mixwell Posted May 3, 2012 Posted May 3, 2012 Trying to make a long story short.. I live in Los Angeles and met a chick through a friend.. Hung out with her 3 times in a week, she then moves about 6 hours away after with her aunt and uncle to Sacramento.. I went to New York on vacation for a week and when I get back she flys down and stays with me for a week.. Everything is great, we get along well and we like each other.. She goes back to her house etc but we still talk almost daily (she was here like the last week of march) so we've been talking since like mid February and even on the phone I usually talk to her for 1 hour + on the phone.. The twist is.... She's on a visitor pass from China, has no car etc but she's working where she's living and she wants to go to school etc.. I want to tell her to move back to Los Angeles and live with me to get her things together and I feel like if she never moved that I would have probably asked her to be my girl by now. I know logically I've been told it's not wise because I would be somewhat responsible for her but I really get this chick and know that we feel the same about each other but there's just that hitch that she wouldn't really have anything initially and I'm just concerned that I would have to take care of her in the meantime which I don't care because I always try to look out for my chicks but I just don't want to get in over my head but I think with her I "feel like it would be okay" <-- maybe emotional logic over logical... Any input is appreciated.. I'm really confused..
dbave Posted May 3, 2012 Posted May 3, 2012 Alright so to me your saying your total physical contact with her has been 3 days of one week and 7 days of another week which is a total of 10 days. Thats not enough to really ask her to be your girl even though you've been having 1 hour phone call conversations. Visual contact is the best way to get to know a person and see if they been fronting or taking down their 'Best Behavior' act. You need to see how she is when she gets rid of her act otherwise its not a smart move to uproot her from what SHE wants to do. Its a bit inconsiderate to ask her to move 6 hours and live with you rather than stay at her work place and get her education together. Its great that you two like each other but under the circumstances its best to just be long distance good friends and keep an eye open for other girls.
Author mixwell Posted May 3, 2012 Author Posted May 3, 2012 Alright so to me your saying your total physical contact with her has been 3 days of one week and 7 days of another week which is a total of 10 days. Thats not enough to really ask her to be your girl even though you've been having 1 hour phone call conversations. Visual contact is the best way to get to know a person and see if they been fronting or taking down their 'Best Behavior' act. You need to see how she is when she gets rid of her act otherwise its not a smart move to uproot her from what SHE wants to do. Its a bit inconsiderate to ask her to move 6 hours and live with you rather than stay at her work place and get her education together. Its great that you two like each other but under the circumstances its best to just be long distance good friends and keep an eye open for other girls. Well I'm not trying to uproot her but she never wanted to move up North to begin with but had no choice based on her circumstances.. She's told me she's considering persuing school in Los Angeles and how she wants to live in Los Angeles etc. Yah from my math it's been 10 days total that we've been together in person which is shLt and it would have been more had she not moved but it is what it is. I'm not trying to get her back here to be with me only but she really wants to be back in Los Angeles is the thing. I know with the whole LDR thing it's stupid but I'm thinking past that in terms of if she actually wanted to come back to LA and persue something and possibly persuing a relationship. I would never try to uproot someone for my own benefit but she really wants to come back to LA and asks if she came down to visit if she could stay with me etc and I've said yea but IF she did come back for good I'm weighing out if it would be wise to persue a relationship based on the physical encounters we've had+ the time on the phone.
FitChick Posted May 3, 2012 Posted May 3, 2012 You need to find out what being here on a tourist visa entails. How much of a time limit does she have? If she overstays her visa and you two fall in love and want to get married, she will probably have to go back to China for a specific time period. Sometimes there are limits on how many times someone can enter and leave the country in one year as well. The US doesn't make things easy for anyone who wants to be here legally and follow the rules. Illegally is a whole other story! You might want to ask mods to move this thread to the Long Distance Forum where people have experience in LDRs and are more sympathetic. 1
veggirl Posted May 3, 2012 Posted May 3, 2012 I mean, if she moves to your area then yes why not date her? See where it goes. Don't let her move in or anything (is that what you are getting at?) though. Why would you be wondering if you should try to date a girl you really like? I wouldn't bother entering an official LDR with the little face to face time you've spent together, but I guess 6 hrs isn't that far away--can't you drive there or her drive to you on weekends or something? Maybe every 2 wks?
FitChick Posted May 3, 2012 Posted May 3, 2012 I guess 6 hrs isn't that far away--can't you drive there or her drive to you on weekends or something? Maybe every 2 wks? Why not meet halfway in San Luis Obispo?
Author mixwell Posted May 5, 2012 Author Posted May 5, 2012 Why not meet halfway in San Luis Obispo? That would be a great middle point only IF she freakin drove. She doesn't drive man but still I don't think I would trip out on making that drive..
Author mixwell Posted May 5, 2012 Author Posted May 5, 2012 I mean, if she moves to your area then yes why not date her? See where it goes. Don't let her move in or anything (is that what you are getting at?) though. Why would you be wondering if you should try to date a girl you really like? I wouldn't bother entering an official LDR with the little face to face time you've spent together, but I guess 6 hrs isn't that far away--can't you drive there or her drive to you on weekends or something? Maybe every 2 wks? If she moves to my area then it's all good but she really has no one or nowhere to stay in LA which is part of the problem. (I've already been through a 1/2 country away with a chick In a LDR for 7 years.) Yah I totally get your concept on a LDR.. Fk that scenario dude.
Author mixwell Posted May 5, 2012 Author Posted May 5, 2012 I just feel stupid at time because I am "seeing" <--- if you can call it that.. a chick who is korean and born in China. I have only seem her about 10 times total but after the first few times I've spit some real **** with her and vice versa. I find that I like this woman even more based on the fact that we're both from different backgrounds and upbringing.
veggirl Posted May 5, 2012 Posted May 5, 2012 Okay so she doesn't drive and has no plans to move to your area or anything. That's rough. Keep you options open and explore other girls. Does she date other guys?
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