xpaperxcutx Posted May 4, 2012 Posted May 4, 2012 I found out he got cut from the team so I know he's back in the city. but he hasn't contacted me and I ddoubt he ever will. while nc is a good thing I also realize how it's been affecting me emotionally. there have been instances where my mind effortlessly starts thinking about him and I'm stricken with awave of sadness so much so it almost feels like physical pain. and I find myself tearing up without provocation. I admit I'm a wreck. I don't.ever remember allowing anyone to affect me so much as he did me. I can't concentrate at work and when I'm at home I never felt like leavong the comfort of my room let alone my bed.
jennisfora Posted May 4, 2012 Posted May 4, 2012 sounds like me a month or so ago. it does get easier, i wont say better, because i am not there yet. but, maybe i have reached my threshold for self inflicted pain, i am fighting apathy more than anything. i just have trouble caring about anything, dont feel sad, or happy. very why bother. my kid is why i get up and go to work. that, and i know i have to be responsible no matter how i feel. but i hopefully will get some counselling soon for me and my boy. who mentioned my ex again last night. he hadnt in a while, so i was hoping he had forgotten. he has been struggling at school because of it, ever since january. he is almost 4. either way, yes depression sucks. i kinda miss the crying jags, and the sudden bursts of emotion. least i was feeling something.
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