dsw31 Posted May 3, 2012 Posted May 3, 2012 An alpha girl is the leader of the pack Some characteristics of an alpha girl are competitiveness, self directness, determination, tenacity, aggressiveness (when necessary), and a strong sense of a mission. A woman with these characteristics, may also have charisma.Which she can use to charm others into getting her way & accomplishing her goals. She also knows how to move from charisma, to using intimidation to meet her ends.She may overtly threaten to leave, or hurt, in one way or the other, someone who thwarts her. These characteristics prevent others from trying to take advantage of her, her family, or her friends. In her marriage or relationships however, these same characteristics that made her successful, in the outside world, can often ruin a relationship. Alpa characteristics may leave a woman short & impatient with her partner.She may not want to take time to listen to her partners' point of view.She may feel there's only one way...and it's her way.This often makes it tough to participate in team work. A male in a relationship with an alpha female, may often find himself agreeing with her, even if he disagrees, because arguing with her is a wearing process & she's likely to win anyway.He often feels like it's a relationship where he is dominated. To her - it feels boring because there is no one to meet her strength & power. An alpha female with an alpha male, may find herself constantly arguing, or fighting, or burying her alpha characteristics because he is dominant. In either case the relationship may not be a healthy one. Most alpha women will enjoy the thrill of success, in the business or executive world.Then after midlife, they realize that they may have neglected to start a family life & the biological clock is ticking. When they review their dating lives so far, they may see a number of failed relationships. So what's an alpha girl to do? Should we compromise? Hmmmm??? 1
Woggle Posted May 3, 2012 Posted May 3, 2012 Do what alpha men do and learn how to leave that attitude behind when they clock out for the day. There are many men who are completely different at home than they are in the business world. I see no reason why women can't do the same. 3
NeverDated Posted May 3, 2012 Posted May 3, 2012 The "alpha girl" may want to feel a dominance over others, but like any other human being, will flounder without appropriate boundaries. Many "alpha girls" swing one way or the other. The first option is a wishy-washy partner who will give in to her every whim - that relationship is doomed to fail, because the woman will inevitably become annoyed with his subservience. The second option is to find a partner who is even more "alpha", often bordering on abusive. So what are we do to? Seek out mates who not only refuse to be dominated, but are capable of gently yet firmly placing boundaries. That, however, requires the "alpha girl" to grow into an "alpha woman" who understands her own psychology and thoroughly considers her [re]actions.
january2011 Posted May 3, 2012 Posted May 3, 2012 It really depends on the individual. Does she want a partner who supports her in the background (beta male) so that she can focus on what needs to be done or a partner who competes with her (alpha male) so that he can push her to do better and reach even more dizzy heights of success? I think there's an argument for both types of relationships to 'work'. There's also an argument for 'taking turns'. Look at Michelle and Barack or Hillary and Bill.
Author dsw31 Posted May 3, 2012 Author Posted May 3, 2012 Oops! Too late for me to edit! I forgot to mention that I did not write that.It's taken from another website Winning At Love - The Alpha Males Guide to Relationship Success. I'm going to buy it & give it a read.
Imajerk17 Posted May 3, 2012 Posted May 3, 2012 Labels like these are ridiculous. I mean, being direct and strong is quite cool, but thumping your chest about how you are an "alpha" is ridiculous. I've dated women who are personal trainers, one girl who is nationally ranked in a martial art, one woman who is a physical therapist (you have to be pretty strong to do that), and not one described herself as "alpha". Even though they are all smart and strong and successful. I like a woman who is direct but there is a time and place. Otherwise, well, we'll end up getting together but I won't end up feeling it. I need to do some chasing. I need a girl who "gets" that. Ultimately I need to be the one to catch her and tackle her on the bed and rip her clothes off. 1
AD1980 Posted May 3, 2012 Posted May 3, 2012 Why all these labels? online seems to be the worst i dont see people overnallyzing and labeling alpha and beta in real life nearly as much 1
NeverDated Posted May 3, 2012 Posted May 3, 2012 Why all these labels? online seems to be the worst i dont see people overnallyzing and labeling alpha and beta in real life nearly as much Labels are a convenient way to avoid the problem and consequences. There is an established set of actions that are appropriate for any given label. Therefore, by applying that label, all accountability is ignored ("Oh, she's an alpha chick, makes total sense") and personal growth is averted. It's a very fancy way of saying, "This is who I am, ergo I am not responsible for my behavior or its effects." Intellectual removal of agency.
Author dsw31 Posted May 3, 2012 Author Posted May 3, 2012 Labels like these are ridiculous. I mean, being direct and strong is quite cool, but thumping your chest about how you are an "alpha" is ridiculous. I've dated women who are personal trainers, one girl who is nationally ranked in a martial art, one woman who is a physical therapist (you have to be pretty strong to do that), and not one described herself as "alpha". Even though they are all smart and strong and successful. I like a woman who is direct but there is a time and place. Otherwise, l, we'll end up getting together but I won't end up feeling it. I need to do some chasing. I need a girl who "gets" that. Ultimately I need to be the one to catch her and tackle her on the bed and rip her clothes off. I'm not thumping my chest at all.I am asking for honest suggestions. If you met me in real life, you'd have no idea I would say these kinds of things.I'm taking off my "mask" on an annonymous forum for suggestions & recomendations. Call it a label, if you will but, about 40% of the population are alpha.
Imajerk17 Posted May 3, 2012 Posted May 3, 2012 (edited) I'm not thumping my chest at all.I am asking for honest suggestions. If you met me in real life, you'd have no idea I would say these kinds of things.I'm taking off my "mask" on an annonymous forum for suggestions & recomendations. Call it a label, if you will but, about 40% of the population are alpha. (1) Ask guys out, but let them take the lead on dates. Talk to them about how you're looking for a man to step up and match your energy. The right guy will take this as a challenge. (2) Talk about what you are passionate about. Women with big hearts are extremely sexy. (3) Show appreciation for his chivalry and let him be "the man". I tend to play "crossing guard" when I am walking with a woman and either put my arm in front of her, lightly touching her, when we are not to cross, or my hand lightly on her back when we are to cross. One woman didn't like that. She wouldn't get me and my instincts to protect. Not cool IMO. (4) Support HIS passions. When a woman believes in us, it inspires us as you would never believe. That you're strong means that your support of us is turbocharged. (5) Make a point of looking really nice from time to time. Do up your nails--both finger and toes, and let him know. Yes I know, we men will only undress you with our eyes, but here's the thing. It's not just that you look so nice, it's the TROUBLE you put into making yourself look so alluring *just for me* that turns me on and makes me feel as the man. (6) Have an understanding of basic gender roles. It's on us to provide protection and (sometimes) emotional strength. It's on YOU to provide empathy and to help US get in touch with our emotions. We're not good at it so YOU help us do that. Sometimes you are lover, sometimes you are the challenger who calls us out when we need it, AND sometimes you are the teddy bear, both physical and emotional. Don't forget to be the teddy bear! Got a little carried away there. Hope this helps.... Edited May 3, 2012 by Imajerk17
Quiet Storm Posted May 3, 2012 Posted May 3, 2012 I always thought an alpha female was more like an alpha female wolf. She is dominant over other females, but still defers to her alpha male. She has the alpha's babies and the other females are jealous of her, but the male is still boss. In the human world, I have noticed that most women do not want to dominate their men. They may say they do and make jokes about how their man is "whipped" or whatever, but in most cases these women are not sexually attracted to their "whipped" man. Many women try to dominate their man, but its often just a test to see how he'll react. The males that become subservient will lose her respect. So I would try to find a male that will not defer to you. You can challenge or argue with him, and he'll give it right back to you. After years of this power struggle, if you settle into a family life and have babies with your alpha male, I think you will argue less and be less competitive. (this happened with me and my husband). If you have children, your focus will likely become less about "winning" and more about mutual respect and providing a positive environment for your family. You won't lose your alpha power, your strength and assertiveness will still be evident to coworkers, friends, your kids teachers, etc.
Author dsw31 Posted May 3, 2012 Author Posted May 3, 2012 (1) Ask guys out, but let them take the lead on dates. Talk to them about how you're looking for a man to step up and match your energy. The right guy will take this as a challenge. (2) Talk about what you are passionate about. Women with big hearts are extremely sexy. (3) Show appreciation for his chivalry and let him be "the man". I tend to play "crossing guard" when I am walking with a woman and either put my arm in front of her, lightly touching her, when we are not to cross, or my hand lightly on her back when we are to cross. One woman didn't like that. She wouldn't get me and my instincts to protect. Not cool IMO. (4) Support HIS passions. When a woman believes in us, it inspires us as you would never believe. That you're strong means that your support of us is turbocharged. (5) Make a point of looking really nice from time to time. Do up your nails--both finger and toes, and let him know. Yes I know, we men will only undress you with our eyes, but here's the thing. It's not just that you look so nice, it's the TROUBLE you put into making yourself look so alluring just for us that turns us on and makes us feel as the man. Hope this helps.... Ok, all good points Imajerk. I do all of those things as well.I have no trouble meeting, dating, or even keeping a man.My problem is trying to find a guy that I am happy with, who is balanced in the middle. I am only excited by almost abusive men & am bored by "normal" nice guys.
threebyfate Posted May 3, 2012 Posted May 3, 2012 This has nothing to do with being alpha or not, regardless of gender. No one is right all the time and if you're unable to compromise and bend over some of the time for your partner and loved ones, where your partner and loved ones reciprocate, you haven't matured sufficiently to enter a healthy relationship. 1
Imajerk17 Posted May 3, 2012 Posted May 3, 2012 Ok, all good points Imajerk. I do all of those things as well.I have no trouble meeting, dating, or even keeping a man.My problem is trying to find a guy that I am happy with, who is balanced in the middle. I am only excited by almost abusive men & am bored by "normal" nice guys. I actually edited and expanded my post after you read it. Unfortunately a guy who is balanced in the middle as you mentioned is quite rare. As far as finding such a guy, all I can say for now is to put yourself in a better environment.
manup Posted May 3, 2012 Posted May 3, 2012 An alpha girl is the leader of the pack Some characteristics of an alpha girl are competitiveness, self directness, determination, tenacity, aggressiveness (when necessary), and a strong sense of a mission. A woman with these characteristics, may also have charisma.Which she can use to charm others into getting her way & accomplishing her goals. She also knows how to move from charisma, to using intimidation to meet her ends.She may overtly threaten to leave, or hurt, in one way or the other, someone who thwarts her. These characteristics prevent others from trying to take advantage of her, her family, or her friends. In her marriage or relationships however, these same characteristics that made her successful, in the outside world, can often ruin a relationship. Alpa characteristics may leave a woman short & impatient with her partner.She may not want to take time to listen to her partners' point of view.She may feel there's only one way...and it's her way.This often makes it tough to participate in team work. A male in a relationship with an alpha female, may often find himself agreeing with her, even if he disagrees, because arguing with her is a wearing process & she's likely to win anyway.He often feels like it's a relationship where he is dominated. To her - it feels boring because there is no one to meet her strength & power. An alpha female with an alpha male, may find herself constantly arguing, or fighting, or burying her alpha characteristics because he is dominant. In either case the relationship may not be a healthy one. Most alpha women will enjoy the thrill of success, in the business or executive world.Then after midlife, they realize that they may have neglected to start a family life & the biological clock is ticking. When they review their dating lives so far, they may see a number of failed relationships. So what's an alpha girl to do? Should we compromise? Hmmmm??? Ah the alpha female, high T women usually pair well with emotional or high estrogen men. This isn't to say that he has man boobs and a mangina just that you two might match together well. OR wait until your alpha male dreamboat is a good 8-16 years older than you, he might be divorced or have kids but it's the closest you'll get to you dream guy. Younger alpha types, meaning successful, outgoing and good looking have too many options and you simply (most of the time) are not what they'll want for a long term relationship or marriage.
Author dsw31 Posted May 3, 2012 Author Posted May 3, 2012 I always thought an alpha female was more like an alpha female wolf. She is dominant over other females, but still defers to her alpha male. She has the alpha's babies and the other females are jealous of her, but the male is still boss. In the human world, I have noticed that most women do not want to dominate their men. They may say they do and make jokes about how their man is "whipped" or whatever, but in most cases these women are not sexually attracted to their "whipped" man. Many women try to dominate their man, but its often just a test to see how he'll react. The males that become subservient will lose her respect. So I would try to find a male that will not defer to you. You can challenge or argue with him, and he'll give it right back to you. After years of this power struggle, if you settle into a family life and have babies with your alpha male, I think you will argue less and be less competitive. (this happened with me and my husband). If you have children, your focus will likely become less about "winning" and more about mutual respect and providing a positive environment for your family. You won't lose your alpha power, your strength and assertiveness will still be evident to coworkers, friends, your kids teachers, etc. Yes-I can relate to everything you are saying!! So there is hope with another alpha man?
Imajerk17 Posted May 3, 2012 Posted May 3, 2012 (edited) Yes-I can relate to everything you are saying!! So there is hope with another alpha man? If he is high-character and so are you, then yes. Edited May 3, 2012 by Imajerk17
SteveC80 Posted May 3, 2012 Posted May 3, 2012 (edited) I always thought an alpha female was more like an alpha female wolf. She is dominant over other females, but still defers to her alpha male. She has the alpha's babies and the other females are jealous of her, but the male is still boss. In the human world, I have noticed that most women do not want to dominate their men. They may say they do and make jokes about how their man is "whipped" or whatever, but in most cases these women are not sexually attracted to their "whipped" man. Many women try to dominate their man, but its often just a test to see how he'll react. The males that become subservient will lose her respect. So I would try to find a male that will not defer to you. You can challenge or argue with him, and he'll give it right back to you. After years of this power struggle, if you settle into a family life and have babies with your alpha male, I think you will argue less and be less competitive. (this happened with me and my husband). If you have children, your focus will likely become less about "winning" and more about mutual respect and providing a positive environment for your family. You won't lose your alpha power, your strength and assertiveness will still be evident to coworkers, friends, your kids teachers, etc. I agree every "alpha" female ive ever been with put on a front like she was running things but deep down i doNt think wOmen are made to lead relationships and be dominate and assertive its not in their nature.. Subconsiously they want to be submissive and dominated..The alpha females i dated once i put my foot down and told em im running things and when i tossed her and ravaged her in the bedroom where she was used to being the dominate alpha one turned into a demure quiet little church mouse in the relationship who let me run the show and tell her what ways is up and what ways down.. Women do not respect man who dont lead and make the decison in a relaitnship point blank...it migth not be pc to say but women want to "look up" to their man and see him as better then her in some way.. In some ways alpha females when shown the way of a alpha male for the first time become evne more submissive then average women because they love the feeling of vulnerability and being feminine.. The thigns they wantd me to do with them in the bedroom was crazy because they wanted to let go of that power and beign agressive and manly and let their feminine desire of beign taken by the caveman go for once Edited May 3, 2012 by SteveC80 1
Author dsw31 Posted May 3, 2012 Author Posted May 3, 2012 (edited) I agree every "alpha" female ive ever been with put on a front like she was running things but deep down i doNt think wOmen are made to lead relationships and be dominate and assertive its not in their nature.. Subconsiously they want to be submissive and dominated..The alpha females i dated once i put my foot down and told em im running things and when i tossed her and ravaged her in the bedroom where she was used to being the dominate alpha one turned into a demure quiet little church mouse in the relationship who let me run the show and tell her what ways is up and what ways down.. Women do not respect man who dont lead and make the decison in a relaitnship point blank...it migth not be pc to say but women want to "look up" to their man and see him as better then her in some way.. In some ways alpha females when shown the way of a alpha male for the first time become evne more submissive then average women because they love the feeling of vulnerability and being feminine.. The thigns they wantd me to do with them in the bedroom was crazy because they wanted to let go of that power and beign agressive and manly and let their feminine desire of beign taken by the caveman go for once All very true (when in a relationship with another alpha man) But the DO and ARE capable of being leaders in other parts of life. Edited May 3, 2012 by dsw31
wwwjd Posted May 3, 2012 Posted May 3, 2012 I agree every "alpha" female ive ever been with put on a front like she was running things but deep down i doNt think wOmen are made to lead relationships and be dominate and assertive its not in their nature.. Subconsiously they want to be submissive and dominated..The alpha females i dated once i put my foot down and told em im running things and when i tossed her and ravaged her in the bedroom where she was used to being the dominate alpha one turned into a demure quiet little church mouse in the relationship who let me run the show and tell her what ways is up and what ways down.. Women do not respect man who dont lead and make the decison in a relaitnship point blank...it migth not be pc to say but women want to "look up" to their man and see him as better then her in some way.. In some ways alpha females when shown the way of a alpha male for the first time become evne more submissive then average women because they love the feeling of vulnerability and being feminine.. The thigns they wantd me to do with them in the bedroom was crazy because they wanted to let go of that power and beign agressive and manly and let their feminine desire of beign taken by the caveman go for once My experiences also. Now... where's the popcorn?
AD1980 Posted May 3, 2012 Posted May 3, 2012 I agree every "alpha" female ive ever been with put on a front like she was running things but deep down i doNt think wOmen are made to lead relationships and be dominate and assertive its not in their nature.. Subconsiously they want to be submissive and dominated..The alpha females i dated once i put my foot down and told em im running things and when i tossed her and ravaged her in the bedroom where she was used to being the dominate alpha one turned into a demure quiet little church mouse in the relationship who let me run the show and tell her what ways is up and what ways down.. Women do not respect man who dont lead and make the decison in a relaitnship point blank...it migth not be pc to say but women want to "look up" to their man and see him as better then her in some way.. In some ways alpha females when shown the way of a alpha male for the first time become evne more submissive then average women because they love the feeling of vulnerability and being feminine.. The thigns they wantd me to do with them in the bedroom was crazy because they wanted to let go of that power and beign agressive and manly and let their feminine desire of beign taken by the caveman go for once SO all women want to be lead like a child and told what to do by a man like a weak 1950's housewife? I doubt it
Author dsw31 Posted May 3, 2012 Author Posted May 3, 2012 (edited) SO all women want to be lead like a child and told what to do by a man like a weak 1950's housewife? I doubt it Not every woman..Alpha women want to be told what to do by Alpha men. In the 1950s, women had to surpress those characteristics.That's why none of them made money.They were all house wives. Edited May 3, 2012 by dsw31
wwwjd Posted May 3, 2012 Posted May 3, 2012 SO all women want to be lead like a child and told what to do by a man like a weak 1950's housewife? I doubt it Why jump to ALL women? the post said "every "alpha" female ive ever been with". Never said All. Let's not go there. Many of us have actually experienced these women, like it or not, THIS is what we have seen. We're not twisting it, just relaying it in this topic.
AD1980 Posted May 3, 2012 Posted May 3, 2012 Not every woman..Alpha women want to be told what to do by Alpha men. In the 1950s, women had to surpress those characteristics.That's why none of them made money.They were all house wives. Why would anyone want to be told what to do? Its suppposed to be a partnership not a dictatorship or a parent/child relationship
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