without Posted May 3, 2012 Posted May 3, 2012 a guy i like ,although i know he was a douche but i really really liked him told me that he won't date me cuz I don't smoke pot, I'm too sensitive, I don't stay out alot, and i'm 6 years younger than him and just because i like videogames doesn't mean we're good together. well for the age i like to date older men.. and i don't think 5 or 6 years is alot. but i'm so sad am i not cool?was his reasons ok to you? flash back: i wanted to be his date when we first met he said no he doesn't want to date anyone at this point of his life we were friends afterwards ,at first it was really good and we shared alot with eachother.music movies clothes videogames many things...i started to love him. he has depression and after a while he was so quite he said its for weather too he said he has s.a.d in spite of depression.( from the first he said he's introvert and won't say what he wants he's afraid of what ppl may say...) but even afterwards he didn't want to see me or talked alot.i always thought he's afraid of getting hurt also self conscious about his height( although he was but turned out to be very proud of himself,he has a good looking face).after a while he kept adding bimbos the ones who show their bodies in their pics... and flirting ..one of them even made sex sounds in his pro...and i got sooo hurt and broken hearted...i deleted him and told him i can't see him like that he said don't be a baby and add me again but he got worse and worse .i did it 3 times and the 2 times he said if he wants to date anyone that'll be me.but then again he added hot girls and they were real ****** I loved him o much so i kept asking him if he doesn't like me or whats the prob does he like bimbos?he answered so badly and said he doesn't want to talk about these stuff finally after too much drama and not talking he said those things my heart broke...and strated to cry. :(at some point he even said he loves to be hated...
Philosoraptor Posted May 3, 2012 Posted May 3, 2012 In the end if someone doesn't like you just the way you are, that's not going to change. Find someone who values you for you and you shall find a more fulfilling relationship.
Author without Posted May 3, 2012 Author Posted May 3, 2012 tell me do you think i'm not cool too? i'm already disappointed from my last break up... with this guy i stared to question my everything my looks my body...i always thought i'm very ugly that he doesn't want me...he had too many femake friends and all of them very beautiful and idk why but they all loved him...i felt downer and downer everyday,most of them were b***** of course..and i'm not ugly!and my body is not bad either!.... I always thought he likes me but is afraid of sth...and was too kind to him...he used silent treatment and it was really abusing...i told him truthfully how i feel at every stage.
Philosoraptor Posted May 3, 2012 Posted May 3, 2012 It matters not what anyone else thinks about you. It's called self esteem for a reason. He seems like a real piece of crap though and you will find better. Do I think you're not cool? Nah, not at all. I don't smoke anything, I'm very sensitive, and I don't stay out late. I think I'm awesome just the way I am and if someone doesn't agree that is their problem. You can't let anyone else's opinion have an impact on how you feel about yourself. The people who like you just the way you are are the ones that you want to spend your time with. 1
Glove_slap Posted May 4, 2012 Posted May 4, 2012 losers are the coolest people in the f-ing world. the saddest thing is that they don't realize it. Everyone else are always trying to impress one another, trying to conform to some loose idea of beauty/popularity. Losers by choice or loser by failure, embrace it! I'd totally date you, I mean I can't say that I don't smoke pot as I only do it during summer time - school school school !!! - He's probably just trying to neg you so you would feel more insecure about yourself and then find refuge in his presence. From the read of this post it seems like it's working . Forget that douche. 1
jennisfora Posted May 4, 2012 Posted May 4, 2012 he sounds shallow. i think he probably just wasnt interested and used those things because he couldn't think of a better reason. either way, he isn't interested, and so that's that. as far as you being "cool" goes, that is an opinion, and his doesn't carry any more weight than anyone else's. you like what you like, and dress how you like to dress. be yourself. the right person will think it is cool. they will be attracted to you because they like who you are...btw, i think smoking pot isn't cool, just my opinion of course, and i love video games. having different likes and dislikes is part of what makes a person interesting. *hugs* 1
Author without Posted May 4, 2012 Author Posted May 4, 2012 i just don't know ...why he changed...maybe he doesn't like me ..or he didn't from the start...or i hurt him so he says these things to me....
Philosoraptor Posted May 4, 2012 Posted May 4, 2012 i just don't know ...why he changed...maybe he doesn't like me ..or he didn't from the start...or i hurt him so he says these things to me.... His reasons do not matter. He doesn't seem like a very well mannered person and you deserve someone who will treat you well.
Author without Posted May 4, 2012 Author Posted May 4, 2012 His reasons do not matter. He doesn't seem like a very well mannered person and you deserve someone who will treat you well. yes you're right.i do.. i just sometimes think that's my fault cuz he said i'm not good at handling being just friends with him...well i couldn't cuz i loved him i couldn't see him adding all the ***** ...and i don't know if he was mad at me or he just doesn't like me... he was just so unique..and i thought he liked me but then again maybe he didn't...
geegirl Posted May 4, 2012 Posted May 4, 2012 (edited) You have to snap out of this "please love me, please, I'm so cool" mentality. Defining who you are based on words from a shallow and ugly person is damaging. Do you think he's cool? I think he stinks. If a pot-smoking, womanizing, depressed douchebag can make you question your self-worth, then you really need to rethink how much you value yourself and start working on setting higher standards and boundaries for yourself. He's unique? I'm lost? What's unique about a douchebag? You're in lalaland. Edited May 4, 2012 by geegirl
Author without Posted May 4, 2012 Author Posted May 4, 2012 well apart from his emotional side ...he had a unique character ..a painter and has a great taste in everything( other than women) ..and i really like guys that are calm except the fact that his emotional side sucks and has turned into a complete **** i like him ...
Author without Posted May 4, 2012 Author Posted May 4, 2012 but you all are right i do deserve a better man the problem is i haven't seen any around me. and any guy who likes will chase you after a while and wants to get back together right?so if he doesn't then he didin't like me to start with.
Philosoraptor Posted May 4, 2012 Posted May 4, 2012 If you haven't seen better than this ******* then I'd suggest moving. For now, expand your social circle and the radius in which you are looking for possible partners. The best place to meet someone is somwhere you are already doing something you enjoy. If you enjoy hikes meet someone on the path. If you enjoy swimming meet someone by the pool... etc. Just be yourself and you will find the right person for you. 1
geegirl Posted May 4, 2012 Posted May 4, 2012 Great, he's a painter. What other qualities does he have? Compassion, kindness, empathy, honesty, etc? Values and morals? What you are in love with is surface level. Video games, sharing clothes, music, etc. Surface level interests don't translate to love. You're most likely caught up with his looks and the fact that he has women clamouring all over him and it bothers you that he is not choosing you. You want what you cannot have. So now you question what about you is lacking since he won't pay attention to you. What about these other girls garners his interest? If you keep doing that all your life you'll be living your life through the eyes of others rather than your own. Be YOU and embrace who you are as a person. Never let anyone, especially a man define who you are. Time to stop looking for validation from someone else, especially painter man with douchebaggery tendencies.
Author without Posted May 4, 2012 Author Posted May 4, 2012 If you haven't seen better than this ******* then I'd suggest moving. For now, expand your social circle and the radius in which you are looking for possible partners. The best place to meet someone is somwhere you are already doing something you enjoy. If you enjoy hikes meet someone on the path. If you enjoy swimming meet someone by the pool... etc. Just be yourself and you will find the right person for you. well yeah but i don't live in country where i can easily find someone i like...and all the girls are changing into ****** just think about how they look and boys just want to bang them.. i wish i could live somewhere where there were more healthy people.
Philosoraptor Posted May 4, 2012 Posted May 4, 2012 I'd opt to be single and content with myself rather than being in an unfulfilling relationship with someone who treats me poorly. I made that choice actually awhile back... it's worked very well and I'm happier than I can remember being in a very long time. 2
Author without Posted May 4, 2012 Author Posted May 4, 2012 I'd opt to be single and content with myself rather than being in an unfulfilling relationship with someone who treats me poorly. I made that choice actually awhile back... it's worked very well and I'm happier than I can remember being in a very long time. i should do the same.
Philosoraptor Posted May 4, 2012 Posted May 4, 2012 i should do the same. If nothing else it will put you in a better mental state and help improve your people picker for the future. 1
Author without Posted May 4, 2012 Author Posted May 4, 2012 If nothing else it will put you in a better mental state and help improve your people picker for the future. thanks.yup definitely you're right.i feel emotionally drained.
jennisfora Posted May 4, 2012 Posted May 4, 2012 he is a painter? maybe you are attracted to creative people? are there art galleries or coffee shops, or museum where you live? hang out at cultural centers, and you will meet people that are into culture, if that is what you want to meet. otherwise, being single isn't so bad. you don't have to cater to anyone else, you can decide to do things on a whim and not have to consult anyone, there are advantages. someone will come along who will appreciate you. *hugs*
Author without Posted May 5, 2012 Author Posted May 5, 2012 he is a painter? maybe you are attracted to creative people? are there art galleries or coffee shops, or museum where you live? hang out at cultural centers, and you will meet people that are into culture, if that is what you want to meet. otherwise, being single isn't so bad. you don't have to cater to anyone else, you can decide to do things on a whim and not have to consult anyone, there are advantages. someone will come along who will appreciate you. *hugs* I will...for now i miss him alot,and it just hurts when i remember he doesn't even care about me...
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