irc333 Posted May 3, 2012 Posted May 3, 2012 If a woman come's back with that, chances are she will wind up lying to you about herself? Yes? Okay, I had been getting to know this woman I met online for a while. We went out a couple of times and things are going nicely. Though I don't know her THAT well, I figured I'd at least be entitled to some things. For one, she asked me my last name...and I told her what it was....and she also asked what nationality it was. In a previous conversation, she told me her maiden name and the name she currently has....she legally still has her ex-husband's last name, because she didn't want to bother going through the paperwork and hassle of changing it back to her maiden name. I asked her what her maiden name was, and she says, "Why?" and I said, "Well, I think you told me before....and was wondering what it was. And she said she'd prefer not to tell me. And I pressed for it, because I told HER my last name, and she said, "it's personally...so What are you wanting to know next, my age and weight?" (rather sarcastic) And I said, "Well, I know your age, you're 40 from your dating profile" And she said, "That's the age I put" And I said, "You mean you LIED about your age in your dating profile??" SHe said, "You're making me mad, let's just drop it okay??" I was like "Fine....let's change the subject" After I got done talking with her, I spoke with a male friend, if he knew of women that were that so NON-revealing about their ages, that they'll lie about it (Even in real life, not online) And he said his EX WIFE lied about her age TO HIM, when they met....EVEN until they got married. She was 5 years old than her real age, and turns out she was 10 years older than her age. Now, this is a lie going INTO a marriage. He never questioned it, because he took her at her word. Some friends suggested her look at her driver's licence , but he thought not to do that because he trusted her. Anyone here, had any experiences...men, of dating a woman that never told you her TRUE age? Women seem to be ALLOWED to lie about certain things to adhere to some Peter Pan complex or trying to STAY youthful. If a woman lies about her age, don't question it ? Because you'll just disillusion her about her youth? That if she's 40, and you keep reminding her she's 45...you might piss her off? Another thing, I know a woman in real life that goes to my church...very pretty , single mom, kinda quiet. I noticed she was on Match.com. This allowed me a great opportunity to introduce myself, because I saw her around at the church but never had ar ason to approach her...so I did it online. This was when I was in my early 30's and she said she remembered me from there. And though she appreciated me contacting her, she thought our age diff. was too great. I was like 33 and she was in her late 30's, around 38. ANyhow, time marches on and I'm 39 and I see her on POF this time....shows that she's only 42. I did the math and the age difference DECREASED between us. lol Busted! Are women THAT bad about trying to hold onto their youth?
Emilia Posted May 3, 2012 Posted May 3, 2012 There are a lot of women who are insecure about their age and it's true that previous generations were taught that asking a lady's age was rude. I'm assuming that had more to do with some women being 'left on the shelf' beyond a certain age and ever married. People ask my age all the time because it isn't that easy to tell and I know they suspect I'm older than I look. I'm 39, it is what it says on my OLD profile too. I wouldn't want to be with someone who had an issue with that but not every woman is that forthright about it. Maybe if I was wrinkly I would have more of an issue with it, I don't know. It's weird to ask people's weight in person because you can tell whether you like their shape or not, how much they weight doesn't matter. However, I don't think it's right to lie about anything online because you only have the photos and that person's word to go by before you meet them. Once I have a whif of a guy lying about something I move on. He is a complete stranger, who knows what else he is hiding. Lack of confidence is also a turn off - and that's what hiding is really. Her saying you were making her mad was all smoke and mirrors, you have the right to know how old she is and whether she has been truthful about her profile.
kaylan Posted May 3, 2012 Posted May 3, 2012 (edited) Only insecure women have a problem being honest about little things like age or weight. Luckily I dont date those women. Plus I tend to be attracted to slim and average sized women and these chicks never have a problem telling me their weight if it comes up. In the past weight has come up if a thought a girl was really small or if we were talking about working out. I always get the answer and its no biggie. Its just regular convo. Btw, Id drop the dumb chick you were talking to. She lies on her profile and shes childish enough to get upset when you ask her the same questions shes asked of you. She sounds like a big bowl of insecure drama. Who wants that? =/ Edited May 3, 2012 by kaylan
xxoo Posted May 3, 2012 Posted May 3, 2012 Women seem to be ALLOWED to lie about certain things to adhere to some Peter Pan complex or trying to STAY youthful. Who allows them? Men who date them! Lying is a red flag. Some people overlook red flags when attraction is strong. It is usually a mistake. 1
kaylan Posted May 3, 2012 Posted May 3, 2012 Also OP. realize women trying to hold onto their youth and lying about it, is a direct result of how many men value women solely for their youth and looks. If more of us actually took women more seriously and valued more things about them, then youd have less chicks lying about this. Its kinda like how dudes will lie about how much money they make because a few gold diggers made them assume that to get a woman a guy needed to appear rich. 3
dasein Posted May 3, 2012 Posted May 3, 2012 Ah, the true confession time when the liars decide they need to fess up before the date. They always wait til the night before to confess. LOL. Had one tell me she was TWELVE years older than she put in the profile, several others had lied by five years. A few had actually been divorced much less time than they put in the profile. One had been divorced two more times than she said when we first talked on the phone. Another couple of them had been divorced 2-3 times when they had implied only once on the phone. As bad as those are, it's the ones who don't fess up, or fess up only partially to watch out for.
zengirl Posted May 3, 2012 Posted May 3, 2012 I'm sure some women do lie about those things on OLD. Personally, I don't see the point in any lies. If they're going to lie: Men lie about their marital status, height, and income on OLD, as I recall (from stats) and women lie about their age and weight. I've only ever ran into one guy who lied about age (left the date immediately after meeting him, as he was old enough to be my father and used a completely fake pic) and guys who were mildly 'lying' about height, and I honestly didn't care if the guy put himself an inch taller because it sounded good (think 5'8'' instead of 5'7'' -- who cares?). If he'd put himself SEVERAL inches taller, I'd raise an eyebrow because that's just a silly lie, but I never ran into anything super ridiculous except the one guy. At any rate, if someone lies to you, I say don't date them. No good reason to do so. I think it's fine to fail to disclose - if it's not misrepresentation - in many cases because you don't have to put every aspect of yourself in a public profile.
veggirl Posted May 3, 2012 Posted May 3, 2012 Weird things to lie about. It's a shame some women are insecure about their age I don't lie about my age (29), but people never believe me until I show them my ID they think I am like 22 or something. As for weight, why would you even ASK a woman her weight? I have never asked a BF his weight...I mean I can look at him and see how big he is?
KathyM Posted May 3, 2012 Posted May 3, 2012 In a dating context, obviously you need to know the true age of a person to determine if he/she is within the range that you're looking for. Anything less than truthfulness should be a dealbreaker, IMO, since that shows #1: the person has ego issues; and #2 the person is willing to lie and deceive you in order to get what they want. I know my sister used to complain a lot about men on dating websites who claimed to be younger initially, and then when they fessed up on the date, she felt duped and lied to, and that her time had been wasted. I don't think informing your potential date of your actual weight is necessary. If you've accurately reported your body type and provided realistic, recent pictures, that should be enough. For questions about age that are not in a dating scenario, it is considered rude to ask a woman her age, since that is a personal question, and you have no reason to know if you are not planning to date them. I don't think a woman should ever be asked what her weight is.
FitChick Posted May 3, 2012 Posted May 3, 2012 I don't understand why the OP is concerned with a woman's age or weight if she is standing right there in front of him. He is either attracted or not. Age is only important if you want a breeder. Let's also not forget that men die on average about ten years before women do. Let's not forget that men lie about their age, height and weight, too. Use your own two eyes to decide if you like someone or not. I wonder how he'd react if she had asked, "How much money do you make? Show me your tax return." 1
FitChick Posted May 3, 2012 Posted May 3, 2012 This woman is nearly 50. This woman is younger and has a five-year old. If you are ageist, you will pick the woman who is obviously fertile (seems to be important to many men on LS). I wonder how many men would storm out of a first date if the first woman admitted she'd lied.
KathyM Posted May 3, 2012 Posted May 3, 2012 This woman is nearly 50. This woman is younger and has a five-year old. If you are ageist, you will pick the woman who is obviously fertile (seems to be important to many men on LS). I wonder how many men would storm out of a first date if the first woman admitted she'd lied. I think both women look bad. Lisa looks fake--I never did like her appearance. Fake lips, face lift, fake boobs. Very unnatural, fake looking. Has that jokerish look that comes from face lifts and lip injections. And the woman with the tanning addiction Does she actually think she looks better that way? As far as the topic of the thread, people have a right to know important details about people who are advertising themselves for dates on dating websites, since it is supposed to provide a screening process. And people do screen based on age, for practical reasons. Younger men often want women to still have enough childbearing years left if they hope to marry and parent some day, so they would definately want to know that information. People tend to also be more compatible with and have more in common with people in their own age range, so they want to know that their potential date is in a range that they feel most compatible/in common with.
persevere Posted May 3, 2012 Posted May 3, 2012 The age issue is touchy. I went out with a woman (non OLD). She asked me to guess her age. Ugghh.. oh boy. I said no. She insisted. She honestly looked mid 30's, so I said 31! She was angry and told me she was 25, then wouldn't let it go. I just told her she asked and I gave an honest answer. Ooops. 1
FitChick Posted May 3, 2012 Posted May 3, 2012 The age issue is touchy. I went out with a woman (non OLD). She asked me to guess her age. Ugghh.. oh boy. I said no. She insisted. She honestly looked mid 30's, so I said 31! She was angry and told me she was 25, then wouldn't let it go. I just told her she asked and I gave an honest answer. Ooops. Great example of how people can look older or younger than their age so the number is irrelevant unless you want kids. 1
xxoo Posted May 3, 2012 Posted May 3, 2012 persevere, that's funny. She shouldn't have asked! I often think women in their mid 20s look 30+, esp if they are wearing lots of make up. Make up makes everyone from 20-50 look 35 to me.
persevere Posted May 3, 2012 Posted May 3, 2012 Great example of how people can look older or younger than their age so the number is irrelevant unless you want kids. Yeah. Really age shouldn't matter. It's maturity I look for. Someone much younger may her stuff together and it could work. They can also be flighty. But then again, so can someone older.
Eve Posted May 3, 2012 Posted May 3, 2012 This woman is nearly 50. This woman is younger and has a five-year old. If you are ageist, you will pick the woman who is obviously fertile (seems to be important to many men on LS). I wonder how many men would storm out of a first date if the first woman admitted she'd lied. The second link is pretty funny, in a dark sort of way. Man, she looks awful.. I don't like the sound of internet dating.. don't think I could be bothered with it. No way would I tell how old I am. I don't have a problem with my age or weight, it is just that only people who care should know methinks. That's probably just me and my old fashioned ways though.. Take care, Eve x
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