PatheticDesperate80 Posted May 2, 2012 Posted May 2, 2012 Today, well not today exactly... I lost the love of MY life. Im about to say something and as you respond, realize that im so broken hearted and weak. One year ago i met someone in a very unusual way. To her in the beginning i was her prince charming. Until she realized I gave her herpes. I have OHSV-1 and as many of us have it, we have more than likely lived with "cold sores" since we were children. I was so non chalant about it. You see im a 31 year old male and shes a 21 year old female. Ive been lucky so to speak. To the best of my knowledge, ive never passed it along to anyone. Momma always told me not to kiss with those annoying sores popped up. So here it goes , so as i said we got together under unusual circumstances. I commited into financially supporting her at the rate of $20,000 a month. I wouldnt say every month happend this way, but as long as we were together... This support occured.. When i met her she was in a, as to the information inwas given, substandard relationship with another man that did not treat her with dignity and respect. She was to leave this person and we were to be. Things were fantastic in the beginning... And little by little the distance started to grow, and the support continued . For months i probably only seen her once or twice a week. But i understood that she was reuniting with her family etc. Then out of the blue cousin "daniel" shows up. Need i mention, i never met the man she was involved with. Daniel is now around all the time, going wherever she goes. Also a very important part of this, im not allowed at her house. She claims there are bad memories there and its uncomfortable for me to be there... Months go by and our relationship steadily stays with its ups and its downs , daniel is still there constantly... I become suspicious and several indicators leads to that hes probably the man before. Always spending weekends at cousin daniels moms house, we never spent holidays together.... But oh how she loved me and didnt want to lose me. Cried and cried when id want to leave, and as big as my heart was, and how I truely felt for her... I stayed. Its now month 5 and she has yet to tell me she had gotten herpes from me and hes still cousin daniel. A series of very unfortunate events happend. At one point I had grown so skeptical and she was barely around that I had a one night stand with another woman. But i denied it and said it never happend. Shortly after that my girl finally starts coming around and things are starting to improve, guilt gets rhe best of me and i decide to tell the truth. Shes showing me that she really does love me and i didnt want to live in guilt. After i tell her the distance grows again... I start getting sick of it again.. Back and forth we fought.., then it finally comes out. She has herpes, she knows she loves me bur i have now cheated and gave her herpes, but she stays cause shes never met a man like me before, still the monthly allowance continues, and daniel is still there. Some time back i had met a girl from brazil who lived around my friends. She was a nice and atrractive woman. Sometimes i paid her to clean my house etc. The brazilian girl came down on her luck and was headed home. She had no where to stay. So i decide to allow her to crash at my place for a few days until she returned home. She definetly had a huge crush on me and wanted many times for us to be together. But i wouldnt allow. I loved my girl i was with and had already made 2 fatal mistakes in my book. One nightnmy girl was coming over and i didnt tell her girl B was staying at my house... Long story short cat fight.. Cops came etc... I threw girl b out and made her stay elsewhere.., to my suprise my girl has a warrant and goes ro jail.... Then, i find the cellphone... And to my suprise but not much of a suprise more of a sinking and utterly heartbreaking event... Daniel is not daniel and is in fact, the ex... Brand new cell phone only 2 weeks old with fresh porn video of them at her house.... I bail her out have not said anything yet and she is sure i know now. So yes i tell her and its to be over... The next day she asks to talk and i agree, i wanted answers. She cries and reads me a letter stating how they are best friends now and have been through so much together that neither of them have anyone else to turn too...l but didnt i just mention how they always go to sacremento his familys place? The cried out speech was very convincing... So then again i stay, support continues and now ex boyfriend is there to stay and me... I accept it all because im head over heels for this woman and she knows it still have spent no holidays togethe and i even got atood up on my birthday so she could have a friend stay the night. Time goes on and things start to improve but every now and again she dissappears for a few days and comes back with the excuse how ingave her herpes and its still oh so devistating. We try and try to get things on track... I paln multiple over nighters at a nice hotel for us to be alone.... Oh btw, we didnt even buy each other christmas. Also, shoot i almost forgotm,,, she took the ex skydiving for his birthday... Few more fights and finally it errupts...she made plans with me this time to stay in a hotel and the very next day i get stood up again. Shes at home crying claiming how much it hurts that i gave her herpes. We have also made plans since the beginning of the year to go to hawaii together...2 weeks after the hotel incident , im still trying to resolve the issue because im still feeling guilt over herpes.. And yes... The money continues... But this is where it finally comes to rhe point of no return... Three weeks later she finally comes back around and saying we somdeserve each other and from that point on were never to fight again.. Shes gonna quit being distant. Guess where she had gone... To hawaii with the ex, not me... Lets not forget how much support money i give her... So not only do i not get to be at her house...he stays the night, he goes to jawaii with her...everything...and ahe swears and cries and acreams at the top of her lungs its me shes in love with not him... But is it never me for the things that count...its always him. So i tried for a few more weeks more less cause i couldnt force myself to let go... Then one night she leaves me.... So I accept..... A week goes buy and this is the most we have not spoken.... I write her a letter stating why i cant be there no more. I tried to believe what she says , but still hes always rheree... And i blatantly state, that if things dont change we will never be. She reads my letter and says she wants to talk... Ive been ok with letting go... And i knew if i seen her again... Those feelings would come rushing back...she insists upon talking and so do I bur i also clearly state , if things arent going to change... Please dont come... She still wants to come...by now im growing very excited.. Im thinking yes she understands how much him being around is hurting me and nowmwe finally get to be together, i finally get to really love the woman of my dreams, its now going to be just her and I... She comes walking in, just looking her best, my heart is skipping a beat.. And that fire ignites in me once again... We sit and bull**** for a few and then we get into the talk, she starts talking about the herpes etc and how and why all of this is why it is, mind you i just heard this very same speech 6 months ago and she told me then, things would change but not overnight, these things takes time.... And to my suprise, she restates all the sames rhings... The guy stays, these things take time, and it definetly doesnt change over night... Theres a pause................. I then ask about hawaii and how things were suppose to change before.. Were telling each othet how madly in love with each other we are.. I express how not being invited to her house and him being there is tearing us apart. She says i cant come over because im a nosey man and im always snooping, well hello!!!!!!! Youve liesnto me this whole time about who he was and ive been dumping 5k into your hands every week!!!! For the most part...she isnsists there just friends, i accuse her of me being just a sugar daddy and using me for money..l she says im crazy... So i say i cant deal with him no more and if he doesnt leave, i leave.... Im now single and alone....... They never broke up and ive been a fool blinded by the oppurtunity of love.. Love that.. Was a virtual environment in my book. A creation of my needs palyed out for the greed of money and the hatred of an STD... This other man allowed hismgirl to come to my house make love to me and whisper she loves me in my ear...l to get some money in their pockets.... He does nothing and brings no financial stability to the table, but yet shes obviously in love with him like im in love with her. You see now shes me , shes the one being used for financial support, hes the one crying and begging her to stay while hes off trifiling around and even smacks her around every now and rhen... Even made her have an abortion when he gotnher pregnant.... he was her pimp. And she was a prostitute, i wish youknew more as i feel,the skepticism and sarcasm about to be typed out. I never before her had sought out something like that.. But when i met her , for me... Yes it was love at true sight... You see we didnt just have sex.. The first few times yes... But soon after meeting we were going to dinner and riding my motorcycle snuggling on the couch and normal boyfriend girlfriend activities... Never once in the beginning didnthat kind of money get talked about ... So ladies and gentleman im a very confused soul that wants this woman more than anything.. Id take her back in a heart beat if all things things would just change, thats all she has to do is push him away and be with me... She states i shouldnt ask her to push him away cause hes just a friend and its me who she loves.... So please, someone on the outside explain this to me... If shes so in love with me and if money was all she wanted , why didnt she stay? Hid him better or ??? Bur im aure ahe will jaut go back to work... Input please, i just ask you keeo the brutal comments to yourself mm im just a boy who fell in love with a girl.
foolish optimist Posted May 2, 2012 Posted May 2, 2012 What exactly do you do that you can pull in enough cash to give this girl 20k a month, and yet you can't tell that she is playing you for a fool (or use paragraphs to make that ridiculous wall of text easy to understand)?? Seriously man, I know it hurts, I know what its like to be in love with someone that is using you to get ahead in their own life, and to want to believe that things will work out, but its not going to happen, ever... As for why it worked out this way, its because the girl is in love with the "ex" (seriously, you think thats her ex? They are living together and still jumping in bed together, put two and two together man!), not you. You are just a source of income to the tune of 240k a year... Financial support and absolute adoration (sadly enough) is not going to win a girls heart over to your side, there is a lot more to what makes a man attractive. Your behavior, if anything, most likely pushed her away more than anything. You let her walk all over you and pretty much did nothing about it. Next time show some backbone, stand up to yourself, and dont be afraid to let go of the girl and see what comes your way. Girls like guys that are aggressive and confident, and you haven't seemed to display those qualities based on your story.
Author PatheticDesperate80 Posted May 3, 2012 Author Posted May 3, 2012 Yes i very much agree, she got in my head way early on that the money didnt mean anything but of course it does. I was ashamed and embarrassed to even bring this up to someone. So i reached out here. I use things like ex etc to properly narrorate the story. Yes i realized some time ago that this was just a huge scam, i just didnt want to believe it was happening go me. Maybe she had some feelings you know? Of course thats what i want myself to believe so I can at least pick myself back up from this. But, yes... It felt good not to give in this time. Regardless of the guilt she was trying to lay down on me. You know, who really knows if it was me who passed the "cold sore" anyways. Im a nice clean good looking guy. I spent ten years in the military. You always think, im to smart for that. That will never happen to me, but damn it sure did. Thanks for the advice. Im posting to keep me positive and to hear it from others that this is false and greed so i dont find something that makes everything seem ok and head backdown that road.
foolish optimist Posted May 3, 2012 Posted May 3, 2012 I've been through the same (well... similar... there wasn't any money involved) in the past, so I know where you're coming from. When I was going for my degree one of the girls (actually the only girl) on my design team and I got kinda close and as it turned out she was in most of my classes, and I started falling for her, etc. and she started leading me on, giving me just enough to keep coming back for more, but not enough for me to feel good about the situation. Then she got 'busy' and 'sick' and needed help with her work which i gladly gave her, and then she got busier and sicker and the help turned in to me basically doing her work for her. The worst is that I knew what she was doing to me the whole time, all my friends knew, etc. and I told myself "Eh, I'm okay with it, maybe she'll come around and I'll get something out of this in the end..." Never happened, and it hurt pretty bad afterwards for a long time. I was in a really low place for a couple years, and I only really crawled out of that hole maybe 2 or 3 years ago.
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