tedjones Posted May 2, 2012 Posted May 2, 2012 Okay, first post. In a bit of a situation and would appreciate some help! Here's some background information: - I've been dating Samantha for 2.5 months. We see each other once or twice a week dependent on her work schedule. I am 29 and have a corporate job, she's 24 and serving (just finished 4 year degree, figuring out what to do next) so our schedules don't mix very well - We get along great. Absolutely no drama at all. We have not yet slept together...I know I really like her because I would never spend so much time with a girl without any sort of progress in this department. She admitted early on that she takes things very slowly. - Before we started dating she applied to an exchange program abroad (program is only 2 months). When she first told me the exchange was a possibility (about it about a month ago) I was highly supportive and told her she should do it (she joked that I was 'getting rid of her already') - it's a great opportunity for her and given her age I think she has to go travel and have some fun - We have spoken via text every day for the last 1.5 months Other random information: - I met her Father while we were randomly at the same event. I was with clients, she was with her Dad....we agreed to meet during an intermission...she could have easily met me on her own but brought her Dad with her. - She suggessted all of her friends come over to my place so we could meet and all go out together. Had a great time, and two of her friends approached me separately saying they think we should be dating. Anyway, here's the main issue. I could tell something was up with Samantha last week - she wasn't as talkative or responsive via text. (I know texting is kinda stupid and hard to gauge, but that's how we communicate 99% of the time.) She apologized and said that she just found out she got accepted into this program. She told me she's here for exactly three weeks and has to work as much as possible before she leaves....said she's likely to only have 3-4 days off in that time period and that she would be spending most of her free time with her family (she's very close with her family). Samantha suggested that in order not to 'ruin what we have' we should put things on hold until she's back. She said she always figured she would be leaving and didn't want to get too attached as it would only make things harder to leave....she wants to stay in touch, and get together before she leaves to say goodbye, but that she wouldn't have time to hang out as we have been and that it wouldn't be fair to me. Logically it all makes sense, but it doesn't feel right. I don't understand why we have to put things on hold right now. I understand that we won't be able to hang out as we have been, but I don't see why she has to be borderline cold with me before she leaves. She said she wants to stay in touch but we haven't talked for three full days now...normally a few days of not talking wouldn't be a big deal, but when you talk every day for 1.5 months (via text) it seems a little strange. I have mentioned on more than one occasion that I would like to see her before she goes. The first time was in response to her telling me she was leaving and she agreed that we would definitely get together to say goodbye. Since then, she's been extremely cold. Granted, she is stressed about booking the trip (a few different parts to it), stressed about $, taking heat from her Mom (she doesn't want her to go)....on top of that she told me a distant relative passed away and she had a bunch of family things to attend. Regardless of what is going on I feel like if she's into me like I was sure she was 10 days ago she will make time to see me. Literally nothing has changed with us with the exception of her learning that she was accepted into this program. On Saturday we had a brief conversation - I answered a question about a work trip and mentioned again that we need to get together before she goes. She wrote back on Sunday and didn't acknowledge the part about getting together. We had another chat on Sunday and I made sure to keep it light and funny. Didn't mention anything about seeing her. We haven't spoken since.... Am I overreacting or is distancing yourself before a trip somewhat normal? Why would she be doing this? My end goal is to be with her when she gets back, so I don't want to do anything now to jeopardize that...what's the best course of action here?
Feanor Posted May 2, 2012 Posted May 2, 2012 If she liked you enough, she'd find the time to meet up with you at least once before she goes. It's just some three week program and then she's using her serving job as an excuse for not meeting up!!!? Seriously!? Also, 2.5 months is a really long time to be dating someone without sex. I'm thinking you should dump this one and move on.
Recommended Posts