canoeracer Posted May 2, 2012 Posted May 2, 2012 (edited) Advice on A Rejection Situation I had been talking with a woman who works as a cashier (we are both late 20s). She initiated the first conversation and always seemed nervous around me and kept the conversation going. I decided what they hey, I'll ask her out. So I asked her if she wanted to hang out and she said ok and then gave me her phone number after I asked (there were no other customers or people around). I called her a few days later and left a message but she never called me back. I haven't called back or seen her since (about a week). The thing is, I go to that store a lot. I'm still interested in her, but I can take a hint. I wouldn't pursue her or even flirt with her, but I don't want to seem like a wuss who runs away when he gets rejected. Is it weird for me to go back to the store where I will see her again? Edited May 2, 2012 by canoeracer guess you can't say "Advice"
jobaba Posted May 2, 2012 Posted May 2, 2012 Not really. You barely know her. You're probably not the first regular customer she's rejected either. Not by a long shot.
TigerCub Posted May 2, 2012 Posted May 2, 2012 No, I think you should still go to the store. Don't try to get in her lane and stuff, and if you see her just smile, but don't stop to chat, don't look away like you're ashamed. Just go about your business. That will at least show her that you're cool about it and you're not stalking her and there's plenty fish in the sea, you don't care about her rejection.
persevere Posted May 2, 2012 Posted May 2, 2012 Agreed (tigercub) Just keep acting per usual. You want to go to the store?, then do it. Make it clear you are not there to see her. Smile and say hello, but don't give her much time. DO NOT mention anything about the phone call she didn't return. Again, act like nothing happened, go about your business and leave the store. She may actually call you then, because she'll be confused as to why didn't kiss her ___ and are not bothered by her flakiness.
jobaba Posted May 2, 2012 Posted May 2, 2012 No, I think you should still go to the store. Don't try to get in her lane and stuff, and if you see her just smile, but don't stop to chat, don't look away like you're ashamed. Just go about your business. That will at least show her that you're cool about it and you're not stalking her and there's plenty fish in the sea, you don't care about her rejection. Agreed (tigercub) Just keep acting per usual. You want to go to the store?, then do it. Make it clear you are not there to see her. Smile and say hello, but don't give her much time. DO NOT mention anything about the phone call she didn't return. Again, act like nothing happened, go about your business and leave the store. She may actually call you then, because she'll be confused as to why didn't kiss her ___ and are not bothered by her flakiness. Sigh... Games, games, games...
Author canoeracer Posted May 2, 2012 Author Posted May 2, 2012 I went back to the store and there is only one line. When she saw me in line she actually had someone else take over for her. Wow that is really breathtaking.
jobaba Posted May 2, 2012 Posted May 2, 2012 I went back to the store and there is only one line. When she saw me in line she actually had someone else take over for her. Wow that is really breathtaking. And she is in her late 20s? *shakes head*
TigerCub Posted May 2, 2012 Posted May 2, 2012 Sigh... Games, games, games... Why is it a game. I think he should still go about his business and not let this one rejection drive him from a store he goes to. Why should he change his routine just because it didn't work out with a cashier? What I suggested wasn't a game at all, it was a way for him to still go to the store without giving her the false impression that he's there to see her. No game about that - just common sense. 1
TigerCub Posted May 2, 2012 Posted May 2, 2012 I went back to the store and there is only one line. When she saw me in line she actually had someone else take over for her. Wow that is really breathtaking. Sorry about that - that must have been awkward. Too bad there wasn't another line.
persevere Posted May 2, 2012 Posted May 2, 2012 Why is it a game. I think he should still go about his business and not let this one rejection drive him from a store he goes to. Why should he change his routine just because it didn't work out with a cashier? What I suggested wasn't a game at all, it was a way for him to still go to the store without giving her the false impression that he's there to see her. No game about that - just common sense. Agreed. My post wasn't an attempt to purposely play games. The fact of the matter is, the guy likes to go to that store. He showed interest in her, she didn't call. Oh well. Back to square one. Don't be rude to her, just to know that she is probably not interested and he should go about his business. Not to pressure her, etc.
mtber75 Posted May 2, 2012 Posted May 2, 2012 Really...After one voice mail you gave up and avoided the store. That's being a wuss. At least try one more time to contact her. No reason to avoid the store. Just go in and say hello if she's not interested.
persevere Posted May 2, 2012 Posted May 2, 2012 I went back to the store and there is only one line. When she saw me in line she actually had someone else take over for her. Wow that is really breathtaking. That's about as strong as indication you can get. Not interested. However, now she now thinks you are going there for her. Yes, awkward. However, it is her problem. Not yours.
mtber75 Posted May 2, 2012 Posted May 2, 2012 Sorry man, you already found out the answer if she is avoiding you at the store. That just sucks!
Author canoeracer Posted May 2, 2012 Author Posted May 2, 2012 That's about as strong as indication you can get. Not interested. However, now she now thinks you are going there for her. Yes, awkward. However, it is her problem. Not yours. Yes that is the horrible thing. I just wanted to go to get my regular stuff, but by doing that she makes me feel like I am some crazy stalker!!!! Arghhh! I hate dating
persevere Posted May 2, 2012 Posted May 2, 2012 Yes that is the horrible thing. I just wanted to go to get my regular stuff, but by doing that she makes me feel like I am some crazy stalker!!!! Arghhh! I hate dating Well. You were just trying to be nice. She gave you her phone number, then flakes when you called. That's what gets me. Why do these gals even bother giving you a number, with no intent of ever responding? They should just tell you they are not interested, or "sorry I don't give my number out". It's a crime against a man's emotions. I am not sure women realize they hurt guys by doing this stuff. In other words "I'd rather be hit in the gut and told to beat it, than led to think there's 'something' to hope for." Now, she is avoiding you, directly? You don't need someone like that anyway. Shame on her. Again, not your problem. If she wants to feel uncomfortable or being "stalked", it is her issue. Her fault for throwing you under the bus and insulting you with her avoidance. She's got the issues, not you. Just go to your store, buy your stuff. Maybe say hi, but leave her alone otherwise. 1
Author canoeracer Posted May 2, 2012 Author Posted May 2, 2012 Well. You were just trying to be nice. She gave you her phone number, then flakes when you called. That's what gets me. Why do these gals even bother giving you a number, with no intent of ever responding? They should just tell you they are not interested, or "sorry I don't give my number out". It's a crime against a man's emotions. I am not sure women realize they hurt guys by doing this stuff. In other words "I'd rather be hit in the gut and told to beat it, than led to think there's 'something' to hope for." Now, she is avoiding you, directly? You don't need someone like that anyway. Shame on her. Again, not your problem. If she wants to feel uncomfortable or being "stalked", it is her issue. Her fault for throwing you under the bus and insulting you with her avoidance. She's got the issues, not you. Just go to your store, buy your stuff. Maybe say hi, but leave her alone otherwise. Thanks for making me feel better! I also wish women would understand that it is ok to just say, "No I'm not interested!" It would save so much unneeded emotional confusion and pain. I can handle rejection. I guess they are afraid that the guy is going to cause a scene or something?
TheFinalWord Posted May 2, 2012 Posted May 2, 2012 Advice on A Rejection Situation I had been talking with a woman who works as a cashier (we are both late 20s). She initiated the first conversation and always seemed nervous around me and kept the conversation going. I decided what they hey, I'll ask her out. So I asked her if she wanted to hang out and she said ok and then gave me her phone number after I asked (there were no other customers or people around). I called her a few days later and left a message but she never called me back. I haven't called back or seen her since (about a week). The thing is, I go to that store a lot. I'm still interested in her, but I can take a hint. I wouldn't pursue her or even flirt with her, but I don't want to seem like a wuss who runs away when he gets rejected. Is it weird for me to go back to the store where I will see her again? Absolutely, 100%, do not change who you are or what you want to do because of her immature attitude.
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