyM Posted May 4, 2012 Posted May 4, 2012 I think you should have met him at the restaurant he suggested, and then just decline to go to his place afterwards if he suggests it. IMO, 45 minutes to drive to a date is not too much to ask. In my neck of the woods, that would be a very doable drive. It's possible he is just familiar with the restaurant he suggested, and knew it to be a good one, and that is why he suggested it. I don't think you should read anything into his motives at this point, other than wanting to have a nice evening. And don't be so difficult about where a guy suggests to go. That can be a turn off for a man. Just go with the flow, and maybe you can suggest a place for the next date if there is a next date. Don't be difficult, and don't reject a guy for no reason. Like I said, he may have just picked that restaurant because he was familiar with it. 1
johan Posted May 4, 2012 Posted May 4, 2012 ... So where are they?? She was at a freaking table tennis club. Yeah. I didn't realize "players" were moving their game to ping-pong tournaments. It's interesting how when anything goes wrong in ES's dating life, people figure out ways to make it her fault. ES: "argghhh... My date was just killed in a tsunami." Pierre: "Well if you weren't such a shallow slut, you wouldn't be dating guys on the coast. You know as well as anyone that players don't go inland." Star: "it wasn't technically a tsunami. I didn't get the alert. It was tidal pool. What else are you lying about?" 4
Pierre Posted May 4, 2012 Posted May 4, 2012 ... So where are they?? She was at a freaking table tennis club. I've been to volunteer groups, book clubs, sporting events (my company has a baseball team), nerd hang-outs (comic book shops, sci-fi cons, DnD groups), and nary a one of them had single men present. Some of the good guys may already be out of circulation. What is your age bracket? I believe the best place for serious men and women to connect is the university or the work setting. Once you pass that age you keep doing what you are doing and hope for the best. 1
jobaba Posted May 4, 2012 Posted May 4, 2012 Aghhhhhh stupid dating. I met this Italian guy at social table tennis evening. He was a new and within an hour of chatting he asked me for my number and asked me out. I am not sure how interested I am, I barely know anything about him, but he seems cute so I said yes. This went down Weds evening. Thursday - I don't hear from him and I am actually glad (does this mean I shouldn't be dating?). He seemed a bit too keen and I thought he may be one of those guys that text 24/7. But no, he isn't like that. Today - Friday, he texts me with plans for Sat night. He wants me to meet him at a restaurant that's 5 mins from his home. We live 45mins away and I thought that was not cool. Besides not wanting to drive that long, I also don't want to go to his place after (which is the perfect set up given his pick of the restaurant). So I respond a bit bluntly that I don't want to drive that far and suggest a place that's half way between us. He doesn't respond all day. I am thinking meh, a write off (and again instead of feeling rejected I feel kind of glad that I won't be going on a date and will have a day to myself ). But alas, I just get an e-mail from him to ask me why I haven't responded to his text. I did, and double check that the text was sent. Everything looks fine. I respond to his e-mail and re-iterate that I want to meet at the place half-way. Dead silence. I text him "helooooo did this text went through?" Silence. This is just all a turn off. He seems not to be getting my texts (how is that even technologically possible?) or pretending not to. Man, I hate dating. Texts sometimes take a day or two to go through. I've had that happen to me, but it's rare. I'd say if you sent him two texts and he claimed not to get either, he's probably got sleazy motives. ... So where are they?? She was at a freaking table tennis club. I've been to volunteer groups, book clubs, sporting events (my company has a baseball team), nerd hang-outs (comic book shops, sci-fi cons, DnD groups), and nary a one of them had single men present. There's a good many good dudes around. Women just don't 'like' them like that.
Pierre Posted May 4, 2012 Posted May 4, 2012 What's wrong with table tennis club? My sister had the same problem. She had a good eye for players and the good guys were invisible to her. It happens!
Star Gazer Posted May 4, 2012 Posted May 4, 2012 I have a suggestion for the OP. When one of these 'dating issues' comes up, give it a few days (I'd push for a week but perhaps that's too much) to resolve before posting a thread. This shows confidence in oneself and in the dynamic of human interaction. Things usually do work out. 100% agree. ES needs to learn how to handle relationships on her own. She's been on LS for years; it's about time she jump off the branch and learn how to fly.
jobaba Posted May 4, 2012 Posted May 4, 2012 ... So where are they?? She was at a freaking table tennis club. I've been to volunteer groups, book clubs, sporting events (my company has a baseball team), nerd hang-outs (comic book shops, sci-fi cons, DnD groups), and nary a one of them had single men present. ...and for constructive advice ... try volunteering. How many good looking shallow players guys do you know that volunteer their Thursday nights at the soup kitchen and Tuesday nights tutoring disadvantaged kids? Yup. That's how many I know. I don't think you're seriously looking though. I think you just want to bitch and whine. 1
verhrzn Posted May 4, 2012 Posted May 4, 2012 Some of the good guys may already be out of circulation. What is your age bracket? I believe the best place for serious men and women to connect is the university or the work setting. Once you pass that age you keep doing what you are doing and hope for the best. I think me and ES are about the same age, so I'd guess her age bracket is similar to mine... 25-32ish for me (same, ES?) Well all the men at my company are engaged/married, and I graduated college 2 years ago. (I am 26.) So guess we're just screwed ES, we've just missed all the good men and are left with table-tennis-loving players!
persevere Posted May 4, 2012 Posted May 4, 2012 My sister had the same problem. She had a good eye for players and the good guys were invisible to her. It happens! I love it when women complain about dirtbag men, cheaters, and players. Sometimes even right in front of me. Meanwhile, they wouldn't date a good guy like me because I am 'boring' ie, drug free, not running from the law, nice guy, stable, not abusive, not in prison. Ugh. 1
verhrzn Posted May 4, 2012 Posted May 4, 2012 ...and for constructive advice ... try volunteering. How many good looking shallow players guys do you know that volunteer their Thursday nights at the soup kitchen and Tuesday nights tutoring disadvantaged kids? Yup. That's how many I know. I don't think you're seriously looking though. I think you just want to bitch and whine. Yeah, of course, cause when I said "I've been to volunteering groups," it obviously means I don't already currently volunteer.....? Again, you and Pierre just keep saying over and over "You choose the players, you ignore the good guys." I've asked several times where these good guys are. Why are you ignoring the question? Cause it's easier to blame us than admit maybe good, single guys just are not numerous anymore? 2
veggirl Posted May 4, 2012 Posted May 4, 2012 So... where are the RIGHT places to hang out?? I mean, who says to themselves," Man I bet all the guys at this table tennis meeting are players." I mean, really? :lmao: You'd think a ping pong group would be pretty innocuous, wouldn't ya? What's wrong with table tennis club? Sounds awesome and fun, I didn't know they had those. I think it's cool you're in one. Yeah. I didn't realize "players" were moving their game to ping-pong tournaments. It's interesting how when anything goes wrong in ES's dating life, people figure out ways to make it her fault. ES: "argghhh... My date was just killed in a tsunami." Pierre: "Well if you weren't such a shallow slut, you wouldn't be dating guys on the coast. You know as well as anyone that players don't go inland." Star: "it wasn't technically a tsunami. I didn't get the alert. It was tidal pool. What else are you lying about?" :lmao: Anyway, I say go on the date and see what happens. Who knows. The texting thing is weird but I guess it happens. At least he apologized for suggesting the place near him, who knows maybe he just didn't know what is around you and stuff. Innocent enough, if it's legit.
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