Chrisal23 Posted May 3, 2012 Posted May 3, 2012 I have all these thoughts I my head. Would it be wrong to text my ex and ask her a question about another guy while we were going out? I'm being a little desperate someone help me
Philosoraptor Posted May 3, 2012 Posted May 3, 2012 It will only cause you more pain and lead to more questions. No matter how many questions she answers it will only lead to thousands more. You are best off maintaining no contact and learning to come to peace with the fact that things are over. Learn to live in the present instead of the past. 1
immitable Posted May 3, 2012 Posted May 3, 2012 I have all these thoughts I my head. Would it be wrong to text my ex and ask her a question about another guy while we were going out? I'm being a little desperate someone help me What do you expect her to answer to you? "Yes I cheated on you while we were together, yes I am a slut"?? No straight answer is going to come out of this, better leave it alone.
Mr Scorpio Posted May 3, 2012 Posted May 3, 2012 It will only cause you more pain and lead to more questions. No matter how many questions she answers it will only lead to thousands more. You are best off maintaining no contact and learning to come to peace with the fact that things are over. Learn to live in the present instead of the past. Any advice on how to achieve that?
Philosoraptor Posted May 3, 2012 Posted May 3, 2012 Any advice on how to achieve that? Sure. You start learning to enjoy the moment and finding happiness within yourself. Instead of looking at what is gone learn to find happiness in what you have and what has been gained since the end of a relationship. When I was in my down stage I got upset at everything and felt quite hopeless. An example of a change happened just the other day. I avoided what would have been a sure accident due to someone else's poor driving. While months back I would have been fuming instead my focus has changed. I simply gave myself a pat on the back and praised myself on how good my reflexes are. It all comes down to changing focus. Instead of focusing on what you see now as a void, learn to love everything else around it. It's like having a beautiful garden and paying more attention to the small bare spot than the luscious colors. Instead of feeling like you lost someone or something you need to be proud of how much experience you have gained and how this experience will help you in the future. If you continue to focus on what was lost you never embrace what you have. Happiness is everywhere and it just comes down to being able to focus on the good.
LasVegasGuy Posted May 3, 2012 Posted May 3, 2012 Won't do you any good, I use to do the same thing, call her and ask about her new bf, because I felt that if ONLY she would admit to being with her before we broke up that it would ease the pain and maybe give me closure. Of-course she never did that, she would only pretend like she was innocent. In the end, it only leaves MORE un-answered questions.
Chacha8 Posted May 4, 2012 Posted May 4, 2012 Sure. You start learning to enjoy the moment and finding happiness within yourself. Instead of looking at what is gone learn to find happiness in what you have and what has been gained since the end of a relationship. When I was in my down stage I got upset at everything and felt quite hopeless. An example of a change happened just the other day. I avoided what would have been a sure accident due to someone else's poor driving. While months back I would have been fuming instead my focus has changed. I simply gave myself a pat on the back and praised myself on how good my reflexes are. It all comes down to changing focus. Instead of focusing on what you see now as a void, learn to love everything else around it. It's like having a beautiful garden and paying more attention to the small bare spot than the luscious colors. Instead of feeling like you lost someone or something you need to be proud of how much experience you have gained and how this experience will help you in the future. If you continue to focus on what was lost you never embrace what you have. Happiness is everywhere and it just comes down to being able to focus on the good. Awesome advice
Philosoraptor Posted May 4, 2012 Posted May 4, 2012 Awesome advice I try to speak from my experience. My heart was as crushed as everyone else here at one point. It's amazing how changing focus just a bit can turn your world around.
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