Author Ross MwcFan Posted May 5, 2012 Author Posted May 5, 2012 (edited) Ross: Where you live there are thousands of women that long to find a man, have sex, and have a relationship. It seems you don't know they are there in front of you. You are over thinking this way too much. The situation is rather simple. There are a ton of women that dream about having a relationship and they are available to you. Go shopping and you will see dozens of women walking past you that would gladly have sex with you. Why not? You are a nice looking young man of Northern European extraction and I assume you have no speech impediments and have reasonable intelligence and personality. With those attributes you can get a woman yesterday. Are you very short? I still don't see why you have such a hard time. Men like you usually have a lot of women to choose from. This is not rocket science: You want a woman and these women want a man. So what is the problem? I wish I knew. Maybe I look very ugly in real life and not at all how I look on pictures and video? If only I could meet some people from LS in real life, then they could give me feedback on whether I'm still good looking like how I am on pcitures and video, or whether I look totally different and unattractive in real life. Edited May 5, 2012 by Ross MwcFan
dsw31 Posted May 5, 2012 Posted May 5, 2012 Ross, You have to stop focusing on alpha females.That's not what you want-believe me! You need to start focusing on how to get more comfortable being in your own skin & socializing with others.You can find a girfriend & I'm going to make sure it happens for you ...THIS SUMMER.You have to be able to smile & say hello to people first though.
dsw31 Posted May 5, 2012 Posted May 5, 2012 Btw- I saw your picture.You are not a bad looking guy at all! You have just been traumatized by those girls who said you were ugly.It's all in your head!
Author Ross MwcFan Posted May 5, 2012 Author Posted May 5, 2012 What have you done today, Ross? Just went shopping.
Author Ross MwcFan Posted May 5, 2012 Author Posted May 5, 2012 Btw- I saw your picture.You are not a bad looking guy at all! You have just been traumatized by those girls who said you were ugly.It's all in your head! Thanks. But what if I don't look the same and look ugly IRL though?
dsw31 Posted May 5, 2012 Posted May 5, 2012 Thanks. But what if I don't look the same and look ugly IRL though? Unless you airbrushed or photoshopped-it's not possible.People always look even better in real life!
dsw31 Posted May 5, 2012 Posted May 5, 2012 And what did you do when you went shopping? I bet you didn't even try to smile at anyone? Ross...remember what I said...don't make me pull out my whip...
Author Ross MwcFan Posted May 5, 2012 Author Posted May 5, 2012 And what did you do when you went shopping? I bet you didn't even try to smile at anyone? Ross...remember what I said...don't make me pull out my whip... I smiled at the cashier when I went to pay for my stuff. Good enough?!
Author Ross MwcFan Posted May 5, 2012 Author Posted May 5, 2012 Okay, there's something in my life now which I think is going to hinder my progress. Here's a link to the topic where I explain it, http://www.loveshack.org/forums/mind-body-soul/self-improvement-personal-well-being/325027-not-feeling-good-about-having-my-hair-longer-having-stubble#post3984735
dsw31 Posted May 5, 2012 Posted May 5, 2012 I smiled at the cashier when I went to pay for my stuff. Good enough?! It's a start... (If you're not lying that is) What happened after that? The world didn't end, no one died right? It's going to get easier & easier,the more you practice. About the longer red hair thing...Have you ever heard of Luis CK? He's a red headed comedian.One of my idols actually.He is definitely not as attractive as you & he's bald & fat too.He has no problem picking up chicks.You know why?He's found something that he's good at & he's confident in himself.He doesn't care what other people think.You are way more attractive than him & I'd bone him.Lol! Ok-maybe I wouldn't bone him but you know what I mean,right?
Author Ross MwcFan Posted May 5, 2012 Author Posted May 5, 2012 It's a start... (If you're not lying that is) What happened after that? The world didn't end, no one died right? It's going to get easier & easier,the more you practice. To be honest I've always smiled at cashiers when buying something. About the longer red hair thing...Have you ever heard of Luis CK? He's a red headed comedian.One of my idols actually.He is definitely not as attractive as you & he's bald & fat too.He has no problem picking up chicks.You know why?He's found something that he's good at & he's confident in himself.He doesn't care what other people think.You are way more attractive than him & I'd bone him.Lol! Ok-maybe I wouldn't bone him but you know what I mean,right? LOL! Yeah, I think so.
dsw31 Posted May 5, 2012 Posted May 5, 2012 You probably don't really know what I mean... What I mean is he's pretty f#cken ugly(you are not ugly) He has confidence & a funny personality.That's all you need to score hot chicks.You are already ahead of the game when it comes to looks.Now-gotta work on the confidence! Stop cheating too-I want you to step out of the box.Do something new! Tomorrow you have to smile at a passerby on the street.I'm going to hold you up to this..
wwwjd Posted May 5, 2012 Posted May 5, 2012 Just went shopping. Clothes shopping is a PERFECT opportunity to practice chatting with strangers... just ask whatever girl that works there to help you pick some decent clothes. Most of the gals that work there LOVE to help do that. I do it all the time since I don't have a GF shopping for me and the girls are warm, helpful, friendly and you can talk to them a lot about anything really. They'll even wait for you to try stuff on and tell you if it makes you look hot or not. Shopping is VERY helpful to get to talk up the opposite sex, and have fun, AND maybe even meet people. One time I got 4 different girls all standing around talking to me, and each other, about clothes.... just stopped one passing by, "Hey, SHE said these pants are too loose.. what do YOU think? Good or bad?" Easy.
SarahRose Posted May 6, 2012 Posted May 6, 2012 All the suggestions are great! Yes, that is the whole point is to just get you out and talking to people. any people not just dating type females you could pretend to be a tourist for a day. go to some museums and other things where you live. ask some strangers for directions to something. It doesn't matter if you know where it is already but just going up and having a short conversation with a stranger. did you look at the activities going on in or near your city on the meetup? i saw some bank holidays walks, dinner get togethers, etc. 1
Imajerk17 Posted May 6, 2012 Posted May 6, 2012 Ross here's the thing. You have all of these women on here trying to help you. Why? Because they've been exposed to you and seeing that, they feel you are worthy. They want to do you AND the women a favor and help you meet someone great. Remember that when you interact with other people.
betterdeal Posted May 6, 2012 Posted May 6, 2012 Ross here's the thing. You have all of these women on here trying to help you. Why? Because they've been exposed to you and seeing that, they feel you are worthy. They want to do you AND the women a favor and help you meet someone great. Remember that when you interact with other people. I was with you right up to "AND ..." 2
Mme. Chaucer Posted May 6, 2012 Posted May 6, 2012 Are you still taking a drive to a park, parking you car and going for a walk?
Author Ross MwcFan Posted May 6, 2012 Author Posted May 6, 2012 I'm already doing something in my life which I find challenging, I can't pile on other stuff as well, it's just too much for me, I can't cope with it. Right now I'm feeling so much pressure, and like I just can't go on.
dsw31 Posted May 6, 2012 Posted May 6, 2012 I'm already doing something in my life which I find challenging, I can't pile on other stuff as well, it's just too much for me, I can't cope with it. Right now I'm feeling so much pressure, and like I just can't go on. Hey Ross, Don't sweat it.I think you're getting overwhelmed because a lot of people are asking you to do way too much all at once.Take the day off to do whatever makes you happy. Can you just do 1 thing for me today? Can you make a list of the things you like about yourself? You don't have to share it with anyone.Just write it out.
Author Ross MwcFan Posted May 6, 2012 Author Posted May 6, 2012 Hey Ross, Don't sweat it.I think you're getting overwhelmed because a lot of people are asking you to do way too much all at once.Take the day off to do whatever makes you happy. Can you just do 1 thing for me today? Can you make a list of the things you like about yourself? You don't have to share it with anyone.Just write it out. I know, it's not just people on here either, my therapist keeps wanting me to start doing stuff which involves getting out and interacting with other people, and the person who I was talking to at this work related interview thing recently was suggesting it too. I'm also feelng pressure to try and find a job, since when I went to that interview, the woman was asking me how things are going on the job front, so it seems like they're expecting me to be looking for some sort of work that I could cope with, or maybe they aren't and they were just curious? It's just so hard trying to find something I could cope with though, and I was expecting them to do most of the leg work in finding me something I could cope with. Now I'm going to feel awkward the next time I go there and saying that I haven't been able to find anything. I also think it's better for me to wait until I've got my CV sorted out first before I try looking for a job, since that will give me a better chance of getting it. I'm thinking maybe the next time I go to that thing again, they'll help me make my CV better.
Mme. Chaucer Posted May 6, 2012 Posted May 6, 2012 Ross, you might have posted all of this information in the past, but please remind me. You have an anxiety disorder? Or a social phobia of some type? And you are on meds for it? Have the meds been making things better for you? I understand why you'd be feeling overwhelmed. Keep it simple. Don't feel bad if dressing up like James Bond and carrying a briefcase doesn't feel doable to you - I don't think that would be a very good idea for almost anybody. But don't allow yourself to stay stuck in your "comfort zone." Obviously, that is NOT where you really want to remain. No matter how hard it is, you really need to take baby steps towards another way of functioning in the world. You CAN do it. Just take the baby steps. After a while, you will see that you have actually made some progress. I wonder if there is a support group that would be appropriate for you. If you could find one (ask your therapist?) you would get a lot of practice with social interaction there, and people help each other stay on course and hold one another accountable in groups like that. I can tell you really want to free yourself from what's holding you down so badly ... 4
Imajerk17 Posted May 6, 2012 Posted May 6, 2012 I was with you right up to "AND ..." Sure. By that I mean that he has qualities that would make him a good partner for the woman. Ross, this would be my suggestion: You got a lot of suggestions here. Go through the posts on here and come up with just a couple things that you can do this week. You don't have to DO NOR EVEN START these things today, just come up with a list. Push yourself just a bit outside of your comfort zone. Not too much, just a bit. You've gotten a lot of great ideas and support. I especially like the idea though, of doing something based on a hobby or volunteering, and meeting the people there. If you do just that and don't bother trying any cold approaches, that's totally cool.
Ruby Slippers Posted May 6, 2012 Posted May 6, 2012 You could say I'm alpha in certain ways - running my own business, for example. But I've always been magnetic rather than assertive when it comes to romance. I've tried being more alpha with romance, too. But all that seems to attract are lazy men who want me to do all the work - which I am completely uninterested in.
Author Ross MwcFan Posted May 6, 2012 Author Posted May 6, 2012 Hey Ross, Don't sweat it.I think you're getting overwhelmed because a lot of people are asking you to do way too much all at once.Take the day off to do whatever makes you happy. Can you just do 1 thing for me today? Can you make a list of the things you like about yourself? You don't have to share it with anyone.Just write it out. Oops, I was meaning to reply to your list suggestion as well, but I forgot. Sure I can do that, I don't mind sharing it either.
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