xxSRMxx Posted May 3, 2012 Posted May 3, 2012 After 8 days of NC my ex got in touch today, it was for a password to something to do with his tv that only i knew. Ive been alot better than what i was in the first two weeks where i was hospitalised, wouldnt leave my room and didnt eat.... Anyway, we had a convo on the phone, he told me to never believe that the break up has been easy for him, he said he has to stop himself alot from mentioning my name n that he saw me as the person he wanted to marry also, that hes majorly disappointed it didnt work out too. Alot of the break up i have felt angry because hes kept such composure and i've basically bawled and done the psycho ex thing... it was nice (in a way) to hear the break up has affected him too...but kind of made me feel pretty sad about the fact it didnt work out. Anyway, I told him about me working on myself, our relationship, i got choked a couple of times on the phone but it was nice to not have an argument, and for once he sat and listened to me.....usually he had been interupting me and shouting but none of that was tonight. Anyway, I leave the country in 5 weeks for the summer, he agreed itd be good for me to do. He mentioned that we would meet up before i go for lunch as friends, I know some of you will say oh no your doing the wrong thing...But part of me wants to see him just to show him that im doing fine instead of the psycho ex i behaved like a couple of weeks ago, oh and the fact ive lost weight ha! Would you meet him? I understand it could set me back a little bit but i dont wanna shut him out of my life completely, nobody cheated on anyone, nobody was mentally/physically abusive, it just wasnt the right time. any advice would be appreciated! I am going back to NC now btw!
Gulf-Delta Posted May 3, 2012 Posted May 3, 2012 There's no reason not to go, despite the naysayers on here. If it's just lunch with no expectations of sex or anything, just do it.
Mr Scorpio Posted May 3, 2012 Posted May 3, 2012 The only way you should be communicating with this person is via smoke signals. You partially want to see him so that he can see that you're doing fine? In other words you still care what he thinks? Although it may be hypocritical for me to say so, stop it! Who cares about some password to a television? This is your mental/emotional health we are talking about! Stop it! 4
silvermane187 Posted May 3, 2012 Posted May 3, 2012 Lunch as friends? You were in the ****ing hospital over this guy TWO WEEKS AGO. NO you can NOT meet as friends yet. Maybe when you get back the feelings will have died down enough. If you have lunch with an ex so soon that you still have feelings for you're gonna have a bad time. 2
LostGirl11 Posted May 3, 2012 Posted May 3, 2012 It will be pointless and it will hurt. It will be like breaking up all over again. Seriously, just leave things as they are, you spoke, it wasn't messy, leave it at that. 2
windmask Posted May 3, 2012 Posted May 3, 2012 hi well i see no harm in just getting a bit or not. people who say oh dont go well they are immature. no point in going around and making enemies you should be your awesome loving self. theres a simple rule treat others like you would want to be treated lol. so no worries i say go for it. you actually sound like someone with a heart i remember last year when my ex broke up it was terrible so this year i ran into her well she chased me down to tell me that oh how her life was so awesome and how her decision to break up with me was the best thing for her. i was like oh well am glad things are good. she said this 3 times and i kinda got upset. i said it was insulting for her to keep saying this. i said am happy for you that ur happy now but am sorry its best we talk again. so yea reading your story i would say you seem like someone with a big heart and sound like a wonderful person. but just remember though that you let enough time pass before meeting him. like go if your cool with the whole thing now and enough time has actually passed. wouldnt want you to feel bad after the meeting or wut not.
BewitchedandBothered Posted May 3, 2012 Posted May 3, 2012 After 8 days of NC my ex got in touch today, it was for a password to something to do with his tv that only i knew. Ive been alot better than what i was in the first two weeks where i was hospitalised, wouldnt leave my room and didnt eat.... Anyway, we had a convo on the phone, he told me to never believe that the break up has been easy for him, he said he has to stop himself alot from mentioning my name n that he saw me as the person he wanted to marry also, that hes majorly disappointed it didnt work out too. Alot of the break up i have felt angry because hes kept such composure and i've basically bawled and done the psycho ex thing... it was nice (in a way) to hear the break up has affected him too...but kind of made me feel pretty sad about the fact it didnt work out. Anyway, I told him about me working on myself, our relationship, i got choked a couple of times on the phone but it was nice to not have an argument, and for once he sat and listened to me.....usually he had been interupting me and shouting but none of that was tonight. Anyway, I leave the country in 5 weeks for the summer, he agreed itd be good for me to do. He mentioned that we would meet up before i go for lunch as friends, I know some of you will say oh no your doing the wrong thing...But part of me wants to see him just to show him that im doing fine instead of the psycho ex i behaved like a couple of weeks ago, oh and the fact ive lost weight ha! Would you meet him? I understand it could set me back a little bit but i dont wanna shut him out of my life completely, nobody cheated on anyone, nobody was mentally/physically abusive, it just wasnt the right time. any advice would be appreciated! I am going back to NC now btw! You've been through enough pain==the answer is a big, fat, resounding NO, I would not go. There is no point in it. NC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You will rip open the wound by doing that.
NeverDated Posted May 3, 2012 Posted May 3, 2012 Anyway, I leave the country in 5 weeks for the summer, he agreed itd be good for me to do. He mentioned that we would meet up before i go for lunch as friends, I know some of you will say oh no your doing the wrong thing...But part of me wants to see him just to show him that im doing fine instead of the psycho ex i behaved like a couple of weeks ago, oh and the fact ive lost weight ha! Would you meet him? I understand it could set me back a little bit but i dont wanna shut him out of my life completely, nobody cheated on anyone, nobody was mentally/physically abusive, it just wasnt the right time. any advice would be appreciated! I am going back to NC now btw! 1) You still care about what he thinks. 2) You still think there is a potential "right time" with him. Don't go. Even after 8 weeks of NC, you are still clearly unable to relegate him to the portion of your psyche where he is just a person. He is still the guy you want to prove something to and have unresolved feelings for. Meeting up and/or continuing contact with him will be emotional masochism. 1
LostGirl11 Posted May 3, 2012 Posted May 3, 2012 1) You still care about what he thinks. 2) You still think there is a potential "right time" with him. Don't go. Even after 8 weeks of NC, you are still clearly unable to relegate him to the portion of your psyche where he is just a person. He is still the guy you want to prove something to and have unresolved feelings for. Meeting up and/or continuing contact with him will be emotional masochism. NeverDated is right. To be honest I think it was pretty selfish of him to even call you to ask for the password!! He knows you've taken the break up badly but he obviously didn't think about that, the password was way more inportant than your mental health. Take care. 1
Author xxSRMxx Posted May 3, 2012 Author Posted May 3, 2012 hmm....to be fair ever since I have spoke to him ive felt like sh*t...and had a really bad day today, so i think im definately gonna think twice before i meet him! maybe when im back from the summer itll be a possibility, but for now. NOPE.
LostGirl11 Posted May 3, 2012 Posted May 3, 2012 hmm....to be fair ever since I have spoke to him ive felt like sh*t...and had a really bad day today, so i think im definately gonna think twice before i meet him! maybe when im back from the summer itll be a possibility, but for now. NOPE. And by the time you get back you might be over him and wont need to give it a second thought. Honestly, I think it was really selfish for him to call you just to ask for a password, he called not thinking about how it would make you feel, it made you feel like crap and hes happy because he got his password, hmmm, not good.
Author xxSRMxx Posted May 4, 2012 Author Posted May 4, 2012 You know, ive never felt so sad....thats what kills me the most. I just feel sad.
LostGirl11 Posted May 4, 2012 Posted May 4, 2012 You know, ive never felt so sad....thats what kills me the most. I just feel sad. I know how you feel. You just want to get back to the old you right? Have you been keeping busy?
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