wwwjd Posted May 3, 2012 Posted May 3, 2012 Does this about cover it? Is it love or infatuation? Infatuation is fleeting desire--one set of glands calling to another. It is marked by a feeling of insecurity. You are excited and eager but not genuinely happy. There are nagging doubts, unanswered questions, little bits and pieces about the relationship that you would just as soon not examine too closely. Love is friendship that has caught fire. It takes root and grows, one day at a time. Love is quiet understanding and mature acceptance of imperfection. It is real. It gives you strength and grows beyond you--to bolster your beloved. You are warmed by his presence, even when he is away. Miles do not separate you. You have so many wonderful films in your head that you keep replaying. But near or far, you know he is yours, and you can wait. Infatuation says, "We must get married right away. I can't risk losing him." Love says, "Be patient. Plan your future with confidence." Infatuation has an element of sexual excitement. Whenever you are together, you hope it will end in intimacy. Love is not based on sex. It is the maturation of friendship that makes sex so much sweeter. you must be friends before you can be lovers. Infatuation lacks confidence. When he's away, you wonder if he's being unfaithful. sometimes, you check. Love means trust. You are calm, secure and unthreatened. He feels your trust, and it makes him even more trustworthy. Infatuation might lead you to do things you will regret, but love never steers you in the wrong direction. Love is elevating. It lifts you up. It makes you look up. It makes you better than you were before. [stolen from I don't remember where] 1
Feelin Frisky Posted May 3, 2012 Posted May 3, 2012 Infatuation is a state of extreme preoccupation with the image and belief of another person. Love is really what happens when you find that you still want someone after you have them and it stops becoming a one-sided obsession with the"idea" of this person. A lot of people use the word love because infatuation is a rather unflattering thing to admit. But now adays when people--like me-have lots of interplay with someone far way through technology she can show me enough about who she is for me to say, I love what she means to me and I believe in her especially because the desire is not mostly physical like most infatuations are IRL. That's still not quite as good as really being in an everyday relationship in each other's real life and finding after some tears that I still want what I have as much or more than ever. That's your true love. 1
ohmygoshistalk Posted May 3, 2012 Posted May 3, 2012 Very good post thank you. Whenever I am in a situation where I need to question my feelings I look at it this way.. it is love if I value the other person's happiness over mine, that said, even if he is not with me. But is it true that it isnt love unless its returned? I always read that somewhere.
fucpcg Posted May 3, 2012 Posted May 3, 2012 One of the simplest ways I've heard described is as follows: love is the persistnce of admiration. I agee whole heartedly. 1
xxoo Posted May 3, 2012 Posted May 3, 2012 One of the simplest ways I've heard described is as follows: love is the persistnce of admiration. I agee whole heartedly. I like that I agree with the distinctions between infatuation and love, although not all the points. I never had the urge to marry during infatuation, for one. Infatuation is early days. It serves the purpose of keeping you together long enough to see if love will develop. 1
Author wwwjd Posted May 3, 2012 Author Posted May 3, 2012 But is it true that it isnt love unless its returned? I always read that somewhere. I thought it was: "It's not love until you give it away" or similar? I have love to give, I can give it away in unlimited amounts and I don't have to get love back for my giving to exist. The GIVING - making others feel good - makes ME feel good. Getting love is nice too. And when both sides are so busy giving, you end up getting too. Win - win! But the whole emptying and filling of the cup is different than this thread discusses.
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