TheSingleGuy Posted May 4, 2012 Posted May 4, 2012 Girlfriend texts me today, complaining about this guy who came in to her office and hit on her. I know other guys are always gonna hit on my girl, but I don't think I really want to hear about it. I was married for ten years and don't remember the ex-wife ever making it known that other men were hitting on her. Why do all the women I date do this? And how am I supposed to react?
Cypress25 Posted May 4, 2012 Posted May 4, 2012 Just tell her you'd rather not hear about it. She probably doesn't realize it bothers you.
Oxy Moronovich Posted May 4, 2012 Posted May 4, 2012 You can either tell her you don't like it or start telling her about all the chicks that flirt with you. See how she likes it. 1
Feelsgoodman Posted May 4, 2012 Posted May 4, 2012 Girlfriend texts me today, complaining about this guy who came in to her office and hit on her. I know other guys are always gonna hit on my girl, but I don't think I really want to hear about it. I was married for ten years and don't remember the ex-wife ever making it known that other men were hitting on her. Why do all the women I date do this? And how am I supposed to react? 'Good. Now I don't have to feel guilty about my female coworkers hitting on me all the time'.
Author TheSingleGuy Posted May 4, 2012 Author Posted May 4, 2012 What am I supposed to say? "wow, this Hispanic chick kept checking me out today at Souper Salad?" Seriously, that's about the interest I get from sober women. It's an approach invitation, but they never initiate conversation.
HappyPanda Posted May 4, 2012 Posted May 4, 2012 hmmmm... Yeah, that definitely strikes me as an insecurity to me.. She wants you to know that other men (besides you, of course) find her attractive, ie: if you screw this up, Ill be able to move on VERY quickly. If I were you, Id say something along the lines of "jeez babe, I know you're hot, but I dont really want to hear about other men ogling you on a regular basis, I already know Im a lucky man!" This way, you've stroked her ego enough that it may relinquish some of her apprehension, and you dont come off as super jealous, But, if she continues after that, tell her to cut the sh*t 6
Disenchantedly Yours Posted May 4, 2012 Posted May 4, 2012 Happy Panda nailed it. And I've been guilty of doing this myself. She may not know how much it bothers you. I know I didn't at the time. I just wanted him to know other guys thought I was cute. I didn't really even think about him being jealous about it.
Author TheSingleGuy Posted May 4, 2012 Author Posted May 4, 2012 Wouldn't it be common sense for a woman to conclude that telling the boyfriend about another man's advances is just rude? Seems like common sense to me.
Cypress25 Posted May 4, 2012 Posted May 4, 2012 Wouldn't it be common sense for a woman to conclude that telling the boyfriend about another man's advances is just rude? Seems like common sense to me. You'd think so, but obviously she doesn't realize, so just tell her. She's not a mind-reader.
AD1980 Posted May 4, 2012 Posted May 4, 2012 Not the end of the world i always thought it was more rude when a owmen in a relatinship tells her man who she thinks is hot Better she tells you she was hit on then keeps it a secret while secretly thinks about said guy at least no?
Author TheSingleGuy Posted May 4, 2012 Author Posted May 4, 2012 See, this is where I have a major disconnect and think I'm too insecure to have a girlfriend at all. She gets hit on by guys for the rest if her life. But me, as the loyal boyfriend, I stop approaching and hitting in other women. And, of course, a woman's advance on me is usually so timid I don't even realize it.
Cypress25 Posted May 4, 2012 Posted May 4, 2012 She gets hit on by guys for the rest if her life. But me, as the loyal boyfriend, I stop approaching and hitting in other women. She can't help it, dude. She is a loyal girlfriend, she's not hitting on other guys, and she's not going to respond to the guys who hit on her. 1
Oxy Moronovich Posted May 4, 2012 Posted May 4, 2012 She can't help it, dude. She is a loyal girlfriend, she's not hitting on other guys, and she's not going to respond to the guys who hit on her. She is responding. By telling her significant other, she's making it obvious she enjoys the attention. That is what is bothering the OP. 1
Feelsgoodman Posted May 4, 2012 Posted May 4, 2012 She is a loyal girlfriend, she's not hitting on other guys, and she's not going to respond to the guys who hit on her. And how exactly do you surmise that from his post? Are you some kind of a psychic?
dasein Posted May 4, 2012 Posted May 4, 2012 OP be very wary when they start telling you these things. It could be totally innocent, but they love to tell little "half-truths" in an effort to feel less dishonest. If she mentions the guy again and tells you something along the lines of "could never be attracted to him," rest assured, there's already back and forth going on, maybe more.
phineas Posted May 4, 2012 Posted May 4, 2012 OP be very wary when they start telling you these things. It could be totally innocent, but they love to tell little "half-truths" in an effort to feel less dishonest. If she mentions the guy again and tells you something along the lines of "could never be attracted to him," rest assured, there's already back and forth going on, maybe more. Unfortunately this has been my experience also. The women i've dated who do this are insecure & require a certain level of drama to stay interested in a guy. OP, does she have a history of dating bad boy/ player types that cheated on her or dropped her for someone else?
TaraMaiden Posted May 4, 2012 Posted May 4, 2012 It's a way of telling you that you're such a lucky guy, but she's not responding, because she is so faithful to you.... My brother had this with a past girlfriend..... She: (something to the effect of) 'This guy at work keeps hitting on me, he's not the only one, it's happened before....' He: does he bother you? She: No... He: Is he getting on your nerves? She: No.... He: Can you handle it? She: Well. yeah....! He: OK, do that then. (Walks off to kitchen to make a cup of coffee..... shows he's neither phased nor roused to irritation by it.) She (A few days later): Doesn't it bother you that I get hit on by other guys? He: ....Should it? She: No..... HE: Then, why should it? End of discussion. He recognised the bait. She was fishing. He didn't bite. 6 months later, she's pregnant by the other guy. If someone's going to cheat on you - they will, no matter what you do, say or profess. don't accept responsibility for their lack of self-control. If they want you to trust them, they have to work for that. you don't. you just have to prove yourself trustworthy to them. It's obvious, you have nothing to prove to her, but I can't say the reverse is true..... 2
Author TheSingleGuy Posted May 4, 2012 Author Posted May 4, 2012 No, this girl had one boyfriend before me who she dumped. I never got the vibe that he was a bad boy type at all. She said he always treated her really sweet and nice.
stillafool Posted May 4, 2012 Posted May 4, 2012 Girlfriend texts me today, complaining about this guy who came in to her office and hit on her. I know other guys are always gonna hit on my girl, but I don't think I really want to hear about it. I was married for ten years and don't remember the ex-wife ever making it known that other men were hitting on her. Why do all the women I date do this? And how am I supposed to react? Any woman who does this is either trying to make you jealous or trying to get attention. Attractive women get hit on all the time and most don't tell their partners this is happening unless someone is being abusive to them. Tell her to keep it to herself because you don't tell her when girls hit on you. That ought to shut her up.
xxoo Posted May 4, 2012 Posted May 4, 2012 She (A few days later): Doesn't it bother you that I get hit on by other guys? He: ....Should it? She: No..... HE: Then, why should it? End of discussion. Brilliant! You could make a light joke, like "Want me to come beat him up?", but don't get worked up about it. If you get worked up, she's getting the reaction she's looking for (jealousy). Better question--why does she want to make you jealous? And why are you jealous?
Author TheSingleGuy Posted May 4, 2012 Author Posted May 4, 2012 I'm just jealous and insecure when I fall in love with a girl. I've had many women from my past cheat on me and treat me poorly. And I've seen first hand, since my divorce, how dishonest women can be. I'm way less trusting of women after my divorce than I was before. 2
carhill Posted May 4, 2012 Posted May 4, 2012 Communication is the solution to mind pollution. In the example in the OP, merely text back 'call me'. When she has a moment to do that, I'm sure she will. Right?
Disenchantedly Yours Posted May 4, 2012 Posted May 4, 2012 To me, this is like when guys are all drooly or oggly over other women while out with their girls. Or are so open about telling their girl how hot other women are. I don't want to hear about all the other women a guy thinks is hot. I hate being out with guys that activily give other women attention visually. She knows you're looking at her, I know you're looking at her. Most men are not that descrete. So guys, if you don't want to hear about all the men that hit on your girl, don't be so eager to tell your girl all the women you think are so hot you just have to stare at or masturbate too.. or whatever you do that makes a woman question where your head is when your checking out other women.
Author TheSingleGuy Posted May 4, 2012 Author Posted May 4, 2012 Yes, I check out other women all the time. I seriously can't help it. I see a beautiful woman, I stare. I think I should just break up with her.
Professor X Posted May 4, 2012 Posted May 4, 2012 It's a way of telling you that you're such a lucky guy, but she's not responding, because she is so faithful to you.... My brother had this with a past girlfriend..... She: (something to the effect of) 'This guy at work keeps hitting on me, he's not the only one, it's happened before....' He: does he bother you? She: No... He: Is he getting on your nerves? She: No.... He: Can you handle it? She: Well. yeah....! He: OK, do that then. (Walks off to kitchen to make a cup of coffee..... shows he's neither phased nor roused to irritation by it.) She (A few days later): Doesn't it bother you that I get hit on by other guys? He: ....Should it? She: No..... HE: Then, why should it? End of discussion. He recognised the bait. She was fishing. He didn't bite. First I was :laugh::laugh: 6 months later, she's pregnant by the other guy. Then I was :(:(
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