WisconsinWonder Posted May 2, 2012 Posted May 2, 2012 Hi I met a guy last weekend. He was msging me and then he called me on Sunday night to ask if I wanted to meet him on Saturday to go paint balling with him & his friends. I said ok, but have not heard from him since. Does this mean he has lost interest? It's been 3 days since I have heard from him
NeverDated Posted May 2, 2012 Posted May 2, 2012 Hi I met a guy last weekend. He was msging me and then he called me on Sunday night to ask if I wanted to meet him on Saturday to go paint balling with him & his friends. I said ok, but have not heard from him since. Does this mean he has lost interest? It's been 3 days since I have heard from him Did you set a date/place/time? If so, why would he contact you? The plan is set. No reason to contact. If not, just shoot him a text or call him asking when and where. You'll get your answer pretty quickly.
Ninjainpajamas Posted May 2, 2012 Posted May 2, 2012 Would that look desperate? Yes, you will look desperate. Give it time and let him contact you to confirm the "date" or outdoor activity, sounds like a fun time however how interested he is, is questionable at this point. If he's a decent guy he'll follow through with the plan, If he was a responsible guy he'd contact you to confirm plans, If he's really interested he'd contact you anyway but If he's shy he might not feel he has a reason to contact you until he sees you because he feels like "well, we'll just wait till sunday at this point" Bottom line is don't chase after him, let him contact you If he's interested. If you want to look a little desperate/insecure then don't try and be in his face until then, a man doesn't like a woman who just sits by the phone waiting for his call/text...so make yourself busy and concern yourself with your own life until then.
Author WisconsinWonder Posted May 2, 2012 Author Posted May 2, 2012 I'm just a bit confused, we kissed and hung out the whole time and really connected.
Author WisconsinWonder Posted May 2, 2012 Author Posted May 2, 2012 It takes JUST ONE CALL to unconfuse. He'll answer or you'll get a call back within one day if he's interested no matter how busy he may be. But is this him "playing it cool" or is he not interested?? I dont want to contact him and look like an idiot. And what would I say?
starla33 Posted May 2, 2012 Posted May 2, 2012 Hi I met a guy last weekend. He was msging me and then he called me on Sunday night to ask if I wanted to meet him on Saturday to go paint balling with him & his friends. I said ok, but have not heard from him since. Does this mean he has lost interest? It's been 3 days since I have heard from him Drop him a text. DO NOT call him!
Nikki Sahagin Posted May 2, 2012 Posted May 2, 2012 Call to confirm. If he doesn't answer or call back, give it 24 hours and make other plans. Don't complicate things by waiting and wondering. I second this. Call or text him and you'll get the answer you need.
Ninjainpajamas Posted May 2, 2012 Posted May 2, 2012 But is this him "playing it cool" or is he not interested?? I dont want to contact him and look like an idiot. And what would I say? @Planted...some of us read books, others have experience. There's no reason for you to rush the contact, let the man be the man and come to you. The choice is up to yours and I'm not here to argue with some person that basis all their knowledge off a book, but you will see what happens If you do, you already made plans for the date. I'm just a bit confused, we kissed and hung out the whole time and really connected. What happens in the moment doesn't necessarily carry you on to the next day. It's like watching an infomercial to lose weight...you get pumped up, you buy the dvd...then the next day it just sits on the shelf. In the moment it was one thing, but when the moment is gone, you use your head a little more and determine IF that's what you really want. IF you go based on that with men, you'll spend a lot of your time confused in this world...you've got to take for it is and nothing more, you still have to judge the follow up actions of a man, you can't just decide in one moment and let that represent everything you feel for the future and what you think of that person.
Author WisconsinWonder Posted May 2, 2012 Author Posted May 2, 2012 @Planted...some of us read books, others have experience. There's no reason for you to rush the contact, let the man be the man and come to you. The choice is up to yours and I'm not here to argue with some person that basis all their knowledge off a book, but you will see what happens If you do, you already made plans for the date. I'm just a bit confused, we kissed and hung out the whole time and really connected. What happens in the moment doesn't necessarily carry you on to the next day. It's like watching an infomercial to lose weight...you get pumped up, you buy the dvd...then the next day it just sits on the shelf. In the moment it was one thing, but when the moment is gone, you use your head a little more and determine IF that's what you really want. IF you go based on that with men, you'll spend a lot of your time confused in this world...you've got to take for it is and nothing more, you still have to judge the follow up actions of a man, you can't just decide in one moment and let that represent everything you feel for the future and what you think of that person. Thanks. I'm not thinking that if does go ahead should I even go? I don't want to be treated without the respect I deserve
Ninjainpajamas Posted May 2, 2012 Posted May 2, 2012 For example, think of one good reason to call him other to show your submissiveness because he very well knows he hasn't called you already, so what do you think it's going to look like to him? It's kinda funny, people are suggesting you screw yourself over this early in the process..he might not say or admit it, but It's going to have an affect on his psychology. Why do you think you were concerned about it in the beginning about looking desperate? Now because you want to contact him you're buckling under the weight of your emotions? ha...that's typical. But hey, impulsive decisions are always the best ones right?
Ninjainpajamas Posted May 2, 2012 Posted May 2, 2012 Thanks. I'm not thinking that if does go ahead should I even go? I don't want to be treated without the respect I deserve If you want to know how interested a guy is in you, see how far he's willing to extend himself and work for it. That doesn't mean stringing him along or playing chase, but let him put in the effort, don't do what many women do and just roll over and make it easy for a guy...A LOT of women do that and when a guy sees that he just thinks "I got this in the bag". You have to go based on your intuition whether you feel like giving him a shot or not, do you think he's a genuine guy? do you think you're going off anything concrete or does it just feel like you had a nice time but since then he hasn't really seemed to put that much effort or doesn't seem all that interested? In my opinion he's losing some points not contacting you and initiating the contact himself, If he was really interested in you then he wouldn't just make a date then sit on the backburner until that day arrives, especially a whole week away. But I didn't meet him and get a vibe for her personality or his intentions, I don't know If he's a passive type guy or just conveniently fitting you into his schedule. If he doesn't contact you before the day then I don't think you should go, or at least tell him something came up and you were unsure whether he the plans were still on since he hadn't contacted you since last Sunday, you thought he might have forgotten about it. If he really likes you he's going to apologize and see the fault in that and try to schedule another date...If he's not then he's just going to blow it off and think whatever, because he wasn't that interested and was just putting his best foot forward on the date with you. It's just not a good sign that he hasn't been keeping contact with you, If he does this now and he just met you and had some awesome connection with you, then how much a priority are you going to be once he knows how you feel for him? Use your gut/intuition, try not to think about how much you like this but how me he really is interested in you. Then make the best decision for yourself based off of that.
Author WisconsinWonder Posted May 2, 2012 Author Posted May 2, 2012 He had initiated all previous contact. He said he was very busy in work this week , but it only takes a minute to text someone...
Ninjainpajamas Posted May 2, 2012 Posted May 2, 2012 Have you been in a real relationship before? I've been in many. MEN DON'T CARE ABOUT DESPERATE, unless she does something really dumb such as call ten times OR if the man is a player. Are you a player? I can't tell If you're 16 or just suffered a severe brain injury. I've been in many. MEN DON'T CARE ABOUT DESPERATE There's a fundamental difference between you and I...and I think that says plenty about yourself in that statement and what kind of men you associate with yourself with. Some men don't mind using desperate women, they need the sex or the ego boost, but many sure in the hell don't want a relationship with them.
Author WisconsinWonder Posted May 2, 2012 Author Posted May 2, 2012 Did you set a date/place/time? If so, why would he contact you? The plan is set. No reason to contact. If not, just shoot him a text or call him asking when and where. You'll get your answer pretty quickly. Yeah he said collect me.
Ninjainpajamas Posted May 2, 2012 Posted May 2, 2012 He had initiated all previous contact. He said he was very busy in work this week , but it only takes a minute to text someone... That is exactly true, who is too busy to say hi and hope you're doing well? Men so often use that as an excuse with women I read it just about every day on these forums...there's no excuse really, in fact It's usually a cover to maintain their independence and even talk with other women, It's a way of alleviating the pressure of expectations. What guy is going to put some girl he just met that had an awesome time with her on the backburner? what If next week is busy and the next week? guess you'll just have to make do? I don't buy it, If you don't have time for a text/call, then you're basically saying you have no time for a relationship in man speak. 1
Feanor Posted May 2, 2012 Posted May 2, 2012 Text or call him tomorrow. I'm sure he's planning on getting a hold of you to confirm but if you don't hear from him by tomorrow night, you should contact to make sure it's still happening.
Micki Posted May 2, 2012 Posted May 2, 2012 Would that look desperate? I'd let him call me and pretend I didn't even notice he stood me up.
dsw31 Posted May 2, 2012 Posted May 2, 2012 1st of all, Ninjainpajamas is right 2nd of all, It's only been 3 days since you guys talked.Give him some time!
dsw31 Posted May 2, 2012 Posted May 2, 2012 3rd of all, look at dsw31's posting history. dsw31 and Ninjainpajamas now there's a couple. ha. That's very sweet Planted but I can't cheat on Wilsonx Ninjainpajamas knows what he's talking about here though.
Author WisconsinWonder Posted May 2, 2012 Author Posted May 2, 2012 1st of all, Ninjainpajamas is right 2nd of all, It's only been 3 days since you guys talked.Give him some time! But how much time is too much time? If he was interested would he not text in between?
Author WisconsinWonder Posted May 2, 2012 Author Posted May 2, 2012 Not neccesarily this early on. Is this him playing it cool, or just being a player? Sorry for all the questions, I got out of a 7 year relationship last year so haven't dated in a while!!
Ninjainpajamas Posted May 2, 2012 Posted May 2, 2012 Is this him playing it cool, or just being a player? Sorry for all the questions, I got out of a 7 year relationship last year so haven't dated in a while!! Some guys like to take the 3 day rule to heart and not contact a woman to prevent themselves looking like they're desperate...however in this situation he made plans for another date which was a good sign and already showed at least in that moment he was interested, however why the heat simmered down is suspicious, even though It's because of work...I used to work 16 hour days myself so I do have some experience with that as well. It could be him playing it cool or just not having that much interest, whatever you do don't take anything to heart this early on in the game. You really have to treat each day as a new day, have a short term memory, a lot of guys turn the heat up intensely early on to get what they want then pull on the ejection seat or back off, you should have a guilty until proven innocent kind of attitude unfortunately, because the dating world can be a cruel and insensitive place, so always keep your head in the game and use your better judgment. And you really just have to move with the punches here, you can't get wrapped up into one guy too much and put all your eggs in one basket or you might find yourself extremely disappointed when men don't follow through with what they say. If you start getting in the habit of initiating contact with men, pursuing them for the sake of keeping the ball rolling you'll end up showing your cards so to speak too early on, showing too much interest in a man especially a man who is playing around with women is like a fresh piece of meat just waiting to devoured. You've to show that you have standards, self-respect and aren't just going to go with whichever the rivers flows with a man, stick quietly with your hands folded and let the man do whatever he wishes...be in control of your own life and destiny, don't just be a feather in the wind and keep your emotions at bay until a man has truly shown he is invested and willing to take you and your feelings seriously and he's genuine about giving the same back you are willing. Just some general advice there about dating since you've been out of the game a while. I'm glad you still have enough sense not to just roll over for the first guy that you feel something compelling with and are being cautious, that's a very good thing, don't deny your intuition let it help guide you through the confusion.
snug.bunny Posted May 2, 2012 Posted May 2, 2012 He has made all the contact so far. Right she should be in control of her own life and destiny and that includes making some of the contact. I think you're missing the point Ninja is trying to make. The guy invited her to go out. He SAID IT, he should follow through with it. If he's painfully shy, that's one thing, but, he wasn't shy to suggest it so following through with it should be relatively easy for him.
Feanor Posted May 2, 2012 Posted May 2, 2012 If he wasn't interested, he would not have asked her to go to paintball with his friends. He didn't just say "wanna go out on Saturday," he had a specific event in mind. I'm pretty sure the guy will contact her but she shouldn't have to wait until Saturday morning to know whether or not it's still happening. If she texts him tomorrow, he's not gonna say "Oh my god! She texted me to confirm a date. She must be desperate! I'll never speak with her again!!!"
Recommended Posts