phineas Posted May 4, 2012 Posted May 4, 2012 By your comment I thought she dated a man she met LIVING on the streets (i.e. homeless), lol. What's so hard to believe about some MAN approaching a woman first time ever seeing her and being assertive? If it's not OLD or a mutual friend introducing you to her/him, that's how a lot of relationships are formed. It's no different than a guy "asserting himself" at the grocery store, museum, bar, etc. It's all done upon first sight, real life, balls to the walls. These guys are displaying confidence, and although they might get rejected, do it enough times, eventually you'll get a bite. Frustrated has a thread about how "hot" she is, but no men approach her. She refuses to initiate with a man also & expects them to do all the work. So perhaps he was commenting on that? Or it did look like she was talking about a homeless man the way she said it. LOL!
Nikki Sahagin Posted May 4, 2012 Posted May 4, 2012 I honestly think the best approach to dating, and the one I am now relying on, is instincts. Instincts can tell you who you like, who you don't, want you want, who you can/can't trust and what the natural and organic next move is. Sometimes instincts can be wrong, but I strongly disagree with rules and guidebooks on how to have a relationship. Your instincts will usually guide you right.
Ross MwcFan Posted May 4, 2012 Posted May 4, 2012 I agree with you 100%. That's why I am so against online dating. Sure, it works for some people, but I refuse to meet someone who can't introduce themselves or interact with me face to face. I would also be very embarrassed. "So how did you guys meet?" "Oh on lavalife.com". The best relationship I have had has been with a man that I men on the street,, literally. He was driving by and saw my girlfriend and I just hanging out, so he parked his car in the same plaza, came outside and began speaking to us. No one does this anymore and it breaks my heart. THIS is how you're supposed to meet people. You sound very insecure.
Nikki Sahagin Posted May 4, 2012 Posted May 4, 2012 I agree with you 100%. That's why I am so against online dating. Sure, it works for some people, but I refuse to meet someone who can't introduce themselves or interact with me face to face. I would also be very embarrassed. "So how did you guys meet?" "Oh on lavalife.com". The best relationship I have had has been with a man that I men on the street,, literally. He was driving by and saw my girlfriend and I just hanging out, so he parked his car in the same plaza, came outside and began speaking to us. No one does this anymore and it breaks my heart. THIS is how you're supposed to meet people. I love this! That's totally how people should be meeting.
Ross MwcFan Posted May 4, 2012 Posted May 4, 2012 By your comment I thought she dated a man she met LIVING on the streets (i.e. homeless), lol. What's so hard to believe about some MAN approaching a woman first time ever seeing her and being assertive? If it's not OLD or a mutual friend introducing you to her/him, that's how a lot of relationships are formed. It's no different than a guy "asserting himself" at the grocery store, museum, bar, etc. It's all done upon first sight, real life, balls to the walls. These guys are displaying confidence, and although they might get rejected, do it enough times, eventually you'll get a bite. He was responding to the fact that she was saying that no one does this anymore.
irc333 Posted May 4, 2012 Posted May 4, 2012 Good points....it's actually made women (and men) overly selective in who emails them. In fact, I think it's keeping them from coming out to meet people in the real world, so that way if....let's say at a church function...a man approaches them at the refreshment table....they're stuck talking to him if she's not attracted, so she has this forced smile and having to come up with short phrases while the guy talks to her. Back in the 90's , when Yahoo personals was free....there was a woman on there, very attractive and conservative looking. She was looking for a Christian man....and I knew of this LARGE church with a singles group....so as part of my intro to my first email to her, I asked something like, "So, the such and such church as a singles ministry, ever consider it?" And she sad she had been to that particular group, for a short time, but apparently either. 1. No men in that group were attractive enough TO her. 2. They men that approached her there were a bit socially awkward. Sheesh, gives these guys a break, hon. She admitted that doing this whole thing online was a whole lot better than having to be out at a venue, with limited men, because she was stuck with a handful of men she had NO interest in, which even drove her away from the location. Even with the Meetup site, which is a great site, at least some people admit to getting out of the house meeting people and interacting THAT way, but I'm noticing people from THAT site on dating sites, and usually they don't attend events, unless the "RSVP Menu" has something appealing to look at, and if there are not hot men/women there, they just stay home instead. Male friend of mine heard a woman in one of the Meetups say that she doesn't go to them, unless there's a certain "cute guy" in attendance. But as the OP was saying, back in the day, people were limited by geography. I was wondering, if a plane crashed, and I was stuck on deserted island with a perfect 10 woman....she'd have no choices. LOL I think the biggest factor is that the internet has widened everyones net. Through online dating reasonably attractive people can meet an almost limitless supply of reasonably attractive people. That is also a problem. In the time before online dating a person had to choose who was the best mate among those around them. Now a person can try to find someone "perfect". With limitless options there is never a reason to give a relationship a chance, or to try and make a relationship work if it isn't "perfect".
EternalInk Posted May 4, 2012 Posted May 4, 2012 I agree with you 100%. That's why I am so against online dating. Sure, it works for some people, but I refuse to meet someone who can't introduce themselves or interact with me face to face. I would also be very embarrassed. "So how did you guys meet?" "Oh on lavalife.com". The best relationship I have had has been with a man that I men on the street,, literally. He was driving by and saw my girlfriend and I just hanging out, so he parked his car in the same plaza, came outside and began speaking to us. No one does this anymore and it breaks my heart. THIS is how you're supposed to meet people. The guys who do this are in relationships already. Haha...just kidding I think more guys would do this if they were a bit more confident about themselves. The more they stop over-thinking things when approaching women, the more success they'll have. 1
El Brujo Posted May 4, 2012 Posted May 4, 2012 I think this thread should be about "what dating was like before the Toxoplasmosis bug started infesting the brains of women who kept cats and started making them do, think, and say all kinds of crazy nonsense". But in a way, it's good the old pre-internet dating is gone... now I know it's not me, everyone else is crazy.
somedude81 Posted May 4, 2012 Posted May 4, 2012 I love this! That's totally how people should be meeting. And another?! How did you two meet? "Oh I was walking on the sidewalk and he drove by. Then he parked his car, walked up to me and said, "You have a pretty mouth. Would you like some sausage?" We've been in love ever since :love:" Why is that better than meeting somebody in class, or an office party, or a fundraising event? Why would anybody even accept a date from some random guy who just walked over to you because he thought you were hot?
Nikki Sahagin Posted May 4, 2012 Posted May 4, 2012 And another?! How did you two meet? "Oh I was walking on the sidewalk and he drove by. Then he parked his car, walked up to me and said, "You have a pretty mouth. Would you like some sausage?" We've been in love ever since :love:" Why is that better than meeting somebody in class, or an office party, or a fundraising event? Why would anybody even accept a date from some random guy who just walked over to you because he thought you were hot? Because it's romantic and spontaneous. If you had a spark/attraction to the person, who WOULDN'T you like that? It's not a better way of meeting, but it shows courage and fearlessness.
somedude81 Posted May 4, 2012 Posted May 4, 2012 Because it's romantic and spontaneous. If you had a spark/attraction to the person, who WOULDN'T you like that? It's not a better way of meeting, but it shows courage and fearlessness. Romantic, spark, attraction? The guy walks over to you because he wants to fu*k. He has no other reason to approach a total stranger.
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