Million.to.1 Posted May 3, 2012 Posted May 3, 2012 So ... help me out. I just joined a site and filled in my profile. Uploaded Photos, keep them private and share with who i want. Had message exchange with a cool guy who was new to the site over a few hours. Handsome, successful, similar interests .. He seemed interested and kept asking questions etc.... Once he told me what he does for a living, i was able to check out his website and learn his name and see some articles he wrote for a local newspaper. ( just did a bit of online stalking) He seems really cool. I would really like to meet-up IRL. I messaged him back again... hinting at a possible real life meet up, making a joke about him being a writer and that now i would have to spell check all my messages and try make more effort with my witty banter. Basically... I really don't want to spend hours of time online exchanging "getting to know you" messages forever. I know from experience that it can waste time when you create a false sense of intimacy online, then you meet-up and it's weird if there is no physical chemistry for one or both of you. I would rather just meet up and see early on. He might be new to OLD and a bit shy about meeting IRL.. He also is good looking which means he will not only be exchanging messages with me. So... he hasn't messaged me back. I can see he has read my message and been online again twice since i sent it. ( in a 24 hour period ) I'm confused. Did I do something wrong?
oaks Posted May 3, 2012 Posted May 3, 2012 Did I do something wrong? No! Please don't think that way. Could be anything, or nothing, but you didn't do anything wrong. Of course it could be that he no longer wants to talk to you and even then you probably didn't do anything wrong, but it could be many other things. For example, I've used dating sites via my mobile phone... which is great for logging in and reading messages but not great for writing out a lengthy reply. If he's doing the same this could easily explain why you're seeing that he has read your message and not replied. Don't over-think it. He'll either reply, or he won't. Since you're already messaging each other you could send him another message if you have something new to say, or wait (and by "wait" I mean get on with your life, or check out other guys on the site, not that you should be actively staring at an empty inbox hoping that a message will arrive). 1
Author Million.to.1 Posted May 3, 2012 Author Posted May 3, 2012 totally... i am "getting on with my life". It's not that. Because there may only be 2 or 3 men on the site i would actually meet in real life... and he is one of them.. i don't want to blow it. If I do follow up with another message... what should I say? I don't want to be like one of those guys who messages me after i have obviously ignored them, or sound sad and desperate because I'm not. I just think that if you are having a conversation with someone in IRL it would be weird to just suddenly stop talking. go quiet. and then stand there obviously having heard them but not answering.
NeverDated Posted May 3, 2012 Posted May 3, 2012 totally... i am "getting on with my life". It's not that. Because there may only be 2 or 3 men on the site i would actually meet in real life... and he is one of them.. i don't want to blow it. If I do follow up with another message... what should I say? I don't want to be like one of those guys who messages me after i have obviously ignored them, or sound sad and desperate because I'm not. I just think that if you are having a conversation with someone in IRL it would be weird to just suddenly stop talking. go quiet. and then stand there obviously having heard them but not answering. You're curious about what you could have possibly done wrong because he hasn't responded in several hours? AND you've already decided he's one of the select few? That kind of screams desperate and sad. When I was on OKCupid, there was one guy I was fairly interested in. It would take him three or four days to respond to a message, even though I know he'd been online in the interim. Could have been a game, trying to come up with an appropriately witty response, just not having the energy or brainspace to muster up a reply. I never did meet him. C'est la vie. He will either respond or he won't. You will either go out or you won't. You will either hit it off or you won't. Don't place so much emphasis on this one guy you messaged and mildly intertubez stalked.
oaks Posted May 3, 2012 Posted May 3, 2012 Because there may only be 2 or 3 men on the site i would actually meet in real life... There will be new guys next week, too.
Author Million.to.1 Posted May 3, 2012 Author Posted May 3, 2012 Fair enough... But no i don't think it's unreasonable to know he is one of the select few. I know what I like. OLD is just one way i meet people. And i have only meet up with 2 or 3 in from OLD in real life. I don't plan on sticking around for there for months searching.. I've had a look.. i know whats there. ... just like you have stated. "I liked this guy but we never met up." Why not?
Author Million.to.1 Posted May 3, 2012 Author Posted May 3, 2012 There will be new guys next week, too. probably not.... i live on an island. we have a small population.
NeverDated Posted May 3, 2012 Posted May 3, 2012 Fair enough... But no i don't think it's unreasonable to know he is one of the select few. I know what I like. OLD is just one way i meet people. And i have only meet up with 2 or 3 in from OLD in real life. I don't plan on sticking around for there for months searching.. I've had a look.. i know whats there. ... just like you have stated. "I liked this guy but we never met up." Why not? Because I met my boyfriend in the interim. Living on an island does make it more difficult. I live near a major metro area, so my pool was several million.
phineas Posted May 3, 2012 Posted May 3, 2012 I give em a week of short emails then tell them id like to meet them. They either want to or I move on. I don't write books I ask them questions & that's it. It seems to work for me.
Author Million.to.1 Posted May 3, 2012 Author Posted May 3, 2012 I give em a week of short emails then tell them id like to meet them. They either want to or I move on. I don't write books I ask them questions & that's it. It seems to work for me. If a girl hinted at you to meet, would you find that too forward? Is it something you think the man should do?
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