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So since men are expected to pay when they go on a 1st date is it ok for me to.....

PhillyDude

By PhillyDude
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PhillyDude Established Member

PhillyDude

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It would be nice if you could get a firm, honest answer towards the end of the date, as to whether they wanted to see you again. That way, you could go dutch when the tab comes! ;) Unfortunately, it doesn't work that way. It used to be you could invite a woman to a nice restaurant to try to impress her. Now, you risk spending a lot of money on a flake, or no interest from either side.

 

I have a first OLD date set up for tomorrow night. We're gonna meet first for coffee, then on to dinner if we both agree. I think that's a good idea.

 

I wouldn't do the dinner, cut it short and then make it known you want to see her again. Then you can see if she is really interested in between dates based on how often she calls or texts you or how quickly she responds to your call

 

 

Going to dinner after coffee is the ultimate FREE MEAL strategy LOL

Million.to.1 Established Member

Million.to.1

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A girl should be prepared to pay for her own drink and allow the guy to say..."I GOT THAT" That's how you would be able to tell if he likes what he sees

 

You shouldn't be dating.

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Feanor Member

Feanor

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You always pay for the first date?

I pay once in a while but definitely not always. I have a date tomorrow night and I won't be paying for her. A woman really shouldn't expect to be paid for especially if you met online and barely know each other. If she's gets outraged about having to pay for her own dinner or drink then she's really not worth the effort.

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PhillyDude Established Member

PhillyDude

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You always pay for the first date?

I pay once in a while but definitely not always. I have a date tomorrow night and I won't be paying for her. A woman really shouldn't expect to be paid for especially if you met online and barely know each other. If she's gets outraged about having to pay for her own dinner or drink then she's really not worth the effort.

 

My first two dates last summer

 

Date 1...coffee and a walk

 

Date 2...ice cream and a walk

 

LOL I didn't pay for dinner until Date 3

Million.to.1 Established Member

Million.to.1

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You always pay for the first date?

I pay once in a while but definitely not always. I have a date tomorrow night and I won't be paying for her. A woman really shouldn't expect to be paid for especially if you met online and barely know each other. If she's gets outraged about having to pay for her own dinner or drink then she's really not worth the effort.

 

Exactly. If some chick orders her food and then goes and sits down leaving you to pay, what the hell is not stopping you from calling out across the restaurant "hey, um... i think you for forgot to pay for your stuff"

If you paid for it and then you felt irritated, THAT'S YOUR PROBLEM. People aren't obligated to act or think the way you do. They don't know exactly how YOU want them to behave.

 

If you don't want to pay, don't. Simple as that.

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PhillyDude Established Member

PhillyDude

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Exactly. If some chick orders her food and then goes and sits down leaving you to pay, what the hell is not stopping you from calling out across the restaurant "hey, um... i think you for forgot to pay for your stuff"

If you paid for it and then you felt irritated, THAT'S YOUR PROBLEM. People aren't obligated to act or think the way you do. They don't know exactly how YOU want them to behave.

 

If you don't want to pay, don't. Simple as that.

 

I didn't want to make a scene in the place and plus it would have made things arkward

NeverDated Established Member

NeverDated

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I didn't want to make a scene in the place and plus it would have made things arkward

Hey, maybe that's how you can let her down easy.

 

Act like such a prick she doesn't want to see you again. Problem solved!

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PhillyDude Established Member

PhillyDude

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Hey, maybe that's how you can let her down easy.

 

Act like such a prick she doesn't want to see you again. Problem solved!

 

 

 

I took out my anger on the cahier-lol Which was dumb because she was probably told by the girl..."he's paying"

Cypress25 Established Member

Cypress25

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I wouldn't do the dinner, cut it short and then make it known you want to see her again. Then you can see if she is really interested in between dates based on how often she calls or texts you or how quickly she responds to your call

 

Why are you always trying to test these girls? That's a terrible dating strategy. You act like women are supposed to prove their love for you by calling and texting constantly before a date, and if they don't, you get pissed. Listen: If you ask a woman out and she says yes, then she's interested. But you think it's not enough for a woman to agree to a date. No, she also has to call you every day before the date and talk on the phone for hours, otherwise you assume she's not really interested. You've missed out on dozens of great women who were interested in you, just because they didn't "prove" their interest enough. You need to stop testing women. It's not working.

Million.to.1 Established Member

Million.to.1

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Hey, maybe that's how you can let her down easy.

 

Act like such a prick she doesn't want to see you again. Problem solved!

 

Exactly! What was your other solution???.. Have a conversation that goes something like.. "I'm not going to pay the $4 for your coffee because i don't find you sexually attractive" ?? - Yeah cause that wouldn't be awkward.

 

Stop trying to turn the blame around on the other person.

THE PROBLEM IS YOURS.

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PhillyDude Established Member

PhillyDude

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Why are you always trying to test these girls? That's a terrible dating strategy. You act like women are supposed to prove their love for you by calling and texting constantly before a date, and if they don't, you get pissed. Listen: If you ask a woman out and she says yes, then she's interested. But you think it's not enough for a woman to agree to a date. No, she also has to call you every day before the date and talk on the phone for hours, otherwise you assume she's not really interested. You've missed out on dozens of great women who were interested in you, just because they didn't "prove" their interest enough. You need to stop testing women. It's not working.

 

So why does the contacting have to stop after you meet? I have a girl now who I haven't met yet sending good morning texts and how is my day. So if we hit it off then that should continue right if she is interested?

Cypress25 Established Member

Cypress25

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So why does the contacting have to stop after you meet? I have a girl now who I haven't met yet sending good morning texts and how is my day. So if we hit it off then that should continue right if she is interested?

 

Yes, contact should continue, but it doesn't have to be such a high volume of contact. In the early stages of dating, sending a text once every few days is fine. But you expect the girl to call or text every day, and to respond to your texts right away, and to confirm plans before the date, even though you were the one to ask her out. That's too much and really unfair to the woman. If you ask her out, then it's your job to confirm plans!

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PhillyDude Established Member

PhillyDude

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Yes, contact should continue, but it doesn't have to be such a high volume of contact. In the early stages of dating, sending a text once every few days is fine. But you expect the girl to call or text every day, and to respond to your texts right away, and to confirm plans before the date, even though you were the one to ask her out. That's too much and really unfair to the woman. If you ask her out, then it's your job to confirm plans!

 

No I said if I set a 2nd date for saturday, I expect her to atleast put in the effort to contact me atleast ONCE between Monday and Saturday. If not I will feel like she is a dinner HO and using me for a free meal

Million.to.1 Established Member

Million.to.1

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So why does the contacting have to stop after you meet? I have a girl now who I haven't met yet sending good morning texts and how is my day. So if we hit it off then that should continue right if she is interested?

 

 

 

No I said if I set a 2nd date for saturday, I expect her to atleast put in the effort to contact me atleast ONCE between Monday and Saturday. If not I will feel like she is a dinner HO and using me for a free meal

 

(10 characters)

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PhillyDude Established Member

PhillyDude

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(10 characters)

 

Like I said, I avoid dinner ho's

Mme. Chaucer Established Member

Mme. Chaucer

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We are both agreeing to meet from a OLD site so why should I be expected to pay if I don't feel an sexual attraction?

 

I think you should either go dutch all the time, or buy a girl you're meeting a beer or a cup of coffee all the time. It's nasty of you to feel okay about buying her a beer if she's attractive enough for you.

 

Personally, I'd be happy to buy a funny looking person a cup of coffee.

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Pierre Established Member

Pierre

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Hey Philly Dude!

 

A question:

 

If you had a beautiful daughter. Would you advice her to date a guy like you?

  • Like 3
Mme. Chaucer Established Member

Mme. Chaucer

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Hey Philly Dude!

 

A question:

 

If you had a beautiful daughter. Would you advice her to date a guy like you?

 

Can you imagine?

FrustratedStandards Established Member

FrustratedStandards

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If you don't find her attractive then why did you ask her out in the first place?

FrustratedStandards Established Member

FrustratedStandards

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Like I said, I avoid dinner ho's

 

I don't understand men. If you want a ho there's plenty out there, you don't need to treat her to dinner to get into her pants.

kaylan Established Member

kaylan

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POLITELY tell her I don't feel it will work and end the date right away if I don't find her attractive?

 

I mean why foot the bill for a woman that I know i will never ever see again? So does it make more sense to end the date if I feel she is not my type after meeting from a OLD site?

Sounds reasonable to me. Why waste money on a relative stranger?

Sanman Established Member

Sanman

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Why are you going to places that take orders at the register? The task is simple...During the meal, excuse yourself from the table and ask the waiter/waitress for separate checks. Alternatively, have a cheap regular date place where the wait staff know to do this when you are in with a woman. Either way, tip them well. Otherwise, go somewhere cheap/free. Picnics and museums are good budget options.

123321 Established Member

123321

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Why not just go dutch? Maybe you'll make a friend :D

 

I have plenty of friends.

ohmygoshistalk Established Member

ohmygoshistalk

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its just a date for heavens sake not a betrothal..

 

in my opinion whoever asked for the date should pay.

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123321 Established Member

123321

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its just a date for heavens sake not a betrothal..

 

in my opinion whoever asked for the date should pay.

 

Indeed, who would ask someone over to dinner and then expect them to cook?

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