Moving to get over ex?

[Leegh]

I am considering moving from my apartment, as it reminds me of my ex boyfriend. It's been several years since we broke up, but when we were going together he lived here with me. I would have hoped that I would have been totally over him by now, but I'm not. Although I don't analyze the relationship anymore, I still think of him daily, even though he is living in another state now and I don't see him anymore (his choice). Has anyone had the experience where an apartment or home reminds them of their ex, if the ex has moved out? If moving would only help a little bit, it's probably not worth the effort, but if it would help a moderate amount to a lot, I will move, to another apartment in my city. Although he and I weren't married, I've heard that sometimes when couples divorce they sell their home. Does this help with the healing process? How much do visual reminders impair the healing process? Thanks in advance for any advice.

[Philosoraptor]

If you feel that it would help then go for it. There is no guide to what one should to do heal and there is nothing wrong with moving to get away from memories. By staying and knowing that it brings you pain is like encouraging your own suffering. You wouldn't hold your hand in a fire now would you? You'd back away once you felt the burn.

[immitable]

I am considering moving from my apartment, as it reminds me of my ex boyfriend. It's been several years since we broke up, but when we were going together he lived here with me. I would have hoped that I would have been totally over him by now, but I'm not. Although I don't analyze the relationship anymore, I still think of him daily, even though he is living in another state now and I don't see him anymore (his choice). Has anyone had the experience where an apartment or home reminds them of their ex, if the ex has moved out? If moving would only help a little bit, it's probably not worth the effort, but if it would help a moderate amount to a lot, I will move, to another apartment in my city. Although he and I weren't married, I've heard that sometimes when couples divorce they sell their home. Does this help with the healing process? How much do visual reminders impair the healing process? Thanks in advance for any advice.

 

Does it remind you of him a lot?

I personally wouldn't stay in the apartment.

 

But, maybe you can help me, my ex gf broke up with me about 1 yr ago is still living in the same apartment, there are all the things we bought together.

She never initiated contact, I was NC just recently met her (I initiated) she got back immediately. We had a superficial short meeting. When I asked her if she moved she said she can't go through the hassle, she only goes to the apartment to sleep, she said.

Just recently sent her some work related message and she answered immediately and wished me nice day, I have never gotten a faster reply to a msg. What could this mean?

[Leegh]

Thanks for the great answers. In reply to immitable, yes, the apartment does remind me of him, but it is a big undertaking to move, and I am still undecided. In your case, it is a good sign that your ex replied immediately to you both times. If you are still interested in her, I would make it clear to her that you are interested in her, (she may think you like her just as a friend). It may be painful for her to still live in the apartment, but if she's unsure of your feelings, she may be "playing it cool".

[aliii]

Yes I´ve been in in a similar situation, but I have to moved to another country, at first it was only for a year but ended up staying there for four years and it did help a looooot!

[fucpcg]

YES, moving changes everything, I know. My first love I was together with for 4 years. When we split she packed up and moved about 1,000 miles away, and I was stuck with all the memories, all the places we went to together, from grocery store, to clubs, to hiking, to everything and anything. 3 years later, I still struggled, and I decided to get out myself, and I moved 3,000 miles away. Finally, it was the start of my new life. Nothing was a shared memory, I had but no choice to make new ones. Move out of the apartment, move out of the city, move out of the state, take it as far as you feel you can handle.

[LasVegasGuy]

I agree, I myself posted about doing something un-heard of, changing my cellphone carrier, because it reminded me too much of my ex, actually it was and is the only thing that reminds me of her, now I don't want her back, just wanna be friends, but still.

 

So if moving does you good, go for it.

[xxSRMxx]

Im moving away for the summer, nothing permanent but i definately think a change of scene for a few months will do me good.

 

Do it, if you feel itll help you than move.

Somebody had the cheek to tell me i was just ''running away'' today, but i dont think its that, whatever makes the healing process quicker, do it.

[Philosoraptor]

Thanks for the great answers. In reply to immitable, yes, the apartment does remind me of him, but it is a big undertaking to move, and I am still undecided. In your case, it is a good sign that your ex replied immediately to you both times. If you are still interested in her, I would make it clear to her that you are interested in her, (she may think you like her just as a friend). It may be painful for her to still live in the apartment, but if she's unsure of your feelings, she may be "playing it cool".

You need to do what you need to do in order to protect yourself and limit your pain.

 

I personally deleted my email address so I wouldn't be bothered anymore. I also redid my entire wardrobe and did a very nice reorginization of my house, including some painting. In the end our loyalty is only to ourselves and we must protect ourselves in order to have the most efficient healing time.