unsure what the next step is with my ex contacting me

[rd1978]

its been 8 weeks since we have been split she ended it,,,,, there kinda is another guy in the pic.... he was around when we werent getting along but anyway i know they are hanging out.... so i told her if we cant work it out dont call me... so she tried contacting me and what not i didnt awnser or respond,, then 1 day i did awnser my phone like 4 weeks into it,,, and she was super excited that i awnsered.. and we talked for a couple of minutes then i told her i had to go ... and i would talk to her sometime i guess... so another 3 weeks go by,, same thing, she writes me on instant messanger a coupld of time's..... I didnt respond ,,,

 

so somewhere around week 7 she wrote me on a sunday night and i did respond ,, and she is like why are you writing me back ,, so i said why not ,, we talked it was a good conversation then it got into the relaitonship,, and i told her id rather not talk about it,, but it ended up being ok,, i apoligized and explained why we acted the way's we did ,, there was no anger involved,, like the first 3 weeks she had some sort of anger towards me,,, it was actually the best conversation we had in 4 years....... then after like an hour we got off ,,, then she called me 20 minutes later { sounded like she was crying } and we talked for a while was a really good conversation ,, which is something we havent had in a long long time,,, then we said goodnight after like 25 minutes,,, then she called mon-tues morning we talked for like 10 minutes,,,, then thursday night on the computer for an hour,, fri night for 15 minutes and i told her i had to go,, and sunday night for like 10 minutes,,,,, 5-7 days

 

ok let me remind you since we have split i have not 1 time called her or wrote her... she is the 1 contacting me... our conversations are really good when we talk... there is not talk of workign thing out etc. etc. and i dont want it to be that way.. i want to just talk and try to get comfortable again... This other kid,, yeah i know she does hang out with him,, but the thing is it seems like i pushed her to do this alot more once i refused to talk to her in the begining,, which is understandable but it didnt seem like she was hanging with him for the right reasons.... And she al so has NO clue what im up to if im dating someone seeing someone .. etc. etc. so im sure that has a factor in some things.....all she knows is that i am responding to her when she contacts me,,,,

 

SO the big question... why in the hell is she getting ahold of me??? I didnt hear from her tongiht so either she's out or she holding out to see if i write her or call her { which isnt going to happen } ,,, Does she just want to see if ill talk to her?does she fig if she keeps in contact,, then i might want to work thing out if this guy doesnt pan out? I know she misses me and loves me,, And honestly i couldnt ever see her walking away like she did she was all about me,, so i know this guy had alot to do with it,, I saw him hes unatractive tall skinny and lanky,, im thinking maybe he said and did all the right things to make her feel better,,, But if she is hanging w/ him why is she calling me??? its almost like she is doing the same thing to me as she did to him ,, now she is talking to me behind his back,, then again for all i know they arent anythign and just hang out wvwey once in a while,,,, But i also know she wouldnt know what pain is untill she saw me with someone else ,, i think she hasnt seen the reality of this all

[dawns19]

Originally posted by rd1978

its been 8 weeks since we have been split she ended it,,,,, there kinda is another guy in the pic.... he was around when we werent getting along but anyway i know they are hanging out.... so i told her if we cant work it out dont call me... so she tried contacting me and what not i didnt awnser or respond,, then 1 day i did awnser my phone like 4 weeks into it,,, and she was super excited that i awnsered.. and we talked for a couple of minutes then i told her i had to go ... and i would talk to her sometime i guess... so another 3 weeks go by,, same thing, she writes me on instant messanger a coupld of time's..... I didnt respond ,,,

 

so somewhere around week 7 she wrote me on a sunday night and i did respond ,, and she is like why are you writing me back ,, so i said why not ,, we talked it was a good conversation then it got into the relaitonship,, and i told her id rather not talk about it,, but it ended up being ok,, i apoligized and explained why we acted the way's we did ,, there was no anger involved,, like the first 3 weeks she had some sort of anger towards me,,, it was actually the best conversation we had in 4 years....... then after like an hour we got off ,,, then she called me 20 minutes later { sounded like she was crying } and we talked for a while was a really good conversation ,, which is something we havent had in a long long time,,, then we said goodnight after like 25 minutes,,, then she called mon-tues morning we talked for like 10 minutes,,,, then thursday night on the computer for an hour,, fri night for 15 minutes and i told her i had to go,, and sunday night for like 10 minutes,,,,, 5-7 days

 

ok let me remind you since we have split i have not 1 time called her or wrote her... she is the 1 contacting me... our conversations are really good when we talk... there is not talk of workign thing out etc. etc. and i dont want it to be that way.. i want to just talk and try to get comfortable again... This other kid,, yeah i know she does hang out with him,, but the thing is it seems like i pushed her to do this alot more once i refused to talk to her in the begining,, which is understandable but it didnt seem like she was hanging with him for the right reasons.... And she al so has NO clue what im up to if im dating someone seeing someone .. etc. etc. so im sure that has a factor in some things.....all she knows is that i am responding to her when she contacts me,,,,

 

SO the big question... why in the hell is she getting ahold of me??? I didnt hear from her tongiht so either she's out or she holding out to see if i write her or call her { which isnt going to happen } ,,, Does she just want to see if ill talk to her?does she fig if she keeps in contact,, then i might want to work thing out if this guy doesnt pan out? I know she misses me and loves me,, And honestly i couldnt ever see her walking away like she did she was all about me,, so i know this guy had alot to do with it,, I saw him hes unatractive tall skinny and lanky,, im thinking maybe he said and did all the right things to make her feel better,,, But if she is hanging w/ him why is she calling me??? its almost like she is doing the same thing to me as she did to him ,, now she is talking to me behind his back,, then again for all i know they arent anythign and just hang out wvwey once in a while,,,, But i also know she wouldnt know what pain is untill she saw me with someone else ,, i think she hasnt seen the reality of this all

 

My guess is that, she wants you back, but doesn't know how to tell you. But, before she does tell you straight out that she wants you back, she wants to be able to talk to you, and make things right again.... I wish you the best of luck...

[rd1978]

i was kind of thinking somewhat along those lines ,, as the fact that she has NO clue as to how i feel towards her, she has no clue if ive been seeing someone else,,, all she knows is at this point in time i am now talking to her,, IN the beginging after we split ,, i asked her PLEASE do not call me do whatever it takes to leave me alone ,, then she said but i miss you in a couple of days if i cant talk to you,,, so i sais this is your decision if this is the way you truly feel its only fair that we dont talk at all for a quite some time.... IN the 8 weeks the longest it has gone inbetween her trying to contact me is .. 5 or 6 days....

 

Like i said when we started talking again last week,, she was SOO SOO excited on the phone to talk to me the conversation just flowed and flowed everytime we talked,,, I know time makes the bad feeling towards a person go away and the good one's shine,, and thats what im feeling now, i wonder if thats what she feels after almost 2 months... We were togethor 5 years,, 24- 25 yrs old,, I do slighty get the feeling this kid was something new to her and a way out at the moment,, I dont feel she will drop him to be by herself,, or unless we ended up working things out,, she needed him to break up with me in the first place,, And when she did ,, she called me an hour after , and 4 days straight ,, i dont know maybe she thinks there is no way i would give it another shot?????,,

 

she also made some stupid comment when we were talking,, i asked how her new job was ,, and she said thats right i started after " you left me",, then there was something else that was ,,,, that was about the time that YOU stopped talking to me,,, i made it clear tot his girl in the begingin that she WAS NOT GOING OT HAVE HER CAKE AND EAT IT TO with the b/friend of 5 years who had some much history in her life compared to this other dip****...

 

so what do you think i should do ,, or go about the situation,, like i said,,,,,,,,,,,,,, I havent called her or contacted her 1 time in the past 2 months,,, I know how this girl feel about me,, i kind think she is have saome kind of midlife i wannna go crazy and have fun crisis,, But its not her,, she can try but she wont be able to do it.... she alos made a statement before we brole up in an email,,, she said her worst fear is if she takes time to think about what she ants her biggest fear is me going off and finding someone else ,, and her being stuck with ,, no one,,, thats another reason i feel she ran to this guy.....ok i wrote enough and ideas wouold be helpfull thanks !