HappyPanda Posted May 3, 2012 Posted May 3, 2012 Hi everyone! Im curious to get some advice from those of you who have brought your relationships to the level of cohabitation, as well as how that process went for you... My boyfriend and I are officially moving in together in August. By that time we will have been together for almost 2 1/2 years. We're both 27, and very much so getting into the age where seemingly EVERYONE is getting married, starting families, etc... Sometimes I feel stunted, because I dont feel I am anywhere close to wanting to do any of that... I cant wait to live with him because I love being around him, and I simply adore him... However, I do have some hesitations. Im afraid that this will change our relationship. As of right now, we typically see each other 3 nights a week, mostly due to work schedules, and the fact that we live on the other side of the city from each other... When we live together, Im afraid that I wont get a chance to miss him, and that that might change our relationship. It also makes me nervous that after this step, the next logical step is to get engaged.... Dont get me wrong, I truly love the man, and can see myself with him for the long haul. He'd be an amazing husband, and an amazing father... But I still cant help but feel panicky when I think about that. And the fact that I still get nervous about that notion, 2 years into dating him, makes me ever MORE nervous! Is this normal? Did any of you all out there feel this way when you were about to make the leap into living together? Do you have any advice/suggestions as to how I can ease the transition, or my worries? Thank you so much in advance!
Emilyevans Posted May 3, 2012 Posted May 3, 2012 I've been with my boyfriend for almost five years now and we recently moved in together. For the year prior to now, we were only able to see each other on the weekends and rarely a night a week. I was excited to move in with him because I knew I would have more time with him and I hated having our lives so separate. - As far as changing your relationship, yes, it will change, but it doesn't have to be for the worse. You'll still miss him even though you see him more frequently. There are times when I get home from work early, or he stays late, or vice versa and I can't wait for him to get home. The only issue I see for you: Do you really want to live with him? It seems like you're scared about the next logical step that moving in together will bring: marriage. You have to decide if you're really okay with that and also if thats on his radar as well.
Imajerk17 Posted May 3, 2012 Posted May 3, 2012 (edited) I've been with my boyfriend for almost five years now and we recently moved in together. For the year prior to now, we were only able to see each other on the weekends and rarely a night a week. I was excited to move in with him because I knew I would have more time with him and I hated having our lives so separate. - As far as changing your relationship, yes, it will change, but it doesn't have to be for the worse. You'll still miss him even though you see him more frequently. There are times when I get home from work early, or he stays late, or vice versa and I can't wait for him to get home. The only issue I see for you: Do you really want to live with him? It seems like you're scared about the next logical step that moving in together will bring: marriage. You have to decide if you're really okay with that and also if thats on his radar as well. When you're not out bar-hopping with your coworker and getting it on with him that is! Read emilyevan's thread... Edited May 3, 2012 by Imajerk17 2
amantis Posted May 3, 2012 Posted May 3, 2012 When you're not out bar-hopping with your coworker and getting it on with him that is! Read emilyevan's thread... Wow , how can someone like her come here and give advice after kissing a co-worker emilyevan's i dont have nothing against you but you are not in a position to give any advice . Op , everything changes when you start living together , its your choice if you like or not . Dont get too comfortable , keep working in the relationship , keep going to new places , do the same things that you do when you were not living together . If you love him you dont have to go to bars and kiss other guys like miss emilyevan's . I think that living together is a good way for you to see if you want to get married. now you dont feel like it , but theres a point when you feel if you want more or not .
Author HappyPanda Posted May 3, 2012 Author Posted May 3, 2012 (edited) Thanks for taking the time to read and respond, everyone! Emily: Although I take it, you've made a mistake in your own relationship, I still very much so appreciate the advice And to answer your question, I very much so WANT to live with him, but for some reason, Im still really nervous! I dont know if its just my own issue with commitment or the fact that, like I said, a lot of the people around me are getting married/starting families etc, and there's THAT additional pressure. Amantis: Although I have every intention of keeping my own independence, and my own social life OUTSIDE of my beau (as does he) and I feel like we will keep up our "courtship" type of relationship (going out on dates, trying new things, weekends away) I cant help but think that eventually a type of routine will settle in... ANd with that comes boredom, and thats what Im afraid of Has anyone else out there ever felt anxious about these things? I dont know if its just my age, but I feel the older I get, the more apprehension I seem to have about these "real life" decisions! Im even starting to get pressure from my father, who never lets a "teachable" moment pass (ie: letting me know JUST how much he's looking forward to grand children) Am I the only one who's afraid of growing up?! And FYI, I have NO desire to go kiss a co worker! Edited May 3, 2012 by HappyPanda
SmileFace Posted May 4, 2012 Posted May 4, 2012 (edited) Wow , how can someone like her come here and give advice after kissing a co-worker emilyevan's i dont have nothing against you but you are not in a position to give any advice . Op , everything changes when you start living together , its your choice if you like or not . Dont get too comfortable , keep working in the relationship , keep going to new places , do the same things that you do when you were not living together . If you love him you dont have to go to bars and kiss other guys like miss emilyevan's . I think that living together is a goiod way for you to see if you want to get married. now you dont feel like it , but theres a point when you feel if you want more or not . neither is about 97% of people who frequent here, yet we all do Someones perception from any angle may be helpful Edited May 4, 2012 by SmileFace
Author HappyPanda Posted May 4, 2012 Author Posted May 4, 2012 neither is about 97% of people who frequent here, yet we all do Someones perception from any angle may be helpful This is true, no one is perfect... In fact, those who have lived through, and suffered the repercussions of their screw ups, are the ones who SHOULD be giving advice, in my opinion! Life is trials and tribulations... Otherwise, wouldnt it all be really boring?! 1
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