darkmoon Posted May 4, 2012 Posted May 4, 2012 Good to know that the trailer park (or, in you case, counsel estate) niche of society is gaining strength. That kind fo proves my point though... not a bit of it; you've only got to look at celebrities who routinely wear low-cut gowns to see i'm right people approve of them, fans gather...
Feelsgoodman Posted May 4, 2012 Posted May 4, 2012 Wrong, they award primary custody to the historical primary care giver. The court's concern resides with the health and well-being of children which includes the semblance of continuity. If more men want to have primary custody, they should become the historical care givers. I know the theory, believe me. in reality, the courts always consider the mother to be a "historical primary care giver". Not many men are known for breastfeeding their kids. 1
Feelsgoodman Posted May 4, 2012 Posted May 4, 2012 not a bit of it; you've only got to look at celebrities who routinely wear low-cut gowns to see i'm right people approve of them, fans gather... And celebrities are idolized by the marginal classes.
darkmoon Posted May 4, 2012 Posted May 4, 2012 And celebrities are idolized by the marginal classes. and so who do you think you are?
fucpcg Posted May 4, 2012 Posted May 4, 2012 I think many of the passive, timid men on here might be better as househusbands. Wow that statement is a joke, #1. And #2, you are slandering your own team, because if it takes a timid, passive person to run the house, then you women are by default befitting of this description, for 1,000s of years. However I won't even go there either. I'll just say that my former Chicago Police Officer buddy, supreme man, athlete, and bodybuilder, raises his girls while his wife and ridiculously rich family brings in the bacon, and he is an amazing father. And after my 22 years in the wholesale distribution business ownership, I'd gladly stay home and raise the children, as to me nothing in the business world is more valuable than being with the kids. If you think a timid, passive man is a good man to run the house, go for it. If you are saying that it takes a timid, passive person in general to run the house, I have quite a few men who'd love to check you on that statement, but I am sure the line would form behind quite a few women who would like to check you themselves.
Mme. Chaucer Posted May 4, 2012 Posted May 4, 2012 The fact that men are withdrawing from society is not a good thing Where will you all be going? To enjoy male bonding and fire dancing in caves together?
Feelsgoodman Posted May 4, 2012 Posted May 4, 2012 and so who do you think you are? I'm not the one parroting celebrities.
Mme. Chaucer Posted May 4, 2012 Posted May 4, 2012 Too bad the feminist-controlled divorce court system does not recognize this and awards primary custody to the mother 95% of the time. The person I was responding to said that he did not wish to raise his kids. If there was a divorce in that situation, it was a good idea for custody not to have gone to him. Assuming, of course, that their mother did not have a problem with raising them … which, according to that poster's logic, she certainly wouldn't, having birthed them and all.
darkmoon Posted May 4, 2012 Posted May 4, 2012 I'm not the one parroting celebrities. that's what you are not, ok, but i asked who you do you think you are? hazard a guess!
Feelsgoodman Posted May 4, 2012 Posted May 4, 2012 that's what you are not, ok, but i asked who you do you think you are? hazard a guess! Not a counsel estate resident?
Author FitChick Posted May 4, 2012 Author Posted May 4, 2012 I'd be a perfect househusband, working from home now as it is. If she worked long and hard enough, I could do away with my own work entirely. But can you cook?
darkmoon Posted May 4, 2012 Posted May 4, 2012 (edited) Not a counsel estate resident? the question remains unanswered - who do you think you are? feelsgoodman sounds like you are a hedonist, but only when it suits you cuz you do not like low-cut tops on women, but you said this on the dressing for summer thread "The trick to getting a boyfriend is to wear jeans that are cut low enough to make your butt crack and tramp stamp clearly visible" Edited May 4, 2012 by darkmoon
Author FitChick Posted May 4, 2012 Author Posted May 4, 2012 If you are saying that it takes a timid, passive person in general to run the house, I have quite a few men who'd love to check you on that statement, but I am sure the line would form behind quite a few women who would like to check you themselves. You missed my point. With so many virginal men who are unemployed and living in their parents' basement with no prospects and no gumption, they reminded me of women in the early 20th Century, who only left home on the day they married. With more women making more money and needing someone to handle daily tasks, I thought this option might give these poor saps some hope for the future. I personally don't date men like that and sure as hell wouldn't marry one!
musemaj11 Posted May 4, 2012 Posted May 4, 2012 Being a stay at home spouse is overrated. Its an easy job unless you have triplets or something. The hardest part of being a stay at home spouse for me is probably the brain rotting indeed.
wwwjd Posted May 4, 2012 Posted May 4, 2012 So, you're a father. But because you didn't physically give birth to your kids, you never "connected on that level" and did not want to raise them?!?! That's really sad. And you attribute this all to biology, don't you. Thank goodness you're not the norm for dads. A lot of fathers really want to raise their kids, and that's what they do. Jeez. A$$ U ME MUCH? I DON'T HAVE KIDS! It was my example of how I can NOT GIVE BIRTH and thus will never have a connection a REAL MOTHER has to her birth children and THEREFORE can never be just like a "Stay At Home Mother" since the emphasis on the M since that is what the original question was pertaining to. I await your apology for your wrong assumptions of MY parenting skills, perspective and interest.
Mme. Chaucer Posted May 4, 2012 Posted May 4, 2012 Jeez. A$$ U ME MUCH? I DON'T HAVE KIDS! It was my example of how I can NOT GIVE BIRTH and thus will never have a connection a REAL MOTHER has to her birth children and THEREFORE can never be just like a "Stay At Home Mother" since the emphasis on the M since that is what the original question was pertaining to. I await your apology for your wrong assumptions of MY parenting skills, perspective and interest. Apology? I think not! Since you said you never wanted to raise your kids: Originally Posted by wwwjd I'm male, so no, I've never given birth to my kids, connected on that level and wanted to raise them. anyone reading your post would take that as saying that you actually HAVE kids. So, you don't have any kids - but if you did have them, you would not want to raise them or "connect on that level" because you didn't physically give birth to them. You make your "perspective" on parenting clear, and also give quite a bit of insight as to what your "parenting skills" and interest in parenting might be. Got it. It's probably a good thing you have not fathered any children. Maybe by the time you do, if that time does come, you will have developed a different perspective on a parent's role. By the way, the original post was about HOUSE HUSBANDS, not SAHM's. And for the record, I know lots of people who have not physically given birth to children who have been tremendous, loving, bonded and connected parents . Men and women both. I also have known, and hear about in the media regularly, about people who HAVE physically given birth to children who are atrocious parents. Your reliance upon a sophomoric version of "biological imperative" to understand the relationships between human beings is probably not helping you very much in your real life. Ever think about expanding your mind? 1
Author FitChick Posted May 4, 2012 Author Posted May 4, 2012 anyone reading your post would take that as saying that you actually HAVE kids. Actually, no. When you said he had kids, I thought maybe I had missed something in one of his earlier posts. I knew he was just giving an example. It's just poor writing. He should have said, "I have never given birth to kids" not "my kids," but I knew his intent.
Mme. Chaucer Posted May 4, 2012 Posted May 4, 2012 It's just poor writing. He should have said, "I have never given birth to kids" not "my kids," but I knew his intent. Well, this is a forum that depends upon writing, so if a person uses poor writing skills which result in mistaken communication, that does not earn them an apology. I now understand that this guy has no kids, but he did make his perspective on parenting quite clear anyway. He doesn't want to raise kids (his own, if there were any) because he didn't physically squeeze them out.
wwwjd Posted May 4, 2012 Posted May 4, 2012 I rarely have communication errors face to face. Can't help it on the internet. For the record, I've been told I'd be a GREAT parent by all girlfriends. Just no space for it in my life ATM
ohmygoshistalk Posted May 4, 2012 Posted May 4, 2012 i'll be ok with it as long as he puts out when i get home.
zengirl Posted May 4, 2012 Posted May 4, 2012 Why wouldn't your husband allow you to hire a nanny to do the "child minding"? Is that because he believed the "child minding" should predominantly be carried out by the parent? (I'm not talking about housekeepers/chefs/dog walkers/maids/gardeners, but of the person taking care of and raising your children.) As much as I didn't like the 'brain rot' comment, I don't think there's anything wrong with help either. Foisting the kids on a nanny ALL the time is bad, yes, but many people have PT or day nannies these days. I know some people that do, and they still raise their kids. I mean, when my Mom worked (she doesn't even have a career; she has a job) and I was little, I stayed at my grandparents till I was old enough to latchkey (which I see no problems with honestly, after a certain age, depending on your kid's maturity, etc). But if you don't have family help & can afford a nanny for working hours, why not? As long as you're attentive to your children when you're home. Honestly, it's good for kids to go to preschool and things like daycare/after care because they learn important social skills and, in the case of preschool, academic skills, at a level that many parents wouldn't be as capable as many Early Ed specialist (at the right preschools or if you get a good nanny) can do. A nanny to raise your children because you're disinterested? That seems wrong. A nanny as a supplement in care? I don't see the problem. Honestly, why pit various lifestyles against each other? I find no combination any more valid --- in a general sense --- than any other. I think as long as women are the ones physically having the babies, there is going to be more female attrition from the workforce than male. I think that's probably true, but I think we'll continue seeing more and more HH and SAHDs still as we move further out of gender roles. Statistically speaking, today's Dads are far more active parents and helpmates around the house in general than previous generations and it's only getting better. Courts are also giving Dads proper rights and awarding more joint custody than ever before (it's the norm now in the vast majority of divorces!). We have work to do on the notion of 'parenthood' rather than separate ideas of motherhood and fatherhood, but we've come a long way. It was my example of how I can NOT GIVE BIRTH and thus will never have a connection a REAL MOTHER has to her birth children and THEREFORE can never be just like a "Stay At Home Mother" since the emphasis on the M since that is what the original question was pertaining to. The original post was about Househusbands. Also, you're saying only mothers who give birth to their children are real mothers? And, as some addition to that poor logic, by which people who adopt children or use surrogates are not real parents, no father gives birth so he can never be a real parent or stay home with his kids?
wwwjd Posted May 4, 2012 Posted May 4, 2012 Semantics. I was going with "Mother" in my head as BIRTH-Mother... that whole connection I will never know I discussed in my previous locked thread. If one person got my initial intent, than it was understandable. Live conversation works better. I'm not a pro "internet debater" or anything, just a guy. If my potisition was house husband raising children, you can be dam-skippy sure THAT would be job one in my eyes, over my own fun. AND those kids would be very well trained, respecting everyone, with manners, know their place in the world. VERY unlike a good many of the kids I see A LOT in public that look and act more like some parents afterthought after a lack of birth control accident. Raising a fellow human from birth to adulthood IS a huge job and I see many people that fail to qualify. Except for the conception part. Like THAT'S real tough! And yes, I'd completely learn to cook amazing meals, AND "put out" as much as she can handle until her mind is fried, legs are trembling, parts are worn, and SHE falls asleep due to exhaustion. ... hmmmm I'm starting to really like this idea now. What are those SugarMamma websites again??
fucpcg Posted May 4, 2012 Posted May 4, 2012 You missed my point. With so many virginal men who are unemployed and living in their parents' basement with no prospects and no gumption, they reminded me of women in the early 20th Century, who only left home on the day they married. With more women making more money and needing someone to handle daily tasks, I thought this option might give these poor saps some hope for the future. I personally don't date men like that and sure as hell wouldn't marry one! Good! There are that many virgin men living at home with parents?? I wouldn't know, I don't date men!
threebyfate Posted May 4, 2012 Posted May 4, 2012 AND those kids would be very well trained, respecting everyone, with manners, know their place in the world. Children aren't pets to be trained. They're human beings who if you treat with a lack of respect and erode on their self-esteem, will manifest as disrespectful, low self-esteem adults, the minute they're capable of openly rebelling.
Cypress25 Posted May 4, 2012 Posted May 4, 2012 If my potisition was house husband raising children, you can be dam-skippy sure THAT would be job one in my eyes, over my own fun. AND those kids would be very well trained, respecting everyone, with manners, know their place in the world. Ha! Every parent thinks they're going to raise perfect little angels because they will do parenting right, unlike all those other parents. It's not as simple as "good parent = good child." Children have other influences in their lives besides their parents. And eventually they will develop their own personality, their own beliefs, their own opinions. Kids aren't pieces of clay that can be molded. Ever wonder why kids who were raised by strict parents always end up rebelling? If you think your kids will always follow your rules and obey your commands, you're in for a rude awakening.
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