Thatguy80 Posted May 3, 2012 Posted May 3, 2012 Hey all! I've run into a situation that I'm really not sure how to handle. About 4 months ago, I became friends with a girl that entered my social circle. Pretty much right away I would notice her staring at me quite often and would seem to make a lot of effort to ge near me in hopes I would talk to her. One time when I caught her staring she tried to look away so fast I'm surprised she didn't break her neck, it looked pretty funny. Once when i sat next to her for the first time, she could not sit still for about 20 minutes or so - I guess she was nervous. As we got to know each other better, the staring still happens but she'll now engage me in conversation more, good eye contact and very smiley. Personality wise she's pretty outgoing once she knows someone, but pretty shy before that. Anyways, the other day I was talking to her and asked her out to lunch which I think caught her off guard. She paused for a second and Replied that she could on a certain day. I said ok, here's my number which she put in her phone and texted me then. She was extremely nervous during this to where she spelled her name wrong when she texted me, was fidgetting with her phone and dropped it several times. We chatted for about 10 minutes after this during which she seemed very cheerful, but really nervous. She said like 2-3 times, if I don't text you for lunch, be sure to text me. I told her I wouldn't but was laughing when I did. Not really sure why she said this, how hard is it to remember to send a message? Well the day came up when we had planned the lunch and I did not hear from her, and I did not contact her either. My thoughts are if she was interested, she would have contacted me. I just don't know why she might have flaked. I've been out of "the game" for a little while so maybe I'm out of sync. I would be shocked it I misread this girl and she doesn't like me at all. I mean that could still be it though... Any insight would be appreciated!
Andy_K Posted May 3, 2012 Posted May 3, 2012 If she's that shy and nervous, you need to be the one taking the lead. She's probably sat there thinking that you'll surely text if you're interested
veggirl Posted May 3, 2012 Posted May 3, 2012 Hellooooo!! Why didn't you contact her! She was clearly interested in you and said "if I don't text you, text me" and you agreed. Way to make her more nervous and insecure by not doing so. Geez. If someone is CLEARLY that nervous, you can't do her a favor by taking the lead a bit? 1
verhrzn Posted May 3, 2012 Posted May 3, 2012 So she tells you directly to text her if you don't hear from her... and you ignore her request. First bit of advice: if a woman spells out, plainly, what she wants, do not ignore it.
jobaba Posted May 3, 2012 Posted May 3, 2012 Hey all! I've run into a situation that I'm really not sure how to handle. About 4 months ago, I became friends with a girl that entered my social circle. Pretty much right away I would notice her staring at me quite often and would seem to make a lot of effort to ge near me in hopes I would talk to her. One time when I caught her staring she tried to look away so fast I'm surprised she didn't break her neck, it looked pretty funny. Once when i sat next to her for the first time, she could not sit still for about 20 minutes or so - I guess she was nervous. As we got to know each other better, the staring still happens but she'll now engage me in conversation more, good eye contact and very smiley. Personality wise she's pretty outgoing once she knows someone, but pretty shy before that. Anyways, the other day I was talking to her and asked her out to lunch which I think caught her off guard. She paused for a second and Replied that she could on a certain day. I said ok, here's my number which she put in her phone and texted me then. She was extremely nervous during this to where she spelled her name wrong when she texted me, was fidgetting with her phone and dropped it several times. We chatted for about 10 minutes after this during which she seemed very cheerful, but really nervous. She said like 2-3 times, if I don't text you for lunch, be sure to text me. I told her I wouldn't but was laughing when I did. Not really sure why she said this, how hard is it to remember to send a message? Well the day came up when we had planned the lunch and I did not hear from her, and I did not contact her either. My thoughts are if she was interested, she would have contacted me. I just don't know why she might have flaked. I've been out of "the game" for a little while so maybe I'm out of sync. I would be shocked it I misread this girl and she doesn't like me at all. I mean that could still be it though... Any insight would be appreciated! I rarely say this to guys, but ... it would appear as though you f@cked up.
Author Thatguy80 Posted May 3, 2012 Author Posted May 3, 2012 Thanks all. Maybe I was kind if a jerk on the part where I didn't contact her. Sometimes it's hard to see clearly when I'm in the situation. The thing I don't understand is why she didn't text me? I understand the whole man taking the lead part, but Specifically ask her to text me that morning to let me know if it's on. I mean if she forgot or is not willing to send a text, then how could she be interested? That's really the part I don't understand. I'm not a jerk, really Lol. Thanks so much for the input on this.
veggirl Posted May 3, 2012 Posted May 3, 2012 Thanks all. Maybe I was kind if a jerk on the part where I didn't contact her. Sometimes it's hard to see clearly when I'm in the situation. The thing I don't understand is why she didn't text me? I understand the whole man taking the lead part, but Specifically ask her to text me that morning to let me know if it's on. I mean if she forgot or is not willing to send a text, then how could she be interested? That's really the part I don't understand. I'm not a jerk, really Lol. Thanks so much for the input on this. Because she was N-E-R-V-O-U-S and probably felt stupid for having dropped her phone and fumbled the whole time you were talking to her. She wanted to know if YOU were still interested in her after she was like that. Why don't you go ahead and text her and apologize for not doing so the other day and set another date? (if you like her that is. Do you?) Goofball. 1
Author Thatguy80 Posted May 3, 2012 Author Posted May 3, 2012 Thanks. Seems like the consensus is I'm blind and screwed up. I agree! I think I will message her. I was thinking it was her blowing our plans off, guess some insecurity got inside of me. Now to think of what to say to her...lol
Author Thatguy80 Posted May 6, 2012 Author Posted May 6, 2012 Looks like everyone was right. I went ahead and messaged her the other day and she got back to me right away saying she was sorry and had intentions of contacting me, but she had gotten stuck in a meeting and we would have been too rushed. She did not try to reschedule in that message. I sent another message afterwards which was a little out of character for me that said she seemed uncomfortable when I asked her to lunch and that I was not sure if she even wanted to or not, and it's cool if she doesnt. I stated that I did not want to be in that awkward situation if I decided to reschedule with her sometime(Meaning if she did NOT want to go in the first place). She replied back right away again and said she actually did want to go and that she's flaky sometimes (she actually said flaky which surprised me). She proposed that we might try again next week (no actual day or time). I might be seeing her tomorrow through a get-together at a mutual friends house. I'll need to decide if I want to bring it up and reschedule this myself or let her bring it up. I guess what really set me off about this is I have not been flaked on in a long time. Years ago I had a girl I was really into flake constantly on me and I think it messed me up some. When this happened I think I reverted back to that mindset and it made me extremely suspicious of her actions. Appreciate the help! Veggirl - Yes, I do like and see potential with this girl. It was just this incident that brought up bad memories for me and made me get very suspicious.
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